Archive for the ‘Captions’ Category

No whey in hell

March 6, 2017

On Pinterest this morning, along with a bunch of Gary Larson cartoons, this cartoon by Dan Thompson from some time ago:

(#1)

Ingredients: “Little Miss Muffet”; homophony (or near-homophony) of whey and way; the complex AmE idiom no way in hell. Bonus: Anne Taintor.

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Marco Marco teases

March 3, 2017

(Daily Jock guys being seductive.)

Marco Marco teases, with
jock straps, singlets, and briefs

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Family names

March 3, 2017

(Hunky guy in skimpy swinsuits, mildly racy talk. That’s all.)

  (#1)

Born
SwimWear GrabCock,
Of a long-ago line of
Poultry thieves,
In an eccentric
Underwear-oriented
Family, with his
Brother JockStrap and his
Sister SportsBra,

SwimWear traded his natal
Surname in for
GrabBag,
Because it wasn’t necessarily
Sexual, and he liked to
Scratch his balls

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The beautiful immortal

February 23, 2017

Yes, another man in underwear… There will be plain sex talk, too.

The Daily Jocks ad from 2/10:

  (#1)

They looked upon him, found him
Wonderful, fabulous, a mighty man —
Unanimously accepted him as their
Prince everlasting — and
Had him bronzed.

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Coded!

February 23, 2017

(Men’s underwear alert! Premium grade, but still…)

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ReFo and K-Man

February 9, 2017

(#1)

They found one another in the
Sexual swamp, where men go to
Drop their civilized masks and
Embrace their
Animal natures,
Copulate like
Beasts.

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Geometric Joe

February 3, 2017

The most recent Daily Jocks ad, with a caption sexual fantasy from me:

(#1)

You can buy him,
One trick a month – the
Standard hour, providing
Whatever you need –
And with a rock-bottom
Starter price of $10, the

Catch is that the price
Doubles every month. On
Month six his hour costs you a
Steep $320, but he’s
Worth it, though when the
Annual contract

Runs out in
Month 12,
You’ll be getting
$40,960 sex —
Better be
Best there is.

That’s the fantasy. Then there’s the real world, in which I tried to identify the model in #1.

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Ex ūnō plūrēs

December 5, 2016

(From my back files, a Daily Jocks sex-drenched N2N ad from June 21st, with my caption. Negligible linguistics.)

(#1)

Just
Studio Groove
Briefs in Coral,
He thought

But
The briefs
Multiplexed him

And
Then he was
Two … four … eight!,
Intoxicatingly manifold

Still
Multiply alone,
Longing for
Hot boys in
Neon pink

Nothings

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The superb object of his attention

November 17, 2016

(Hunky guy in underwear, somewhat suggestive caption, nothing to frighten the horses. But in case this isn’t what you want to see …)

The Daily Jocks ad from the 14th, with a caption added by me:

By himself in the
Darkened rainbow
Sex room,
Cromo reflected on the
Secret of his
Crotch, found it was a
Flash piece of
Top-notch meat.

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Trisyllabic feet in tetrametrical orgy

November 14, 2016

(An assortment of linguistic points along the way, but a lot of stuff about the gay porn flick BuckleRoos (2004), with explicit discussion of men’s bodies and male-male sex, plus images at the borderline — seven definitely over the line are on AZBlog X, in a posting entitled “Watching the BuckleBoys” — so not for kids or the sexually modest.)

My Saturday morning playtime viewing was this favorite video — 2 discs, plus a 2005 documentary about its creation, eXposed: The Making of a Legend — which moved me to write a metered (but not rhyming) caption for one scene in the flick: part 2, scene 2, involving a rancher and two Mormon missionaries:

Late-breaking news in the
Beefland Raunch Bulletin:

Cowboy Screws Mormon
On Park Picnic Tabletop

Any guy with the buckle is magically hot;
He can take what he wants, not a man can resist.

Both the boys on the mission know nothing of sex,
But ol’ Jed leads the way to ecstatic abandon.

Now he’s fucking a boy on the top of a bench;
We are watching a Mormon get screwed by a rancher.

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