Fresh news for male genitalia, in a Daily Jocks e-mail ad today (5/13): DJX Prime Enhancing Underwear: an instant bulge booster. Provides the illusion of great size, thereby addressing the American male obsession with genital size as an indicator of solid masculinity, power, and consequence (one big dick to rule them all, as the saying goes). Also provides a soft but protective pocket in which a man’s package (of whatever size) can be unconstrained (hang free or peter out, as the slogan goes). And of course it comes in fabulous colors, for the fashion-minded; the ads revel in pink.
First the visuals, then the text. The front view:
(#1) You’re a Big Dick / I can guess … / By the way you dress
And the side view:
(#2) By the way you hang / And by the way you dress
Then the text explains it all:
(#3) A biscuit, a basket / A pink and pouchy rocket / A little guy he stroked it up / And put it in his pocket
In black, white, red, blue, bright blue, and, yes, pink (that is, a few neutral colors, for the cautious, plus actually pretty and flashy colors). In small, medium, large, and x-large. And in brief or jockstrap. For $29US each, with sale prices on multiple orders (“load up, save big”, DJX proclaims).
Yes, I am easily entertained.
May 14, 2026 at 4:08 am |
Some of my raw materials, packed with Americana (Texas, California, New Hampshire):
— the song “Big D” (“You’re from Big D, I can guess”, about Dallas) from the musical The Most Happy Fella [in the whole Napa Valley]
— “Live Free or Die”, the official state motto of New Hampshire
May 14, 2026 at 4:34 am |
More raw materals:
— “One ring to rule them all” (from Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings)
— a nursery rhyme first recorded in the late 19th century: “A-tisket a-tasket / A green and yellow basket / … A little boy he picked it [a dropped letter] up / And put it in his pocket”
May 14, 2026 at 11:11 am |
Have you seen the movie “Gladiator”? I was immediately reminded by your last line of the scene in which Russell Crowe, having knocked over a bunch of lesser gladiators in quick order, shouts to the box seats, “Are you entertained?!”
May 14, 2026 at 11:41 am
For various purposes, I have watched several scenes from the movie, but not the whole thing, and I don’t remember this scene, but that’s a great line — mentally rewritten as “Are you having fun yet?”, though you couldn’t get away with that in a movie that’s supposed to be about gladiators (though it’s actually about mythic masculinity and I’m not supposed to find it funny).