Archive for the ‘Silliness’ Category

The Weaponized Cat

August 23, 2023

Very briefly noted: this photo on Facebook today from Dan Edmonds (but not of him, and he doesn’t know where he got it):


A guy wielding a Karabiner 98k Mauser rifle

In its kitten release, a dangerously hair-trigger firearm. But famously effective at ridding barns of mice.

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Annals of error: the carptenters of Southwest Ohio

August 18, 2023

A typo in writing — CARPTENTER, with an anticipation of the T in CARPENTER — which was then not caught by a proofreader, so that it got published looking like CARP-TENTER ‘someone or something for tenting carp’, but written solid. Exposed by Michael Palmer on Facebook on 8/15. The published display, with the beginning of the accompanying news article:


US Senator Sherrod Brown August 15 at 11:09 AM: Today our Butch Lewis Act saved the pensions of 5,400 carpenters in Southwest Ohio, restoring full benefits with NO cuts. When work has dignity, workers can take comfort that the pensions they’ve earned over a lifetime will be there for them when they retire

And then, of course, the playful Facebook comments, starting with Michael Palmer’s initial salvo:

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Mi okapi es su okapi

August 12, 2022

From Bert Vaux on Facebook on 8/10, one in a series of digitally altered artworks:


(#1) [BV caption:] “renaissance portrait of herd of okapis with king’s college cambridge in background, digital art”

My FB response: I’m just fond of okapis. We need more okapi art.

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Tell me, stranger, of your high-end “”

October 25, 2021

Briefly, and without any photos, about the latest baffling offer to share the resources of this blog, in exchange for something or other. Previously in this vein: my 9/14/21 posting “May I use you?:

More adventures in blogging, this time in dealing with correspondents who want to use my blog for some purpose of their own, in exchange for something; the nature of these proposed deals is usually unclear to me

And then today, mail from FN LN, with the header:

Collaboration with Arnoldzwicky?

Here at the colossus of content that is Arnoldzwicky, our sharp feral ears, tuned to detect bullshit, tingled with suspicion. Which was then amply confirmed by the body of the message:

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Bang!

September 29, 2021

(Men’s bodies and sex between men, sometimes in street language, so not for kids or the sexually modest)

Back in July, I started a piece that combined the celebrations of the Fourth of July in my country and a personal celebration on having an award for LGBTQ+ linguists named after me. The two parts of the piece take off from the same introductory material, a Falcon Big Bang 2021 sale ad (reproduced below).

Alas, the rigors of these pandemic times and of the twilight of my life being what they are, I wasn’t able to finish the first part of this posting, the Arnold Zwicky Award part, until 9/21. Now comes the second, the vulgar slang bang ‘to have sex’, part.

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Briefly noted: famous or heinous?

August 30, 2021

Caught in passing on tv, a reference to heinous crimes in which the /h/ of /hénəs/ was so brief that the pronunciation came very close to /énəs krájmz/ anus crimes. I reflected for a moment on what those might be, passing over the obvious and distressing possibility ‘anal rapes’ to consider merely improper alternatives, like farting in public, or crimes that were only figurative, like anal bleaching, that crime against fashion.

But then my attention was caught by the rhyming phrase heinous anus, and I fell into musings about meanings for the expression — see below — until Famous Amos hit me (notes on Wally and his celebrated cookies further below). Oh my, now I had

the Famous Amos heinous anus

and my day was complete.

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Kiss my nuts, Sunny!

August 26, 2021

(There will be man-man sexual acts, frivolously though accurately described, so probably not suitable for kids or the sexually modest.)

From Alex Elliott on Facebook this morning: the bag of cherries, with an illustrated ad on it, plus Alex’s comment:


(#1) AE: This bag of cherries has one of the most unsettling commercial illustrations I think I’ve ever seen.

Ah, naughty nutkissing (aka ballkissing), which rapidly leads the practitioner into the abominable vice of nutsucking (more commonly called ballsucking). In any case, lips and testicles are (symbolically) involved in a way you don’t expect in a grocery store.

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It’s a metaphor, son!

January 21, 2020

On Facebook recently, this supermarket snap, presumably from a store in Quebec, with a notable offering highlighted:


(#1) Five parts to the labeling: the name of the product in French (ailes de lapin); the name of the company (Canabec, a Quebec distributor of game — gibiers — and exotic meats; cf. elsewhere Plaisirs Gastronomiques, a Quebec company offering gourmet food, and Gaspésien, another Quebec fine food company); the name of the product in English (rabbit wings); the weight (in grams); and the price (in C$ / CA$ / CAD)

Much FB merriment over ailes de lapin ‘rabbit wings’, to which I responded:

Um, these are rabbit legs, right? Metaphorical? They resemble chicken wings and can be cooked in all the same ways. (Chinese rabbit wings are yummy.) M. Lapin: “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! for then I would fly away, and be at rest.” (Psalm 55) — later adding: “Oh, that I had wings like a rabbit! for then I would bound away, and be at rest.”

It’s a metaphor, son! A metaphor! Apparently one that is dead in Quebec, and so unremarkable in Quebecois — cf. Fr chauve-souris ‘bat’ (lit. ‘bald mouse’), Engl head of lettuce (where are its eyes and mouth?), and other dead metaphors that become entertaining when you attempt to breathe life back into them.

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Theophilus

August 20, 2019

From Jeff Shaumeyer on Facebook on the 18th:

(#1)

We were a little surprised to notice that the logo for the Hotel Amadeus is a portrait of George Washington. Rome, Italy. 20171028

I replied:

Ah, that’s George Amadeus Washington, an Italian con man who made a career of passing himself off as the Father of the U.S.A. and, incidentally, the composer of The Magic Flute.

Jeff:

That’s good to know! My knowledge of history is so spotty.

And then Rod Williams in high mischief mode:

Didn’t he write that opera, Il ciliegio bugiardo?

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The ballet of Mango Meshman

May 24, 2019

(Mango Meshman shows off his body, to the accompaniment of mansexually suggestive lyrics. Not for everyone.)

(#1)

The beauty of his buttocks
And the juicy sweetness
Of his secret parts

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