More from the annals of commercial names, thanks to this Facebook report from Steven Levine, on the road in Asbury Park NJ:
On the way to Ocean Grove NJ for a weekend with some friends, our culinary tour of the Jersey Shore, I passed this sign:
(#1) The Meat & More Corporation of Asbury Park: a butcher shop, noted here for its double entendre name
[Sexual acts discussed in street language, so not suitable for kids or the sexually modest]
No, not like my excellent TeePublic DEI t-shirt —
(#1) A shout-out for diversity, equity, and inclusion
but a different sort of DEI t-shirt, one with a double entendre invoked on it, like this one in my 3/22 posting “Put a red apple in that mouth”:
(#2) A Double Entendre Invoking t-shirt: the slogan I like it spit roasted with the outline of a pig: innocently claiming that the wearer likes — that is, likes to eat — spit-roasted pork (with it referring to pig / pork); but raunchily suggesting the sexual act of spitroasting, conveying that the wearer likes — that is, likes to experience — that sexual act (with it referring to the activity), much like saying I like it bareback
(Some readers will find some of the material in this posting distasteful, but there’s nothing visual or verbal in it to merit keeping the kids away from it.)
I’ll blame this on the luminous Minnie Driver, playing Queen Elizabeth I in season 2 of the Starz tv period drama The Serpent Queen.
(#1) MD in one of her fabulous QEI costumes; the character invites extravagance in costuming and makeup (further examples to come)
Through an accident of dates, QEI will take us to “The Teddy Bears’ Picnic” song and secret worlds hidden from everyday life (and, of course, gay bears). Then, through the excellent “hell of a queen” quotation, she will take us on a further wild ride to the Princeton Triangle Club in 1960 and, more generally, to queens in drag.
Buckle up.
(Manual sex acts as the theme, discussed in both clinical and street language, so not suitable for kids or the sexually modest.)
This is very much a Mary, Queen of Scots, Not Dead Yet posting. I failed to get a Hot Hunks of Christmas posting out yesterday, though I was close to finishing it, when at 2:20 in the afternoon, my net access (also my phone and my cable tv) went down for 6 hours, derailing my life (and marooning me from contact with the outside world). Now I offer you this small, unambitious posting, just to show that I have not indeed died. (My medical state is a strange mixture of, on the one hand, terrible incapacitation and constant pain, and, on the other, absolutely splendid recovery on some fronts. But I have gotten this day as a gift to use. To write for you.)
I bring you this Irish radio report on the recent Golden Globes awards (quoted yesterday on Facebook):
The Cork actor [Cillian Murphy, in Oppenheimer] beat off fellow Irishmen Barry Keoghan and Andrew Scott [in the competition for Best Performance by a Male Actor in a Motion Picture], as well as Leonardo Di Caprio and Bradley Cooper.
Commenters picked up the inadvertent double entendre in beat off, one quipping and boy were his arms tired! (suggesting a malady of wankarm, the manual counterpart of the well-known oral-sex affliction cockjaw). Gay male readers might have read the Irish radio report as the fulfillment of an extraordinary fantasy, of getting off all four of these hot actors in single encounter.
Just arrived in my e-mail, this entertaining Fourth of July sale ad for TitanMen gay porn:
An American flag + shirt-lifting, a biceps display, and a jutting crotch: patriotism plus a display of conventional signs of sexually desirable masculinity for guys who are into guys.
American Independence Day is what what I’ve called a masculine meat holiday (in my 6/17/22 posting “Be the Master of the Meat!”) — with the full weight of the double entendre on meat, so lending itself to exploitation in gay porn ads.
(There will be some digressions into vulgar sexual slang and explicit descriptions of sex acts, so some sections of this posting are not recommended for kids or the sexually modest.)
Adventures on Facebook that start with cheese balls and then branch to the coinages giggalicous and snickerfacient. So things are pretty much all over the map. I set things off on FB with this message, which mingles all three topics :
— AZ on 10/26: I find it giggalicious that some company is offering “dairy-free cheese balls”. But I am admittedly easily amused, to the point where I have always found “cheese balls”, all by itself, to be snickerfacient.
(Gets right into gay men’s sexual parts, fore and aft, and man-on-man sexual acts, using street language, so not suitable for kids or the sexually modest.)
… or like cherry, vanilla, peach, or pumpkin spice. These are the Tasty Hole flavored body scrubs, formulated to make your hole tasty for the guy who’ll be rimming you.
(Just for the record: I hate flavored condoms. And flavored lubes. And flavored douches, which is the territory we’re moving into here. Unless the flavor is something like Male Sex Sweat. As for cherry flavoring, I hate it in cough drops and syrups and all that stuff, so I’m certainly not going to get it up for licking cherry scrub out of my trick’s hole. Your tastes might differ, of course. But you should know ahead of time that I’m inclined to mock the basic idea of Tasty Hole products.)
(Phallic preoccupations abound in this posting, sometimes in street language — I mean, look at the title above — so some readers may want to skip over it)
Passed on by a friend on Facebook yesterday, this German grocery-store snapshot plus a joking double-entendre intro in English (together making what appears to be a a fast-spreading meme):
(#1) Hähnchenschnitten Wiener Art ‘Viennese-style chicken cutlets’ from the (German) Vossko company, the name of the product including the German phrase Wiener Art ‘Viennese-style’ — that is, prepared like Wiener Schnitzel / Wienerschnitzel); meanwhile, the English-language intro alludes to wiener art, in the sense ‘penis art’, referring to artworks in which penises are significant elements (or, in an hugely extended sense, to any artworks in which human penises are visible) — the label wiener art involving the (mildly racy) AmE sexual slang term wiener ‘penis’
German Wiener Art ‘Viennese-style’ (a) leads to English Wiener art ‘Viennese art’ (b) and then to four AmE slang uses of wiener art: (c) ‘sausage / frankfurter art’; (d) ‘dachshund art’; (e) ‘penis art’; (f) ‘weenie art’. All will be illustrated below.
O pickle, my love / What a beautiful pickle you are!
Blame it on Nancy Friedman (@Fritinancy on Twitter), who took us down to the pickle plant in Santa Barbara on 7/18, citing these 5 delights, with their label descriptions:
Unbeetables (pickled beets with unbeatable heat) – pun on unbeatable
Carriots of Fire (pickled carrots to light your torch) – punning allusion to the film Chariots of Fire
¡Ay Cukarambas! (dill-icious spicy dill pickle spears) – complex portmanteau of the American Spanish exclamation ¡ay caramba! and the noun cuke ‘cucumber’
Asparagusto (pickled asparagus with a kick) – portmanteau of asparagus and gusto
Bread & Buddhas (semi-sweet bread & butter pickles) – pun on bread and butter (pickles)
(#1)
Pickles are automatically phallicity territory, and the Pacific Pickle Works in Santa Barbara CA (website here) doesn’t shy away from their penis potential, augmenting it by references to phallic carrots, asparagus spears, and unpickled cucumbers. If you have the eye for it, we all live in Penis Town.
(This is obviously going to go where no kids or sexually modest people should go, and it’s going to get there fast.)
The commercial names Doggie Diner and Mr. Whippy, both surely conceived in all innocence, but, to the prepared mind, easily evoking sexual images (as it happens, my mind is prepared for man-on-man sexual images, so that’s where I’m inclined to go): the doggie / doggy position for anal intercourse; and a leatherman master whipping a leatherman slave.
