The news for penises: the Penuma

July 7, 2023

(Well, yes, it’s all about penises — with photos, but not of penises, and some plain talk in street language — so not to everyone’s taste, and you should take that into account.)

The background, from my 1/26/16 posting “Huge News For Men!”, reporting on a GQ story. The story’s lead-in:

An enterprising L.A. surgeon [James Elist] has invented a silicone penis implant [the Penuma], which, because we’re sure you have a frient who’ll want to know, costs 13 grand and can nearly double your size. Amy Wallace grills the good doctor on how it works – and asks a few of his satisfied customers (and their mostly satisfied wives) how it’s working.

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Comes in /perz/

July 5, 2023

A very much not-dead-yet posting to hold this space while I cope with an avalanche of posting material, plus my suddenly much improved medical condition (which is totally exhilarating). In any case, an old One Big Happy cartoon (originally from 9/4/14) in which Ruthie asks her defiantly working-class neighbor James to name something that comes in pairs, but James hears the homophone pears (both nouns pronounced /perz/ in my variety of English) and just can’t get shift his perspective:


Note James’s multiply non-standard negative existential construction in his ain’t no shoes

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Backup life

July 4, 2023

If you’re a normal person and you run out of something in your household — toilet paper, granola, cleaning products, cheese, plastic trash bags, whatever — you just go out to a relevant store and pick it up. If you’re (essentially) housebound, as I am, in this situation, you have to plan ahead and get backup supplies delivered, so that replacements are to hand when you need them. (Even normal people might providently plan for the future and also save time and money on buying in bulk by laying in backup supplies.)

In any case, I’m obliged to live the backup life and have stocks of stuff hanging around — many of them piled up on what was once a sofabed in the study of my condo (which otherwise has very little usable storage space). At the moment, it has boxes or piles of Kleenex, toilet paper, paper towels, and wet wipes. There are similar stashes elsewhere in the condo. I spend a good bit of time ordering in this stuff, mostly through Amazon.

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Evil empires

July 3, 2023

An attempt to respond (despite my home health challenges) to a Facebook comment about my 7/2/23 posting “SUMC moments: Dutch treat”. That posting included a section on the evils of the Dutch Empire; Tim Evanson then wrote on FB:

Coincidentally, the Belgian Empire just apologized for the rape of the Congo this past week.

Now my response to TE: Read the rest of this entry »

Fresh disasters on the home health front

July 3, 2023

Very brief account of last night’s adventures; I hope this will explain my absence from social media and my failure to respond to e-mail.

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SUMC moments: Dutch treat

July 2, 2023

A complex follow-up to my 6/27/23 posting “SUMC moments: the apple juice”, where I wrote:

At one point in my most recent SUMC stay we had gotten to the place where I was about to be taken off NPO (see my previous posting “SUMC moments: NPO”) and given some modest real food, but the orders to do this had not yet been issued. The head nurse (about whom more in another posting [this very posting], which will take us to India and the northeast corner of South America) took pity on me and extracted — oh great pleasure! — a tiny box of apple juice for me [from the wonderfully named apple juice company Apple & Eve].

Meanwhile I stared at Sha’s name tag, which said her name was:

Shakoentala Jagroep

I stared, baffled, by the name, with its puzzling OE spellings, until I recognized her first name in this strange spelling. Why, I asked, was Shakuntala — a name of great weight in India — spelled in this fashion? She was startled and impressed by my pronunciation, which I pronounced in Sanskrit fashion, notably with the T and L quite different from an English rendition of the name. “You said it right!”, she exclaimed. And added, cryptically, “The Dutch Empire”, but was then called away on other duties.

Later, I got to ask her what part of the Dutch Empire, guessing Indonesia, surely the biggest piece. But no: little Suriname, in the northeast corner of South America.

I will track through this history below, but first a digressive note about one of the evils of the Dutch in Indonesia.

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The home health report

July 2, 2023

A compact description of my health problems at home (after a second return from SUMC several days ago). As I said in an earlier posting, my various distresses are complex and interacting. But things are looking up and slowly improving.

I am explicitly not asking for advice, only some empathy, no matter how much you would like to help me with my afflictions (which ultimately number in the many dozens, some with me since childhood, some more recent, some a consequence of weaning myself slowly from prednisone — now down to a very small maintenance dose, after doing useful, but ultimately toxic, work on dangerous symptoms of my advanced kidney disease).

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The Belgian beer glass

July 1, 2023

More backlog, this time from Ernesto Cuba posting from Toronto on May 27, with this glass he was served beer in at the Prenup Pub there:


A beer glass from the Delirium Taproom in Brussels, Belgium; note the pink elephants

From my 5/27/23 posting “Puer mingens at the Prenup Pub”, about the pissing boy statue there:

the pissing boy is a replica of the famous Manneken Pis statue in Brussels, Belgium, and the Prenup Pub specializes in Belgian and German beers and food, so the statue fits right in at the pub, even though the pub’s in Toronto (ca. 6100 km or 3800 mi from Brussels, across the Atlantic).

So: not just the Manneken Pis statue replicating the Brussels original, but also the actual glassware from the Delirium Taproom there.

Names in Canada

June 30, 2023

One more (quite brief) posting from the gigantic backlog, this time from a report by Peruvian linguist Ernesto Cuba on Facebook back in May. From EC, a report from an Edmonton Journal article by Joseph Brean on 5/31/23, about three papers from the Society for the Study of Names meeting in Toronto (at which EC gave a paper): about hockey nicknames, heavy metal band names, and Chinese restaurant names (in English and in Chinese characters) in Toronto’s Chinatown.

You might think that all this is hopelessly trivial — because it’s just about names and not about, say syntax — and parochial — because it’s Canadian, while we all know that the US is the real fount of linguistic and lexicographic research, with the rest of the world slumbering in some sort of benighted backwater. If so, you would be dead wrong, and I say this as (among other things) a syntactician and as an American.

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54 years of chamber music and more

June 30, 2023

(More from the gigantic backlog of postings.)

This is a chorus of praise for a forthcoming book by my sister-in-law Virginia Transue (technically, my sister-in-law-in-law, and even that involves stretching the sense of spouse a bit: VT is my husband-equivalent’s brother’s wife, but we disregard all the lexical niceties, since she and I are all that’s left in the immediate family from our generation). With a surprising kicker about the moral underpinning of her enterprise — nobody expects A.J. Liebling!

The cover of the book:


Note the subtitle

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