Archive for the ‘Underwear’ Category

The Insolence and the Ecstasy

July 18, 2016

(Not for kids or the sexually modest.)

Today’s Daily Jocks ad, offering 2eros Black Label items (with my caption):

(#1)

The Insolent Brothers
Offer themselves
On the altar of Eros to
Needy faggots

Buddy White more
Welcoming, Bro Black more
Contemptuous; off work they’re
Tight with one another but
Certain they’d never ever
Switch teams to join

The Ecstatic Sisters, the way those
Queers Mikey Bono and
Lennie Vance did

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Celebrations

July 7, 2016

The Daily Jocks ad for the 4th, featuring their very own patriotic underwear, worn by a decidely worried-looking model (with my caption):

Hank was always
Up for the
Hot-dog eating
Contest, but he was
Anxious about exploding
Fireworks in his pants

(more…)

At the Head of the Wolf

June 18, 2016

(Money, sex, and anthropophagy, plus killer abs and electric underwear.)

Today’s Daily Jocks ad, with a caption of mine:

(#1)

Catherine showered the boys with
Money, Sebastian traded the bounty of
His Electric jockstrap for the treasures in
Their ragged boardshorts, but the
Cash ran out — the slavering
Pack set upon the terrified Sebastian,
Ripped what lean flesh they could from
His beautiful body.

The caption sets the 2(X)IST Electric underwear ad in the Spanish beach town of Cabeza de Lobo, the location of the movie Suddenly, Last Summer (1959), in which Montgomery Clift succumbs to a pack of beach boys.

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Ballad of beef

May 25, 2016

(Not much about language.)

The Daily Jocks ad from yesterday, with a caption of mine:

(#1)

His name was
Drogo, after the legendary
Horseman, but everyone called him
Oxo, because he was so
Beefy.

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Mint, Flint, Slate, Brick

May 1, 2016

From Daily Jocks on the 28th, an Obviously AnatoMAX man, with a caption of mine:

He scrutinized himself pitilessly in the
Mirror, as a piece of meat to feed the
Hot guys – Was his hairstyle
Trendy enough? Would his long slim torso
Excite them, or did they need
Big muscles? Was the Hipster Trunk in Mint
Too faggy, or would that be a good thing? Would the
Humongous pouch make them laugh or
Get them hard?

He’s in a Hipster Trunk, which comes in Mint, Flint Blue, Slate, and Red Brick.

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70s Cleaverwear

April 18, 2016

Following up on my posting of the 14th on men’s knitwear with elephant-trunk and snake appendages — apparently intended as underwear but easily interpretable as soft codpieces — Arne Adolfsen posted on Facebook to ask if anyone remembered “Eldridge Cleaver’s foray into haute couture”; an advertisement (available on several sites) from the period, passed on by Arne:

(Many would say this is basse couture.)

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The knitwear news for penises

April 14, 2016

From Aric Olnes, a link to this entertainment on the Dangerous Minds site: “‘Sexy’ Knitted Elephant and Snake Underwear for Men” by Tara McGinley 4/13/16 (intended for a woman to give her man, but of course a man could get (or knit) them for himself or for his guy):

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Magnitude boys

April 10, 2016

(Ok, men’s bodies and some suggestive verse, but nothing really X-rated. And there’s even a bit of language stuff.)

The most recent Daily Jocks ad, with an accompanying on-line ad (and my caption):

(#1)

(#2)

His name was McTrim,
And he called himself Tim,
But everyone knew him as Pansy.

Now he and his man, who called himself Stan.
Were in the back room making whoopee, when
Their buddy broke in, grinning a grin, growling
Move over boys, Daddy needs nookie!

(Ok, a take-off on Lennon & McCartney’s Rocky Raccoon. And yes, I’ve messed with the line divisions, while preserving the rhymes, including my half-rhyme whoopee – nookie, which introduces the item nookie, for another posting.)

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Color scheme

April 2, 2016

(Men in underwear, but no actual street talk or X-rated images.)

Yesterday’s Daily Jocks ad (with a caption of mine):

(#1)

Ben ran through the
Watermelon patch in his
Fruity jockstrap, hunting for
His boy Dino, Di, Princess Di!, in
Diamond Dash Pink briefs that
Drove Ben crazy for him,
Slim on slim, take a
Bite of the fruit, baby.

Ben’s boy Di, in the Supawear Diamond Dash Brief in Pink:

(#2)

Like the caption says, slim on slim.

DO NOT WRITE ME about the problems with the image of a black man on a field of watermelon slices. I will write separately about the racist stereotype and its long, very sad, history, and about street vendors’ calls, the watermelon woman in Porgy and Bess, Herbie Hancock’s jazz standard “Watermelon Man”, Melvin van Peebles’s in-your-face movie Watermelon Man, and more. I frankly can’t imagine what was going through the DJ ad writers’ heads when they put together the image in #1, which would have been merely heavily gay-sexual (like premium men’s underwear ads in general) and playful (with its outrageous colors and its in-your-face flaunting of the anti-gay slur fruit). if it hadn’t been for those watermelon slices. I was, in fact, affronted, but I’ll put off explaining why to another posting. This one is for a fantasy pairing of two gay men, as in the caption.

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Smooth operator

March 19, 2016

From Daily Jocks yesterday (with my caption):

(#1)

Joey Jockstrap was a cheap con man who
Preyed on gullible gay men, luring them through his
Intriguing slicked-back retro look and his
Intense, urgent sexual presence – but he couldn’t
Restrain himself from ripping off his clothes to
Parade the jutting package in the jockstrap.that
Gave him his alliterative street name.

Lift! Support! Enhance!

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