Archive for December, 2023

The 7th day of Christmas

December 31, 2023

That would be today, December 31st, New Year’s Eve. (The 12 days then go on to January 5th, Twelfth Night, Epiphany Eve.) Back on the 4th day, December 28th, my mail brought me a digital-art celebration of the 1st day. (For a change, not from the hands of digital artist Vadim Temkin, who’s off in Colombia, the gem of South America, being an absolutely adorable Santa Claus, but from another of my digital-artist friends.) For the occasion, a partridge of sorts in a pear tree of sorts, and — in the tradition of VT’s holiday compositions for me — starring a fabulously hot object of gay sexual desire.


(#1) For the record, what catches me in the bot boy (call him Primo, the first of the season): in order, his sweet smile, then his nicely furred torso, and then the crotch tease contrived by the artist

All three components — Primo; the plump beakbird; and the golden hanging fruits — have that air of hyper-reality that I find especially desirable in digital compositions; not trompe-l’oeil, but a kind of magic realism.

The pears aren’t actually metallically shiny, but they tend that way. The partridge is even odder: round and full, like the grey, or English, partridge, but with the eyes and beak of an auk, a parrot, a gull. For comparison:


(#2) The grey partridge, Perdix perdix, a plump gamebird in the pheasant family; note the beak (photo: Cornell eBird files)

Is the partridge in #1, perhaps, a New Zealand flightless partridge that has managed to perch precariously in the pear tree? Some sort of aukridge? (I have inquired of the artist, but they haven’t risen to the bait.)

Bunny and Bear run through the 12 days. Meanwhile, as I struggled with a mounting stream of material to post that people have been sending me — I might never get out from under — friends were re-posting Liz Climo’s charming cartoon versions of the Twelve Days of Christmas, all done by her characters Bunny and Bear. (On these cartoons, see my 12/12/22 posting “Two Liz Climo cartoons”.) For the 1st day, and then today, the 7th:

(#3)

(#4)

 

Winter flowers

December 31, 2023

🐅 🐅 🐅 tigers for ultimate December, New Year’s Eve, and the winter flowers are well advanced at my house. (No photos, alas; I no longer have any way to take photos or anyone to take them for me.)

Outdoors. I have already written about the rogue yellow cymbidium that got confused about the seasons and sent up a flower stalk around Halloween and was blooming splendidly in early December, a full month early. (See my 12/13 posting “The rogue orchid”.) Now one of its clones is opening up, to greet the new year, as is customary. (This yellow cultivar is always the first of my many cymbidiums to bloom; there are maybe a dozen flower stalks up — they’re often hard to see until the get quite tall — but their buds won’t open for a month or two. And then there will be orchids in many colors, until the summer heat arrives.)

Indoors. Astonishingly, one of the waxed amaryllises — the all-white cultivar Grateful Heart — that Kathryn Burlingham sent me early in December (see my 12/3 posting “Waxed amaryllis”) didn’t behave according to predictions and, rather than glacially growing its leaves until, after a month or so, a flower stalk would appear, to bring flowers in time for Easter, Grateful Heart immediately sent up a flower stalk which grew visibly by the day (plant growth can sometimes be a scary thing) and opened its first bloom (of four) on the 29th, the second today. What an extraordinary gift of beauty in a dark cold time, as I face with dread what 2024 will offer.

 

The Maltese fresco

December 30, 2023

Encountered on Pinterest yesterday, a reproduction of this painting, identified there as a “Pompeian fresco” (and attributed to the painter Filippo Venuti) from the Palazzo Paradisio (a site I didn’t recognize, but it turns out to be a lavish palace on Malta). The central figure is clearly that of the winged Roman god Mercury, steering a small winged boat across the sea. (I don’t recognize the flag the boat is flying.) At the prow of the boat, a female figure, apparently in despair, languishes precariously.

This would presumably be Mercury in his role as the guide taking the souls of the newly dead to the underworld; as for the woman, if she’s meant to be some specific character from Roman mythology, I don’t recognize her. But the composition is all about Mercury.


(#1) And who would have thought Mercury was such a stud? — with the face of a handsome young modern Italian man, the body of a muscle-hunk, and just barely concealed genitals

Ah, this is a modern work, painted in the first decade of the 20th century: a “Pompeian fresco” only in the sense that it’s in the style of the frescoes at Pompeii (near Naples; ancient Pompeii was destroyed in 79 CE by an eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, but the volcanic ash preserved an extraordinary record of both the art and the everyday life of the city). A modern work, painted about 2,000 years after Pompeii went under, on the island of Malta, about 345 miles by air from Naples.

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The internatal days

December 29, 2023

My coinage (using the medical adjective internatal ‘between births’) for the period between the birth of Jesus (conventionally celebrated on December 25th) and the birth of the Gregorian-calendar New Year (January 1st). There’s no standard term in English for this period, though Twixmas (not recognized in any lexicography-based dictionary) has been used in some commercial settings, apparently to refer to a new shopping season; it seems to be commonly limited to December 27th – 30th (excluding Boxing Day).

Now, in the New Yorker‘s January 1 & 8, 2024, issue, cartoonist Emily Flake has contributed a graphic essay entitled “Tips for Filling the Dead Week Between Christmas and New Year’s”, in which she falls back on referring to this often aimless period as a dead week, a week out of ordinary life. Her suggestions largely embrace this deadness, in its various forms. Meanwhile, if you look at the media’s preoccupations this week, you’ll been inclined to think of it as the days of retrospection, since the media are much taken with reviews of the news events of the year that’s winding down, memorials to the notable people who died during the year, and catalogues of the Best of the Year in many categories (books, movies, tv shows, songs, whatever).

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The power of a tiny prick

December 28, 2023

(Vast amounts of penis-talk, and frank discussion of sexual acts, so not for kids or the sexually modest.)

Appearing in the last few days, a spot tv commercial for Roman — or Ro, or ro — generic ED (erectile dysfunction) medication. It goes by very fast, but involves the administration of some medication with a needle, accompanied by a breathless voiceover, approximately:

Who would have thought that a little tiny prick could be so powerful?

I’m sure about little tiny prick / tiny little prick; in the sociosexual culture that surrounds me (in which big dicks are highly valued), my dick (which is on the lower end of normal) is pegged, sometimes contemptuously, as small (I’m happy with it, and I have some fans, but I’m understandably a bit sensitive on this point); and, in addition, like most men of my advanced age, I’m erectilely dysfunctional — hardonless — and have been for about 20 years, something I’m not particularly sensitive about (since during this time all my sex has been solitary, and there’s been a hell of a lot of it — one to three times a day, prompted by my fantasies, my dick gets a bit firm, my balls get tight, and I shoot, whoopee, like Billy the Kid) — and I wouldn’t want to add a powerful drug to the roughly 20 medications I’m taking now (but I appreciate that other guys might be anxious to get it up to please their partners and ashamed when they can’t, so ED medication is a wonderful thing at the personal level, and also to be applauded as a genuine social good).

But the commercial, with its obtrusive crude pun — prick, vulgar slang for ‘penis’ and for ‘contemptible man’ — on prick ‘a piercing, puncture’, what about the commercial?

The ads for Roman products that I’d experienced up to this one had all been serious, comforting, and reassuring, offering treatments for premature ejaculation, hair loss, and more, as well as for hardonlessness. But this one had to be a joke, one that Adweek hadn’t yet gotten around to reporting on.

Well, it wouldn’t be Roman’s first ED joke ad. There’s their 2017 number “Thinly Veiled Metaphors”. It’s a hoot.

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Have you no sense of decency?

December 27, 2023

(Well, deeply raunchy, but in its own way, also profoundly silly. Still, not for kids or the sexually modest. These people have no modesty, and they sell things many of you have never imagined.)

No, sir, not a shred of decency, not at holiday time in the world of homocommerce, where no raunchy pun, no matter how outrageous, is out of bounds. How to sell gay sex toys in the dead of winter? Have a sale for the Winter Hole-stice! I give you the Fort Troff Winter Hole-stice Event, advertised in my e-mail this morning:

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Gorgeous

December 27, 2023

Gorgeous, sensuous men and glamorous, decadent women, in the drawings of Mel Odom (born 9/2/50), sampled recently on Pinterest (whose bots have divined some of my tastes) — but especially, men in the Odom brand of homomasculinity: queer, perverse, beautiful. Odom explicitly recognizes the erotic art of Aubrey Beardsley as an antecedent and counterposes his soft-edged homomasculinity to a harder-edged variety in homoerotic physique magazines, and, ultimately, in the hypermuscular, hypersexual drawings of ToF, sometimes characterizing himself as the anti-Tom of Finland.

I start with an Artforum April 2019 review by Alex Jovanovich of Odom’s “Gorgeous” solo exhibition at Daniel Cooney Fine Art (in the Chelsea neighborhood of NYC), 1/10 to 2/23 in 2019:

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Randy elves, coming in Latin, and a Korean feast

December 26, 2023

(The randy elves of 12/22/23 are engaged in 3-way man-on-man sex, described here by its makers in street language, so this part of the program is unsuitable for kids and the sexually modest (IF THAT’S YOU: DO NOT READ); the rest of it is about a variety of seasonal customs, some of them off-beat but none requiring policing (PLEASE READ AND ENJOY))

In my title: highlights of the first day of the three-day run-up to Christmas 2023.

Each day provides two occasions to celebrate:

— 12/22/23: CAYF (the gay porn movie Cum All Ye Faithful) climax day, with that Christmas-elf 3-way sex as the centerpiece of the final scene in the movie and the title of the movie distantly connected to the Christmas carol in Latin, Adeste Fideles; and Festoonus (celebrated at my house with that Korean feast)

— 12/23/23: Last day of Saturnalia; and Festivus

— 12/24/23: Fourth Sunday of Advent; and Christmas Eve (finally, two well-known holidays — though how Christmas Eve is celebrated varies enormously)

Notes on the first two days, on which fall four occasions of minor rank (at least in the modern world).

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The number of our years

December 25, 2023

A Facebook exchange today between Vadim Temkin and me, on biblical spans of life (among other things):

— AZ > VT [reacting to the news that the upcoming year in the 12-year cycle of the lunar calendar is a Year of the Dragon] I am in fact a dragon, born in the dragon year 1940 [so I’m 83 years old; this is signficant below].

— VT > AZ:  You are a veritable menagerie: penguin, wooly mammoth, and a dragon as well! Here is for the other 12 years, and while we are at it, let’s wish for a traditional Jewish 120!

— AZ > VT: [about my animal identities] Oh, and for a brief period, an aardvark (Zot, from the B.C. comic).

[about the 120-year span of life] I cannot, alas, quote from the Torah; but I know how it came out very much later in the KJV (I’m a nonbeliever, but the Lutherans and the Episcopalians gave me a good religious education): his days shall be a hundred and twenty years (Genesis 6:3). But then there’s a contraction from the times of Genesis to those of the Psalms (Psalm 90: The days of our years are threescore years and ten). 70 years, maybe 80 if we’re strong.

Whoops, my boat is already sailing to the underworld (I picked up some Greco-Roman myth stuff too).

Ride the wild Santa dragon

December 25, 2023

Vadim Temkin’s digital art on Facebook for Christmas 2023, (Gregorian-calendar) New Year 2024, and lunar New Year 2024:


[Vadim’s greeting:] Merry Xmas and Happy New Year of Dragon!

Since this is Vadim’s composition, Santa Claus is a shirtless muscle-hunk: not only jolly, but also an object of gay desire — not to mention the rider of a fearsome dragon, the tamer of a demonic monster, the vehicle of all-conquering love. This Santa is playfully silly, smoking hot, and truly noble, all at once.

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