Masturbation

masturbation postings, some about the practices, some about the vocabulary

1/26/10: What’s P YOUR N?
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2010/01/26/whats-p-your-n/
the Fleshjack masturbation sleeve

2/7/10: The meta-euphemism:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2010/02/07/the-meta-euphemism/
verbing the noun

7/26/10: Notes: euphemisms 7/26/10:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2010/07/26/notes-euphemisms-72610/

gay porn flicks are a species of functional art, the specific function being to serve as a masturbatory aid (as the video equivalent of “one-handed literature”, or “boner books”) by aiding arousal, so that a gay porn film has served its purpose when the viewer ejaculates (somewhere during the course of the action, not necessarily at the very end; the films are, after all, intended to provide a number of occasions for viewer fulfillment, a number of “happy endings”, every 10-15 minutes)

1/3/11: Metaphorical circle jerks:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2011/01/03/metaphorical-circle-jerks/
actual circle jerks (showing off in front of other males and reinforcing each other’s arousal); as worthless, unproductive activity; deprecated mutual admiration or influence or reciprocal activity

1/4/11: David Rakoff on commercial portmanteaus
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2011/01/04/david-rakoff-on-commercial-portmanteaus/
Rakoff description of Nicholas Cage masturbating; dribbling raher than spraying; masturbation as a trope for useless and unproductive activity.

2/7/12: monkey-spank:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2012/02/07/monkey-spank/
the masturbatory slang

7/27/12: Ask Emma Grice:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2012/07/27/ask-emma-grice/
“Ask Emma” column on what a woman should do about a husband masturbating in the bathroom

10/10/12: Andy Singer:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2012/10/10/andy-singer/
[cartoon] incorporates a powerful cultural prejudice against masturbation (on the grounds that it’s non-procreative sex, and therefore unproductive, wasted effort — and, if you adhere to certain religious beliefs, against God’s law)

2/19/13: wank:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2013/02/19/wank/
noun and verb

3/10/13: More sexual terminology:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2013/03/10/more-sexual-terminology/
masturbation used to achieve external ejaculation in porn

3/24/13: Cyanide and Happiness roundup:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2013/03/24/cyanide-and-happiness-roundup/
positions for masturbation, hand used for it

5/12/13: Pub(l)ic notice:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2013/05/12/public-notice/
warning against masturbation in the showers at UMass Amherst

5/13/13: Annals of ejaculation:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2013/05/13/annals-of-ejaculation/
volume of ejaculate; college practice of masturbation

6/2/13 : A holiday I missed:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2013/06/02/a-holiday-i-missed/
National Masturbation Month (May) and Day (May 7th); attitudes about masturbation

9/28/13: X job:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2013/09/28/x-job/
hand job

8/25/14: Cowboy rub:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2014/08/25/cowboy-rub/
masturbatory rub

9/10/14: Further annals of sexual slang:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2014/09/10/further-annals-of-sexual-slang/
fap(p) ‘to masturbate furiously’

12/29/14: Santa jack:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2014/12/29/santa-jack/
section on masturbatory verbs and their syntax

3/8/15: Bromancing the Bone:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2015/03/08/bromancing-the-bone/
batebuds, buddies in masturbation — either jacking off together or jacking each other off

4/20/15: On the double entendre watch:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2015/04/20/on-the-double-entendre-watch/
slang pull and rub for ‘masturbate’

4/30/16: The masturbation sleeve:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2016/04/30/the-masturbation-sleeve/
the Accu-Jac / Accujac, the electrically-operated male masturbation device; Prince and jacking off; other masturbation devices

5/13/16: stroke:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2016/05/13/stroke/
masturbation and its vocabulary; masturbation sleeves

6/13/16: Rainbows and b8r bate:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2016/06/13/rainbows-and-b8r-bait/
the Tumblr site “hairyb8r’s bate fuel”, devoted to hairy men masturbating

3/24/17: Hand jobs:
http://arnold-x-zwicky.livejournal.com/138866.html

3/24/17: The invention of the X job:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2017/03/24/the-invention-of-the-x-job/
taking off from the idea that the hand job was an invention

5/13/17: Months and days:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2017/05/13/months-and-days/
why May for National Masturbation Month?

6/12/17: Anniversaries: 50, 55, and more:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2017/06/12/anniversaries-50-55-and-more/

The story of Nora masturbating James makes Bloomsday a candidate for an official day to celebrate masturbating someone else (Rub-Off Day? Rubbing Day? Stroking Day? Finger-Loving Day?).

3/11/17: hyperbaton, hypermasturbation:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2017/03/11/hyperbaton-hypermasturbation/

hypermasturbation is frequent masturbation that disrupts daily functioning. Not just frequent masturbation, but masturbation that actually gets in the way of your daily life. I stress this as a general proponent of masturbation and as someone who this January revived my old standard New Year resolution, to masturbate more often: regular stroke breaks are good for the spirit and good for the body. Especially if you lead a solitary life.
… a remarkable Tumblr site, depicting HyperNexus Men, comic-like art showing absolutely gigantic male genitals (far beyond the exaggerations of Tom of Finland). I’ve assembled eight of these in a posting on AZBlogX

7/2/17: The patriotic fig leaf:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2017/07/02/the-patriotic-fig-leaf/
cumrag ‘piece of fabric used by a male to clean semen from himself after masturbation’

5/1/19: Here we come a-frankerin’:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2019/05/01/here-we-come-a-frankerin/
BrE slang tosser ‘a person who masturbates’, general term of abuse, like wanker

5/7/19: It’s come round again:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2019/05/07/its-come-around-again/
National Masturbation Day and Month; chirosexuality; movie comedies featuring masturbation

1/28/20: Humongous tops Adonis:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2020/01/28/humongous-tops-adonis/
jacking off as recreation, as an action for pleasure; and gay porn as an aid to the practice

5/29/20: Josh Rider bakes raw:
https://arnold-x-zwicky.livejournal.com/158904.html
NakedSword’s Naked Baking, with a jack-off finale

5/29/20: Masturbation May finale: the naked brownies:
https://arnoldzwicky.org/2020/05/29/masturbation-may-finale-the-naked-brownies/
regular-blog version of the preceding


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