Archive for the ‘Holidays’ Category

Advances in dildo technology

February 18, 2021

(Yes, it’s going to be about dildos, specifically as used for anal pleasure, still more specifically as used for this purpose by gay men. So there will be talk, in plain language, about male bodyparts and sexual acts, both solo and between men. This posting is then not suitable for kids or the sexually modest.)

The Daily Jocks ad from yesterday (2/17) continues DJ’s exploration of sextoys for men (“Macho Toys”; see my 2/14 posting “Macho toys: the ads”). The mailer came under the header:

Would you take Jake home? 👨🏻

with the main text:

MEET JAKE – 8.5″ UNCUT

Have you ever tried an uncut dildo before? Neither had we until we found Jake. This super lifelike dildo is made from high grade body safe silicone, so real you will barely notice the difference.

Dildos in the form of uncut cocks have been on the market for a while, but what sets Jake apart is that his foreskin is flexible — apparently, a step forward in dildo technology. (Yes, there will be photos.)

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Hello, sailor

February 16, 2021

(This posting is about (real or fictive) sexual encounters between men, sometimes discussed in street language, so it’s not for kids or the sexually modest.)

The Daily Jocks ad from 2/15, under the header:


(#1) With the motor boat emoji (there’s a ferry emoji that might have done the job here, with a bad pun as a bonus)

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Celebrating Valentine’s Day 2: the gay porn actors

February 12, 2021

(This posting — with its depictions of and street-language descriptions of, sex between men — is totally unsuitable for kids or the sexually modest.)

An ad, both very carefully and pleasingly composed and also goofily absurd, for the HUNT eZine gay porn sale for Valentine’s Day 2021, plays on movie clichés of tango or flamenco dancing, in which a red rose (symbolizing sexual passion) is held between the teeth of one of the dancers in a couple, most commonly the woman, but sometimes the man. (Note: roses, of whatever color, between the teeth play no role whatsoever in actual tango and flamenco.)

The ad shows two men who are fucking, not dancing, but the top (exhibiting a fiercely ecstatic facial expression) has a red rose clenched between his teeth, as a symbol of his overwhelming desire for the bottom (whose eyes are closed and whose mouth is half open, in receptive ecstasy):

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Celebrating Valentine’s Day 1: the baleen whales

February 12, 2021

Chacun à son goût on Valentine’s Day. Here’s cartoonist Lars Kenseth’s take on sentimental gift-giving among the baleen whales (from the 2/15&22/21 issue of the New Yorker):


A swarm of krill! How did you know?”

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Is that an American flag in your crotch?

February 6, 2021

(Fit young men wearing nothing but scraps of the American flag pattern, so not for those who are modest about displays of the male body or offended by casual disregard for the flag, but there’s nothing actually raunchy here.)

In the great avalanche of underwear ads that’s been rolling over my Facebook — wretched excess, even for someone with my tastes — there came, this morning, this arresting JockStraps.com ad offering a JOR US flag bikini jockstrap (which looks like a (mini-)brief from the front) — plus one of the model’s armpits):

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Lay, goosie, lay

December 30, 2020

Liz Climo’s cartoon for today, 12/30, the 6th day of Christmas (“Six geese a-laying” — that is, laying eggs):

(#1)

Prescriptively incorrect, but extraordinarily widespread, lay down (in an imperative to the geese to lie down).

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Born on the same day

September 18, 2020

Today is the birthday of my second mother-in-law, Monique Serpette Transue (born 1912). And also of Samuel “Dictionary” Johnson (born 1709). A coincidence of dates that entertains me. When I noted this on Facebook yesterday, Ned Deily wrote:

The interwebz assert that no single word exists, in English at least, to describe people who share the same birthday anniversary. Time to invent one? A lexicographer’s work is never finished.

After a digression on what lexicographers do and another on Samuel Johnson and a note about Gilbert du Motier, the Marquis de Lafayette, I’ll make a stab at coining.

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Mid-autumn memento mori for the times

September 13, 2020

Stephanie Shih’s characterization of a digital still life she recently posted (reproduced here with permission), combining elements from Western and Eastern (especially Chinese) painting traditions and located both in mid-autumn times and in a time when we are surrounded by death in the pandemic:

(#1)

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The post-celebratory day

September 7, 2020

The fourth installment in the story of my 80th birthday. The core of the story:

The day itself was quiet but pleasant (though I refused to go out of the house for any purpose, since it was a goddamn oven out there). Kim Darnell brought me a large assortment of salmon-based sushi, plus a collection of tartlets, mostly with fruit — enough for two substantial meals, the second of which was my breakfast today. Mostly I spent yesterday responding to birthday wishes, of which there were many hundreds. I know an awful lot of people.

A surprising development was that for this birthday I got not one, but three (different) Jacquie Lawson ecards (charming brief animations developing a scene or story, accompanied by music, usually classical music). Details below.

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Celebratory day

September 6, 2020

Today, September 6th, is both National Coffee Ice Cream Day — my favorite flavor — and also Lafayette’s birthday (1757), a most satisfying confluence of occasions. Meanwhile, it has brought me some extraordinarily warming good wishes from people appreciating things I have said and written over the past roughly 60 years, on my own celebratory day. Today I become an old man.

(Is there a ceremony for this? Would I have to do it in Hebrew? That would make it a deeply serious ritual, but totally out of my range, as a lapsed Episcopalian, formerly Lutheran. The Book of Common Prayer, alas, lacks a rite for this occasion. On the other hand, the Lutherans and Anglicans (and many other Christian denominations) have music for it; see below.)

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