Archive for the ‘Phallicity’ Category

Bidding farewell to /ǰæk/

March 17, 2019

(Archive news for penises.)

Brought to me by Pinterest, a striking use of the Union Jack to clothe the model Iman and her husband David Bowie, who is sporting a major jack ‘penis”, ‘erection’ (GDoS: 1989 J. Morton Lowspeak … as in ‘I had a jack up to my eyebrows’). And a Freddy Mercury counterpart, with both the flag and the package.

So, as the UK sails away from the EU, we bid farewell to the striking tricolor British Jack that once flew over an empire and also to the strikingly engorged jacks of British flesh that once held sway over seas of music fans.

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News for penises, French Riviera edition

March 10, 2019

(On a statue, in the middle of a public plaza, so I issue no warning.)

From Matt Adams’s travel journal, this view of the Apollo of Nice:


(#1) Matt, eyeing callipygian Apollo at the Fontaine du Soleil, in the Place Messina in Nice

From the other side:


(#2) Calliphallic Apollo, as he currently presents himself

And behind that there is a tale, of penis reduction surgery in marble.

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Collagen days

March 6, 2019

News for penises. And fingers. And, possibly to come, buttocks.

The larger topic is the line between what counts as normal and what counts as abnormal, diseased, or morbid. Today, the discussion starts with some television commercials for the drug Xiaflex® (from Endo Pharmaceuticals), marketed as a treatment for Peyronie’s Disease.

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Driving it home

February 23, 2019

 

(Simulacrum of a hunky mostly naked, though not actually X-rated, charioteer. Loud gay undertones, and overtones too, but nothing direct about sex. Still, possibly not to your taste.)

Symbological notes on the occasion of a gift from Vadim Temkin: a 2019 calendar using his Gay Tarot of Eons materials, in particular the page for this month, February, with his Chariot card:


(#1) Most obvious phallicity: the spear. Auxiliary phallic symbol: the column. Subtler symbolism: the two horses (testicular symbols, perhaps) rushing onwards, barely controllable (as in an erection — the charioteer as erect penis — rushing towards ejaculation). Crowning symbolism: the Spartan helmet, in an open-faced variant.

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News for penises: notes on phallophilia

February 20, 2019

(This posting will go lots of places, some of which — a Greek military re-enactors’ group in Melbourne — you’ll find astonishing, but there’s no denying that, as the title suggests, it’s penis-dense. Without actually depicting them — those images are in my posting this morning on AZBlogX, “Gay Heart Throbs” — but still. However, without penises strewn along the road every few feet, there’s no getting to the fun stuff (like allusions to Miss Anne Elk and to Sonnets from the Portuguese). So use your judgment.)

Phallophilia I: self-regard. A recent Daily Jocks ad (for Kasper Military shorts from the Helsinki Athletica company) showing a hunky model gazing fixedly down at his bulging crotch, with a title and a caption supplied by me:


(#1) On contemplating his penis

Could I just say here for one moment that
I have a new theory about the penis?
Yes, well you may well ask, what is my theory.
And well you may. Yes my word you may well
Ask what it is, this theory of mine.

Well, this theory that I have — which is mine —
This theory which belongs to me is as follows.
Ahem. Ahem. This is how it goes.
Ahem. The next thing that I am about to say
Is my theory. Ahem. Ready?

My theory is along the following lines.
All penises are round at one end,
Tubular in the middle, and then
Anchored in hair at the far end.

That is the theory that I have
And which is mine, and
What it is too.

— excerpts from an interview with noted penis scholar Gay H. Throbs, DPhS. (Doctor of Phallological Science)

On the nose, GHT!

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News for penises: Bourdain’s Bhutan

December 28, 2018

(The title should be warning enough.)

Earlier today, I reported on Anthony Bourdain in Armenia on Parts Unknown, on this blog in “Yet another Switzerland”. Later in the series Bourdain and film director Darren Aronofsky moved on to Bhutan, in S11 E8 (first aired 6/24/18), where they encountered phalluses as a design element, almost everywhere. They also did a lot of eating and drinking, as here:

(#1)

And, being in a mostly Buddhist country, reflected on their places in the universe. But this is AZBlog, where the News for Penises is a regular feature, so that’s where we’re going. Fire up those phalluses.

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Festoonists

December 22, 2018

(Warning: brief reference to sexual body parts in a caption.)

As I observed yesterday, in the posting “22-festoon!”, today (December 22nd) is the holiday of Festoonus, celebrating “the victory of light over darkness, good over evil, and knowledge over ignorance”, with “elaborate light shows, decorating your bodies, sharing exotic food, dancing, and making public and communal art and music”. Inevitably, there are people who are intensely devoted to, identified with, the holiday. These are the Festoonists.

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Morning at the bottom of the sea

November 25, 2018

Today’s morning name surfaced from the depths of the ocean: benthic, especially in the phrase benthic worm. No, I don’t know why.

(Insert here a note about the salty fellow Benthic Worm, a denizen of the abyssal plain, who bristles at the epithet dirty.)
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News for penises: salt and pepper

November 12, 2018

A bulletin from Coral Gables FL, with penis pepper mills in gorgeous hand-turned wood; and a patriotic phallic (salt/pepper) shaker, standing tall for US Veterans Day (today). Photos under the fold (so the phallically averse among you can avoid engaging with these simulacra)…

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Piñata under the gun

October 15, 2018

(Bonus content: a news bulletin for penises, with two items.)

Today’s Wayno/Piraro combo:


(#1) (If you’re puzzled by the odd symbols in the cartoon — Dan Piraro says there are 5 in this strip — see this Page.)

Simultaneously a boy about to bash a rainbow donkey piñata with a bat — a baseball bat, rather than the usual  piñata-specific stick or bat (illustrated below) — and a military officer about to execute a prisoner by firing squad. So both in the everyday world and in a metaphorical world systematically mapped onto the everyday world.

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