Archive for the ‘Language of advertising’ Category

Names in the comics

May 15, 2017

The One Big Happy in today’s comics feed:

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Ouch: Creighton Barrel / Crate & Barrel.

There’s quite a path in the history of Creighton as a first name. This will take us to probably the most famous person with first name Creighton, US Army General Creighton W. Abrams — and his son Creighton W. Abrams, a classmate of mine at Princeton.

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The trophy boys park the beef bus in tuches town

April 9, 2017

(The title tells the story. Racy topic, unquestionably alluding to hard-core mansex, but indirectly and playfully. Use your judgment.)

The Steam Room Stories video that came by me yesterday morning: “Trophy Boys”, in which two good-looking, ripped gay men complain about being treated as pieces of meat, as just their bulging muscles and big dicks. There are several twists in this short scene (which you can watch here), but here I’m going to focus on the title and on one of the men’s complaints about the men who pick him up as their trophy boy:

It’s dinner, drinks, and back to their place to park the beef bus in tuches town.

(referring to insertive anal intercourse). Playful alliteration in beef bus and tuches town, — the characters in SRS are given to fanciful indirect references to all matters sexual — and then there are the specific items beef, tuches, and of course trophy in trophy boy.

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Quick, Bruce, the blat!

April 4, 2017

(Not for kids or the sexually modest, unless they/you have a high tolerance for weirdness and obscene allusion. No naughty bits will be on view, no acts of penetration will be detailed in print, it will all be in your mind’s eye. But that might be quite enough.)

Today’s morning name: the verb blat, which led me through a thicket of associations (largely phonological) having to do with beer, bars, baseball bats (real ones, of ash wood, and metaphorical ones, of manmeat), the Platte River in Nebraska, and then (by thematic association) to chiropterans, Die Fledermaus, Bruce Wayne and his boy wonder, vampires, and a lot of mansex — oh, those damn superheroes and bloodsuckers, it comes with the capes, they’re always sliding into Fagotopia, the fuckin’ flits. Along the way there will be two episodes of deranged free verse, none of it in the least bit wholesome, and some disastrous spraying by the Demon Dr. of Whoville.

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Another phenomenally bad idea

March 29, 2017

(Mostly about food, but there’s a mansex interlude, so be warned.)

A couple days ago it was (thanks to Margalit Fox) the hologram-bunny (a hollusion) that comes to life to decorate homes and parties. I’m not quite sure why the idea struck so many people (including Margalit and me) as disturbing, but it was. Now comes an edible counterpart, but this time I think I understand the source of the unease that it arouses.

Reported by Kim Darnell, this is Delighted By (sometimes: delighted by) dessert hummus. On the grocery shelf:

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It comes in four flavors: Brownie Batter, Snickerdoodle, Orange Dreamsickle, Vanilla Bean.

Thing is, hummus is a savory food, and these flavors are all sweet (apparently, achingly so).

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The demented rabbit p.r. pitch

March 27, 2017

More remarkable p.r. pitched to the NYT obituarist (among other things) Margalit Fox (reported by her on Facebook today):

Hello Margalit

I wanted to make sure you had the story about ‘Hoppy The Easter Bunny,’ the first-ever hologram-bunny who comes to life to decorate homes and parties.

The full story is below. You are welcome to review Hoppy and other _____ products, share the story, etc, so long as _____ is cited as the source and when possible, linked to. If you would like to interview the _____ founders and leadership about the new trend in digital decorating, please let me know.

  • What Does Hoppy the Easter Bunny Do?

He hops, paints eggs, grows flowers, and even preforms magic tricks. …

  • How Does Hoppy Come To Life?

Hoppy’s animated loop-able scenes can be projected onto walls, screens, and special hollusion material that makes it look like Hoppy is standing anywhere in your home…

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Risible (faux-)commercial name

March 13, 2017

From a posting by Randy Murray to the Facebook page‎ “THE ERRORIST MOVEMENT – Correct grammar, with humour”, where he comments, “apostrophes mean so much”:

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At first glance, this ad would seem to fall into four big topic areas on this blog: dubious commercial names; It’s All Grammar; vulgar slang; and phallic play (in particular, word play). To which I add: the conventions on the form of hashtags, e-mail addresses, and web addresses (URLs). But first, I have to tell you that this particular Dick’s Pizza is a fabrication.

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Annals of p.r. pitches

March 2, 2017

In the tradition of my 2/4 posting “Demented p.r. pitches, absurd ad copy”, I begin with an annoying initial p.r. pitch (on January 6th) for “optimizing ad space”, from a representative (JP) of a company I’ll call King Holdings to a blogger (KW):

I’ve been trying to get in touch with somebody in regards to learning about your site’s advertising strategy – specifically how you’re set up monetizing your site.

My name is [JP] and I work for [King Holdings], which is a premium ad exchange …

I’d love to talk about how you’re currently optimizing your ad space and what [King] can provide to scale it. Who is the correct person to contact regarding this opportunity?

Rather than just deleting the feeler, or replying that he was a blogger and not in need of advertising, KW chose to take the bait and throw it back with a big hook in it (a response to Nigerian Scam letters that people occasionally adopt, even understanding that they might be embarking on a major project). (more…)

Genuine mink jock

January 11, 2017

A preposterous vintage 70s fashion ad that’s all over the net (though, as usual, without a verifiable source):

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Twin Kings

December 4, 2016

Burger King has a long series of brief tv ads showing (usually) two people, mostly young people (presumably from their target audience), friends, who are enjoying BK specials while bantering and wearing their BK golden crowns. Lots of white males, some white females, and now two young black guys — who happen to be twins. Doing a black “street” style of speech and gesture (including some falsetto), playful and kind of goofy. A still:

You can watch the ad here. On iSpot.tv: 2016 Burger King 2 for $10 Whopper Meal TV Commercial, ‘Twins’.

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The superb object of his attention

November 17, 2016

(Hunky guy in underwear, somewhat suggestive caption, nothing to frighten the horses. But in case this isn’t what you want to see …)

The Daily Jocks ad from the 14th, with a caption added by me:

By himself in the
Darkened rainbow
Sex room,
Cromo reflected on the
Secret of his
Crotch, found it was a
Flash piece of
Top-notch meat.

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