Archive for the ‘Phallicity’ Category

Monday male photography: Vallantiro14

July 24, 2023

(Images of the male body as sexual object, with discussion of male genitals and man-on-man sex in street language, so not suitable for kids or the sexually modest)

Beginning the new week with some racy photographic celebrations of the male body from Vallantiro14’s Tumblr site. The first image, Sexy Gardener — of a young man wearing nothing but a fitted white shirt, in the process of watering seedlings in peat pots, viewed from behind so as to display his fine masculine buttocks along with his hairy legs (which promise a hairy chest and hairy forearms, concealed at the moment by the shirt) — came to me from Bill Stewart on 7/20:


(#1) A fine composition, carefully calculated to display the very desirable body of an ordinary guy (not a gym-built model) engaged in useful everyday work (not posing seductively for the viewer)

The fitted shirt shows off his broad shoulders, suggesting the pleasures of his upper body. Meanwhile, his naked buttocks — which are pretty much what the photo is about — peek out from beneath the tail of the shirt. This is what is called, in coarse slang, a hot butt, or in openly dirty talk, a fuckable ass. (As a young man I had such buttocks, often commented on by gay men; my buttocks were then an open announcement of my availability — I just loved getting fucked — and an invitation to guys who wanted to fuck me.)

But the temperature of the photo in #1 is low — just showing, not advertising, though we’re entitled to wonder why this guy is watering seedlings minus his pants.

Well, this is not a photo from everyday life, even a posed one, but a fantasy extension of real life. Vallantiro14 could have given us this photo with the guy in tight shorts that would still display the outlines of his attractive buttocks, but he chose instead to go with the fanciful, putting those buttocks on display.

From Bill Stewart:

title of [Vallantiro14’s blog] blog being “Fashionable”. Lots of pictures, mostly speedos and often in Rio de Janeiro.

That’s where I’m going now. These are hot sexy guys frankly posing seductively, but with their dicks, balls, and asses enclosed in (mostly hot-neon-colored) speedo-style swimsuits, sometimes with visible hard-ons, but always showing off their barely covered dicks and handsome asses. They are also all smooth-bodied and mostly inkless.

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The news for penises: the Penuma

July 7, 2023

(Well, yes, it’s all about penises — with photos, but not of penises, and some plain talk in street language — so not to everyone’s taste, and you should take that into account.)

The background, from my 1/26/16 posting “Huge News For Men!”, reporting on a GQ story. The story’s lead-in:

An enterprising L.A. surgeon [James Elist] has invented a silicone penis implant [the Penuma], which, because we’re sure you have a frient who’ll want to know, costs 13 grand and can nearly double your size. Amy Wallace grills the good doctor on how it works – and asks a few of his satisfied customers (and their mostly satisfied wives) how it’s working.

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Comes in /perz/

July 5, 2023

A very much not-dead-yet posting to hold this space while I cope with an avalanche of posting material, plus my suddenly much improved medical condition (which is totally exhilarating). In any case, an old One Big Happy cartoon (originally from 9/4/14) in which Ruthie asks her defiantly working-class neighbor James to name something that comes in pairs, but James hears the homophone pears (both nouns pronounced /perz/ in my variety of English) and just can’t get shift his perspective:


Note James’s multiply non-standard negative existential construction in his ain’t no shoes

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Rainbow, locked and loaded

June 26, 2023

A brief amusement for Pride Month, from Aric Olnes on Facebook yesterday (SF Pride, which I missed by being really sick):


Aric says: Happy 🏳️‍🌈 Pride 2023: Sending you a picture of our dear SF go-go Dancer Emerson to celebrate. Rainbow 🌈 undies!!

With, yes, a doubly phallic gun: basic gun phallicity, plus that gigantic penis simulacrum on top.

Yes, the undie colors are odd, but you really came for the ass, and the briefs are but window dressing.

Puer mingens at the Prenup Pub

May 27, 2023

(warning: packed with allusions to, and sculptures of, playful cherubic penises, so subject to both the Art and the Infant exemptions from the X-rating of human penises (even those — or, maybe, especially those — that are in the midst of relieving themselves), but, still, not to everyone’s tastes)

It starts with the Peruvian Ernesto Cuba being touristic in Toronto, where, at the Prenup Pub (191 College St.), he encountered this whizzard in white, which he dubbed mojando la garganta ‘drenching the throat’:


(#1) From the Beer Advocate site: Tripel Karmeliet [‘Tripel Carmelite’] is a Tripel style beer [a strong pale ale; the origin of the name is unknown] brewed by Brouwerij Bosteels in Buggenhout, Belgium

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Sausage juice

May 27, 2023

(this posting descends fairy rapidly to discussions of the male genitals, and of man-man sex, in street language, so it’s not for kids or the sexually modest)

From Michael Palmer on Facebook yesterday, this memic marriage of image — smiling man holding a small can of vienna sausage (tipped to suggest he’s about to drink from it — and text — snarkiness about sausage juice:


(#1) As with so much memic material, the ultimate sources of the image, of the text, and of their conjunction are all unknown

From NOAD:

compound noun Vienna sausage [AZ: sometimes vienna sausage]: a small frankfurter made of pork, beef, or veal.

Now: some notes on the disgust factor here; and then on the compound noun sausage juice ‘semen’ (based on viewing sausages — and all sorts of Würste — as phallic symbols, leading to sausage as slang for ‘penis, dick’); and on to the attested compound sausage jockey ‘male homosexual’ (imagined demurral: “No chicks for me, dude, I’m a sausage jockey”) and the entertaining potential compound sausage jockey ‘man who enjoys the rider role in Cowboy-position anal sex’.

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Street Life

May 21, 2023

A just-installed photo gallery on the wall above the desk in the study of my condo. An addition to the visual density of the place, providing enjoyment for me, but also intended to absorb and please friends and visitors (I am a deeply sociable person, and I like to entertain, in several senses.)

About Street Life. A display of six sex-tinged (but not actually X-rated) photos of men on the street (from Samson McGee, who maintains a gigantic library of malesex photos for sale), each with a fortune from a fortune cookie. I have given them titles and ordered them below in a kind of natural progression; here with the fortunes:

— Soon Paid Off: street hustler, iconic and tough; All of your hard work will soon be paid off.

— Performance over Speed: street hustler, not at all toughened up yet; People forget how fast you did a job — but they remember how well you did it.

— Time Not Money: two sailors, possibly cruising, maybe even hustling; A friend asks only for your time and not money.

— Offer Affection and a Sea-going Hard-On: two sailors strolling, one with a hard-on; Love is being offered to you, be affectionate in return!

— Offer Affection and an Unbuttoned Hard-On: two guys talking on the street, one with a hard-on and his fly open; [once again] Love is being offered to you, be affectionate in return!

— Fish Sticks and Moose Knuckles: two guys talking on the street  in front of a shop selling fish sticks (one sporting a tremendous moose-knuckle); Every wise man started out by asking many questions.

Once again, I would like to give you a photo of the display, but I have to wait until I can get someone to take a picture for me.

The visual density of my environment. First there are the books — in the big main room, the study, and the bedroom. Mostly a deeply random collection of things saved from the dispersal of my 40,000-volume professional library, though there are some coherent subcollections. But possibly worth scanning: I doubt that there’s anyone else in the world with this collection of titles, so you might find some surprises.

Then on almost every remaining horizontal surface, collections of objects — remarkable, pretty, funny, sexy, artfully made, full of affectionate associations. Gay symbols, penguins, mammoths, phallic symbols. In the heavily X-rated bedroom, representations of dicks, simulacra of dicks, creatures with bodyparts in the shape of dicks, and so on.

And on almost every available vertical surface, artworks, cartoons, collages, Zwicky images, postcards (men, animals, food, whatever), and photographs, both family photographs  and hot guys. In the heavily X-rated bedroom, a huge assortment of my XXX-rated homoerotic comic collages.

Much here to amuse the eye and engage the mind. Come visit sometime.

 

 

This year’s wiener on wheels

May 19, 2023

Coming on the heels of my 5/18 posting “A fellatio-adjacent pitch for The Wiener the World Awaited”, Oscar Mayer’s heralding their new wiener on wheels, the Frankmobile. Here’s the story from the Out Traveler website (for Out magazine), “Say Goodbye to America’s Favorite Wiener on Wheels: The unexpected move is part of the rollout of Oscar Mayer’s beefy new hot dog recipe” by  Jordan Valinsky of CNN Business on 5/17:


(#1) THE ALL BEEF BEEF FRANK FRANKMOBILE, that’s what it says on the label

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A fellatio-adjacent pitch for The Wiener the World Awaited

May 18, 2023

(This posting will quickly move to men’s genitals and various sexual acts, described in street language, so it’s not appropriate for kids or the sexually modest)

Passed along today on Facebook by Michael Palmer, this wonderfully fellatio-adjacent pitch (dating from, I would guess, the 1950s) from Kahn’s, with the slogan “The wiener the world awaited”:

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All the world is new again

May 1, 2023

🐇 🐇 🐇 for the first of May — not only beginning a new month, but also (among other things) celebrating the rebirth of life, and embracing the raw carnality of the season. This is the immediate follow-up to yesterday’s Walpurgis Eve, as described in my posting “Lord, preserve us from the witches”.

From my 5/1/20 posting “Trois lapins pour le premier mai”, about the 1st of May:

by some cultural reckonings the beginning of spring in the northern hemisphere and also (in some countries) International Workers Day, so: dance around the maypole, set bonfires for Beltane or Walpurgis, prepare for outdoor bo(i)nking (rabbits again!), break out the lilies of the valley (muguets pour le premier mai), cue the choruses of L’Internationale, and march in solidarity with the workers. (Feel free to choose from this menu, as your taste inclines and your schedule allows.)

The posting muses on, among other things, rabbits, Botticelli’s Three Graces from Primavera, and reworkings of the threesome theme.

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