Archive for the ‘Language of sex’ Category

Brainless Tales, with more news for penises

May 20, 2017

#4 in my “Squid Pro Quo” posting is from Marcus Connor’s Brainless Tales, a new webcomic for me, but one largely devoted to language play. And immediately I came across this cartoon, with a portmanteau noun denoting a hybrid, doubly phallic, foodstuff:


baniener = banana + wiener, denoting a decidedly louche anthromorphized banana-wiener. Hey, baby, wanna dance?


Fags Before Flags, and other in-your-face t-shirts

May 14, 2017

(Plain talk about men’s bodies and sexual practices, so use your judgment.)

Thanks to Greg Parkinson for a link to this John Crisvitello t-shirt:


The slogan is a send-up of the odious BROS BEFORE HOS, preserving only the rhyming, the street language, and a message about balancing allegiances. My reading of the slogan is that it calls for gay men to generally value bonds to other gay men — fags stand with fags — over the sorts of allegiances expressed in flags: nationality, regional identity, religion, race and ethnicity, political affiliation, etc.


Months and days

May 13, 2017

Something I’m moderately sure of is that May is National, maybe International, Masturbation Month. All ny sources seem to agree on that. From the current version of Wikipedia:

The first National Masturbation Day was observed May 14, 1995, after sex-positive retailer Good Vibrations declared the day in honor of Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who was fired in 1994 by President Bill Clinton for suggesting masturbation be part of the sex education curriculum for students.

International Masturbation Day has since been expanded to include the entire month of May as International Masturbation Month

(Note both vaginal and phallic symbols.)

Already there’s a question: why May 14th, back in 1995? Then things get quickly complex: an earlier version of the Wikipedia article, which I posted about here in 2013, identified Masturbation Day as May 7th (a date apparently selected by Good Vibrations in 1999) in the US, May 28th in some other countries. (Other US sources say May 28th is Masturbation Day.) Meanwhile, the current Wikipedia article says with great assurance that Masturbation Day is July 21st. The Wikipedia sources are in no way authoritative: they just assert dates. Thanks to the earlier Wikipedia article, I have May 7th on my calendar as National Masturbation Day, but now I’m all at sea. The 7th, the 14th, the 28th, or July 21st? And why? Why, in fact, May for the Month?


Faces follow-up 1: Master Beckford

April 28, 2017

Following up on my “Faces” posting earlier today (on the Rose Gangloff Curates Portraiture exhibition at Stanford’s Cantor Arts Center), while I pursue three queries on paintings in the show: a progress report on the painting

Benjamin West, “Pinkie” (Master Beckford), c. 1797-99

A photo of the painting, courtesy of the Cantor staff:


I was especially taken by the painting because of its formal composition (the lines of organization established by the boy’s gaze, the alignment of his body, and the placement of the two dogs), the voluptuousness of the fabrics in contrast to the rough background, and the apparent allusion to Thomas Lawrence’s 1794 portrait of Sarah Barrett Moulton, known familiarly as “Pinkie” and now invariably paired with Thomas Gainsborough’s 1779 portrait The Blue Boy (but maybe its customary name just alludes to the pink color of the boy’s clothes).

The puzzle is the historical background of the painting. William T. Beckford was one of West’s main patrons (King George III was the other major one), and he was a fabulous eccentric on several fronts, one being that he was a nut about family. He commissioned several portraits of his ancestors from West, but I’ve found no mention of this one, which might be an imagined portrait of Beckford himself as a boy. (Beckford had two daughters but no sons, so the obvious interpretation is out of the question.)

So: down the West / Beckford / Gainsborough rabbit-hole, which will take us to Swarthmore College, the Huntington Library in San Marino CA, architectural follies, same-sex sexual shenanigans in the late 18th century (anticipating Oscar Wilde and Bosie by a hundred years), early Gothic novels and the fashion for the picturesque and grotesque (anticipating Bram Stoker’s Dracula by a hundred years, but Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein by only a bit), modern gay porn magazines, and more.


rest stop

April 21, 2017

(A posting on the compound rest stop is inevitably going to take us into the world of mansex, so this posting will, eventually, be way out of bounds for kids and the sexually modest.)

The morning name on the 19th, which led me immediately to other rest compounds: rest area and restroom.




There are the signs. What do we expect at the places the signs direct us to?


Chub and chums in the morning

April 17, 2017

Yesterday’s morning name was chub (the name of a fish), which led me to the rest of the bilabial-final family: chum, chump, and chup. (And that led to the velar-final family chug, Chung, chunk, chuck, but I won’t pursue that one here.) As it is, the bilabials will lead us into many surprising places, including the Hardy Boys books, eyewear retainers, Australian dog food, gay slurs, and hunky underwear models.


The news for penises: Wanksy

April 10, 2017

This is old news, but (I think) evergreen, about the graffiti artist who styles himself as Wanksy (wank + Banksy: on masturbatory wank, see this posting; Banksy is the celebrated British graffiti artist) and identifies himself as a “road artist” — someone whose canvas is the roads of greater Mancherster (England), where he uses yellow chalk to create cartoon penises around potholes. A simple example:



The trophy boys park the beef bus in tuches town

April 9, 2017

(The title tells the story. Racy topic, unquestionably alluding to hard-core mansex, but indirectly and playfully. Use your judgment.)

The Steam Room Stories video that came by me yesterday morning: “Trophy Boys”, in which two good-looking, ripped gay men complain about being treated as pieces of meat, as just their bulging muscles and big dicks. There are several twists in this short scene (which you can watch here), but here I’m going to focus on the title and on one of the men’s complaints about the men who pick him up as their trophy boy:

It’s dinner, drinks, and back to their place to park the beef bus in tuches town.

(referring to insertive anal intercourse). Playful alliteration in beef bus and tuches town, — the characters in SRS are given to fanciful indirect references to all matters sexual — and then there are the specific items beef, tuches, and of course trophy in trophy boy.



April 8, 2017

(Plain sex talk of several kinds, not for kids or the sexually modest.)

Yesterday’s morning name, and it was clear to me when I woke up that this was the vulgar sexual noun snatch ‘woman’s genitals’. and not the grabbing snatch or the stealing / kidnapping snatch or the weightlifting snatch — but then it turns out they’re all related.


On the road, a/some head

April 3, 2017

(Reference to a dangerous sexual practice, but mostly in the spirt of fun. Use your judgment.)

Today’s alarming Bizarro::


(If you’re puzzled by the odd symbols in the cartoon — Dan Piraro says there are 2 in this strip — see this Page.)

Amidst much silliness about how punctuation saves lives — Let’s eat father and all that — comes this even greater silliness with the road sign STOP AHEAD (conveying that there is a STOP sign ahead on the road), alluding to a bit of language play I first heard as a child:

What’s that on the road ahead? / What’s that on the road — a head?

(or with in rather than on).