Panda postings

Panda postings

(dedicated to my Canadian ailuropod friends, Chris Ambidge and Leith Chu)

Two background notes:

1. pandas, from Wikipedia:

The giant panda (Ailuropoda melanoleuca, literally “black and white cat-foot”), also known as panda bear or simply panda, is a bear native to south central China. It is easily recognized by the large, distinctive black patches around its eyes, over the ears, and across its round body. The name “giant panda” is sometimes used to distinguish it from the unrelated red panda. Though it belongs to the order Carnivora, the giant panda’s diet is over 99% bamboo.

2. Lynne Truss’s bestselling Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation, whose title alludes to a panda joke

from Wikipedia:,_Shoots_%26_Leaves

Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation is a non-fiction book written by Lynne Truss, the former host of BBC Radio 4’s Cutting a Dash programme. In the book, published in 2003, Truss bemoans the state of punctuation in the United Kingdom and the United States and describes how rules are being relaxed in today’s society. Her goal is to remind readers of the importance of punctuation in the English language by mixing humour and instruction.

… The title of the book is a syntactic ambiguity … derived from a joke about bad punctuation:

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.

“Why?” asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

“Well, I’m a panda,” he says. “Look it up.”

The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. “Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.

AMZ postings:

8/15/06: Commas for kids:
Lynne Truss reches down to the kindergarten set (ages 4-8), to put them straight on commas, in Eats, Shoots & Leaves: Why, Commas Really Do Make a Difference!

9/13/09: Labels:
Rhymes With Orangecartoon, in which a panda objects to the label breeding center

5/25/10 Waltzing with Bears:
the song, with the lines: Now he’s dancing with pandas, / And he can’t understand us

6/22/10: Rivers of Babylon:
a Circuit Party collage of mine, with comments from Chinese fortune cookie fortunes (hence the title, “Circuit Fortune Cookie”) plus a lot of Tarepanda (‘floppy panda’ — a cute Japanese cartoon character):

6/2/11: The t-shirt watch:
Bad Panda t-shirt

11/1/11: The coming -ocalypse:
the coming pandocalypse, with unstoppable fire-breathing pandas

2/14/13: A word for it:
parody video showing a panda fellating Hillary Clinton

4/20/13: Liz Climo:
#8 Climo cartoon with a panda killer whale (panda-orca, or pandorca) playing Trick or Treat

5/10/13: More band names:
on-line nicknames Manly Panda and Bitch Bovine

6/1/13: More boys:
the Backstreet Boys with pandas

6/17/13: Who WAS that masked Panda?:
#1 full frontal of a masked panda

8/4/13: Three more cartoons for Sunday:
#1 Bizarro play on the monster film Mothra vs. Godzilla, with King Kong replacing Godzilla, and with the giant moth and the giant gorilla with notably slow-moving creatures, a sloth and a panda, respectively, … [and with new names:] sloth plus Mothra gives Slothrapanda plus King Kong gives Panda Kong.

11/3/13: tarepanda:
the San-X character Tarepanda ‘floppy panda’ (and mochi)

3/2/14: Minimumble:
Minimumble cartoon with language play extracting panda from pandemonium

4/15/15: The panda shirt:
t-shirt of panda in medical gear: “Trust me, I’m a panda”

9/2/15: Scientists at play:
How Animals Have Sex by Gideon Defoe (2005) — “from Giant Panda porn-watching evenings to the often inaccurate firing of love darts from the common garden snail”

9/23/15: Mark Mason, Matt Bauer, and Gay Porn Minus Gay Sex:
Catalina Video gay porn video ”Tales From Two Cities”, with visually X-rated parts replaced by graphics of rainbow pandas (audio untouched)

1/11/17: Characters:
Aggretsuko, Hello Kitty’s angry, death metal-loving red panda friend

7/27/18: Are you my bottom?:
picture book of this name, about a small panda who’s lost his bum

9/17/18: The news for shoes:
Wanda Panda shoes (made in Alicante, Spain); (la) panda ‘gang, crowd, group of friends’ (in European Spanish slang)

9/19/18: Bridge Over the River Kawaii:
Tarepanda for Talk Like a Pirate Day

10/17/18: An ailuropodal moment:
Climo cartoon; creation of this Page

11/4/18: Panda Puffs and Fruity Pandas:
two breakfast cereals

12/26/18: Four presents:
ceramic panda in #8

2/18/19: Three exercises in cartoon understanding:
#1 SDF cartoon

7/20/20: Please don’t eat the flooring:
Jeremy Nguyen cartoon; panda diet

%d bloggers like this: