(Warning: this posting will immediately descend to crude jokiness on male genitals and masturbation, so it’s not to everyone’s taste)
To celebrate Masturbation Day, today’s notable occasion (in my household, every day is jack-off day, but the celebratory holiday comes around only once a year): the Zwicky Linemaster hose end pressure controller, from a vintage UK ad for aviation supplies (advertised on eBay), with its language repurposed here to cover the fluid pressure of ejaculation (which varies considerably in the male population, while being largely out of conscious control):
(#1) The ad from eBay, for some Zwicky Limited (of Buckinghamshire in southeast England) aircraft equipment, for controlling hose pressure during fueling
Now the fact is that the typical male ejaculation is fairly low in fluid pressure (even if it feels like your body is being turned inside out and you get this fantastic hormone rush); as they say, most guys don’t shoot, they dribble. And that’s fine; nobody’s going to notice unless you’re jacking off, in which case high pressure produces an arc of cum analogous to an arc of piss. Ornamental, quite a show, so it’s highly valued in gay porn (as a display of raw carnal masculinity), though there it often has to be simulated rather than natural, since most guys just can’t achieve it. And if you’re going to come on your partner’s belly or chest or face or in his mouth — all popular sites for this act — you’ll probably get up close and intimate, in which case an energetic dribble will be satisfying as a firehose spray.
I’ve had sexual partners demonstrate the arc of cum thing for me, always after we’ve had some kind of sex together and are just enjoying each other’s bodies and talking intimately in a pleasant post-coital moment. As a kind of parlor trick.
The slogan and logo. In the middle of the Zwicky Limited ad, the company slogan
Get Zwicky into your system!
(with the name Zwicky in the company logo). This is so fine a sentiment that I’ve pulled out this piece of the ad, to use for my own perverted purposes:
(#2) Do not feel threatened; I never went anywhere sexually where I wasn’t welcome, and now I’ve been completely out of play for 20 years, so any getting into systems has to be understood figuratively
No doubt occasions will come up when this slogan is the mot juste.
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