Archive for the ‘Language of sex’ Category

Annals of remarkable commerce

September 20, 2020

(About anatomical organs and sex between men, totally not suitable for kids or the sexually modest)

On the Naked Sword site yesterday (9/19), this remarkable ad for Fort Troff BOOF CBD suppositories (“It’s like poppers for your ass”):


Take me, please (supine version)

September 3, 2020

(Men’s bodies and mansex discussed in street language, so not at all appropriate for kids and the sexually modest.)

An e-mail ad from Daily Jocks today, which turns out to be the second of a pair. The ad copy for this one:

Welcome to The Daily Jocks Backroom, from harnesses to wrestling suits, check out some of the most intimate products from your favourite brands including Cellblock13, Nasty Pig & many more.

What’s for sale here is some brightly colored festishwear, what could fairly be described as hot garments (harnesses, jockstraps, socks) to get fucked in)


Take me, please

August 29, 2020

(All about men’s bodies and mansex, described in street language, so utterly inappropriate for kids or the sexually modest. As usual, I have more general points to make about sex, gender, and sexuality, but there’s no getting around the flagrant raunchiness of the content.)

An e-mail ad yesterday for a Daily Jocks sale, promoting their DJX fetishwear, specifically their very handsome harnesses and jockstraps, that comes as close to being flat-out gay porn as possible. A beautifully (but not extravagantly) muscled male body, lying prone on the silky sheets of a bed — simultaneously tough and high-masculine and also sumptuously queer — with his knees drawn up to offer his very muscular male buttocks for sex.


Mansex positions: spitroasting

August 11, 2020

(Obviously not for kids or the sexually modest. In fact, it’s deeply, unimaginably, not for kids or the sexually modest.)

Another chapter in the big book of positions for mansex, about a type of three-man encounter. From my AZBlogX posting of 3/31/13, “Threesomes and more”:

A gay spitroast, or spitroasting — or taking it at both ends — involves a man being fucked by one man while sucking another man’s cock. The metaphor is to the spitroasting of meat (pork, lamb. chicken)

… Spitroasting is not particularly hard to pull off, and if you’re the fortunate pig on the spit, the thrusting of the guy fucking you can push your mouth onto the cock of the guy you’re sucking, making the three of you a single sexual engine. In my wild younger days, I was the pig a number of times; it’s a total cockpig experience.

This assumes the canonical gay spitroast, in which the pig’s body is horizontal, and facing downward (so that his ass is easily available for fucking). Yes, there’s also an upward pig variant, and a vertical pig variant too. Illustrations on AZBlogX (in the 8/11/20 posting “Spitroast chronicles”), since hardly any of them could be cropped for this blog; after all, the practice is all about dicks, so its representation in gay porn abounds in penises.


Caterpillars spinning platters

August 5, 2020

Yesterday’s Wayno/Piraro Bizarro, with songs you just can’t get out of your head:

(#1) (If you’re puzzled by the odd symbols in the cartoon — Dan Piraro says there are 6 in this strip — see this Page.)

A wonderful collision of worlds, set off by the idiomatic (and colorfully metaphorical) N + N compound earworm: the world of DJs — the ear world (disc jockeys providing sonic pleasures for the ear) — and the world of caterpillars — the worm world (caterpillars being one type of worm in colloquial English).


Towards the high end of the hardness scale

August 4, 2020

(All I need to tell you is that this posting takes off from a line of Cumdump jockstraps offered by the Breedwell company in deliberately provocative ads, and you should see that it’s totally not for kids or the sexually modest.)

A Daily Jocks ad from 11/4/19 shows us the jock in red, with a model presented faux-naturalistically as a tough working-class guy in a blue-collar setting (a railyard, shipyard, or truckyard). Ad copy for the jock:

The new Breedwell Cumdump Jock [available in white, black, red, yellow, and blue] is a take on the classic, old-school woven jock.

Features a black centre patch with the Breedwell logo and signature “Dirty By Choice” motto. The back of the jock features ‘Breedwell’ across the entire back.



August 4, 2020

The 9/20/19 Wayno/Piraro Bizarro collabo (resurrected from my posting queue):

(#1) (If you’re puzzled by the odd symbols in the cartoon — Dan Piraro says there are 6  in this strip — see this Page.)

A surrogate for the human hand in the canine sensual act of belly-rubbing..


Turkish turquoise

July 13, 2020

(About men’s bodies, with allusions to mansex, so not suitable for kids or the sexually modest.)

The Daily Jocks 7/10 ad for two more items in the Elia beachwear company’s offerings for men: the Titan swim short in the (new) Turkish Tile pattern, worn by a model I pronounce to be a Turkish young man named Yusuf; and the Kos enhanced-cup swim brief in turquoise, worn by a (presumed) Romanian man I am calling Alexandru.

This is the fourth in a series of postings about Elia’s offerings, and I’m going to need to explain how Romania, Greece, and Turkey are all somehow mixed up in this. But first, the ad and a story I have spun about Yusuf and Alexandru in it.


Midnight Tropics

July 9, 2020

(Material in very plain language about men’s bodies and mansex, so not for kids or the sexually modest.)

This began as a brief follow-up to my 7/7 posting “Navy flamingos and roseate spoonbills”, about enhanced-cup swim briefs (seen in front view) from the Elia company, in the Navy Flamingo pattern: navy-blue with pink flamingos — but it moves into other territory (heavy on anal intercourse). In any case, yesterday the Daily Jocks sale offer featured the Elia enhanced pouch swim brief “Midnight Tropics” (in rear view):


A handsome pattern, including the pink flowers (pink is a subtheme in Elia swimwear for men), and clearly designed to highlight the sexual desirability of the wearer’s buttocks (which, in this case, seem eminently pregnable already).


Navy flamingos and roseate spoonbills

July 7, 2020

An excellent line of dactylic tetrameter — Navy flamingos and roseate spoonbills — featuring two strikingly pink birds, and these birds on fancifully patterned men’s swimwear and shorts. Then a bonus item that’s not suitable for kids or the sexually modest.

We begin with yesterday’s Daily Jocks ad, for the Elia beachwear company:

(#1) A not entirely human apparition on the beach, a superreal PlasticMan hunk, staring down fixedly at his big (artificially enhanced) package and at the wonderfully playful pink flamingos on his navy-blue swim briefs (note the typo flip fops, which I’ll get to in the bonus section)