Huge News For Men!

The News for Penises, 1/26/16 edition.

In the February issue of GQ magazine (pp. 80-83, 119), this feature article:

Heavy phallicity from the outset: the symbolic cactus, the U of Huge made into a penis icon (complete with urinary meatus, aka piss slit). The lead-in:

An enterprising L.A. surgeon [James Elist] has invented a silicone penis implant [the Penuma], which, because we’re sure you have a frient who’ll want to know, costs 13 grand and can nearly double your size. Amy Wallace grills the good `doctor on how it works – and asks a few of his satisfied customers (and their mostly satisfied wives) how it’s working. (photos by Andrew B. Myers)

In a box on p. 82, under the heading “The Bionic Manhood”:

It comes in three sizes…: Dr. Elist’s Penuma is a silicone implant that encircles about 80 percent of the shaft, leaving an opening to allow for expansion. The implant adds length, but even more girth.

… and takes less than an hour: After getting stitched up following the 45-minute procedure, patients can get up and walk out of the office. But no sex for three to six months. The Penuma needs time to settle in.

The girth thing is important. A number of women report dissatisfaction with male partners who have long but slender penises — pencil dicks, in the vernacular — which fail to stimulate their clitorises. The Penuma is designed to fix this problem.

It’s also designed to alleviate the feelings of inadequacy (and shame) so many men have about the length of their penises; it’s often been noted that half or more of American men believe that their penises are significantly smaller than average (the mean for erect adult penises is about 5 inches), which of course cannot be an accurate assessment of the situation. Instead, many men judge a penis to be of adequate length only if it is in fact notably long, at least 6 inches (for men in porn, 7 inches or more is the expected length) — so men with entirely average penises judge them to be inadequate, and men looking for male sex partners judge entirely average penises to be unacceptably small in a partner

A note about the GQ approach to these issues, which is socially very conservative. The article talks only about men and their wives, as if men and women have sex with one another only within the bounds of marriage, and as if men don’t have sex with one another. But surely in the real world people in these other sorts of relationships might desire a Penuma for themselves or their partner.

Then there is the fact that the Penuma is a silicone implant, and as with other types of implants, there’s a significant chance of things going wrong: the implants can leak, become unattached, and so on. A number of patients have had their Penumas removed.

Finally, there’s the question of the name. The pen– part is obviously from penis, but I haven’t found an account of where the –uma comes from. From pneuma ‘the vital spirit, soul, or creative force of a person’?

4 Responses to “Huge News For Men!”

  1. Bob Richmond Says:

    This is a perfectly dreadful idea. I hope this errant penis machinist is paying a LOT for malpractice insurance. My malpractice carrier makes me promise I won’t do penis enlargements – which given that I’ve confined my practice to pathology for 52 years is a pretty far-fetched possibility.

  2. Nancy Friedman Says:

    Name origin speculation:

    From the informal meaning of “pneumatic”: having a body with full, pleasing curves (usually said of women, and generally not since c. 1962).

    “Pen” plus “new” is probably relevant, too.

  3. zimpenfish Says:

    A corruption of “pneuma” does seem most likely – maybe there’s a small hint of “penumbra” going on as well?

  4. J.P. Says:

    As I just read the GQ article, I was looking for additional information and stumbled across your blog.
    In all fairness, I felt the article was well written. You criticize that GQ focused on couples only. My question to you would be, who else would be able to give a more accurate before and after comparison?
    You then criticize that a conservative GQ only focused on heterosexual couples when a gay couple, of which “both got the procedure done in the hopes of bettering their relationship,” is included in the article.
    I tend to be cautious when generalized terms are used to to provoke unease/fear. Please tell me exactly how many “a number” is, when you speak of problematic procedures that would lead to complications. No matter, I read the article and exact numbers are given along with specific reasons …including the gentleman who just couldn’t wait for the duration of the healing period before engaging in a sexual act.
    Last, my feeling on the product name is that it probably stems from “pneuma”, a term used by Aristotle. Within your blog you give an accurate definition. I feel the product name is written phonetically, “penuma”, based on how some might pronounce pneuma, while tieing in to how, for many men, penis size encourages empowerment …call it their vital source.

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