Archive for the ‘Mishearings’ Category

Making a mango crazy in bed

July 14, 2025

My life has recently been extraordinarily difficult and extravagantly painful, but at the moment my fingers are up to a small amount of typing, so here’s an odd mishearing to amuse you. This posting is way gay and attentive to male bodies, and there’s a photo (hunky rather than raunchy, but it does involve ostentatious shirtlessness featuring prominent six-packs), so it will not be to everyone’s taste.

In a Facebook short reel that came past me this morning — I’m in need of distractions from the pain — we see two gay guys (both hunks in swimsuits, though of two very different body types), with gay guy A interviewing gay guy B:

What’s a bedroom move that makes a man go crazy? Show me with your hands.

The scene:

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Nutritional mishearing

May 28, 2025

I posted this query on Facebook yesterday:

— AZ: I’ve been regularly getting a tv spot ad for the Boost Max nutritional drink , ‘Here’s to Now: Boost Max’ (published 8/13/24), in which a young Black man says what I hear as “Here’s to bean meat soup every Thursday” (which puzzles me). Can anyone correct — or confirm — my impression?

You can view the ad, from ispot.tv, here.

Crucially, I failed to take into account the context the speaker is in; I really should know better.

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Afflicted with aphids

April 20, 2025

[4/25 disclaimer. In the constant upheavals of my life and the world around me, I’m now just picking random stuff to post about, from the 60 or 70 items in my ever-expanding queue — whatever catches my fancy at the moment. Don’t try to make sense of it as a whole.]

Regularly playing on MSNBC, the tv commercial “No Time to Wait”, featuring an earnest and friendly Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (now 78 years old) telling us

I have AFib (/éfɪb/ atrial fibrillation, the irregular heart rhythm)

which I heard as

I have aphids /éfɪdz/

(You can watch the commercial here.)


A screen shot from the commercial; Kareem is holding a basketball just in case you’ve forgotten who he is

It’s immensely pleasing to me that he’s still alive and is doing good things.

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Alaskan prime

January 1, 2025

🐇 🐇 🐇 three rabbits to inaugurate the month January and the year 2025

From Chris Waigl on Facebook yesterday. One fact that you need to know about CW is that she lives in Fairbanks AK (further facts, about CW and about Alaska, will become relevant as we go on):

Soft-spoken barista in a medium-loud café, as heard by me: … and would you like salmon on top of your cappuccino?

The barista said cinnamon, CW heard salmon. Phonologically similar, but from two different conceptual worlds. Why would CW even have entertained the possibility that the barista was offering salmon?

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Today’s mishearing

November 14, 2024

Just a moment ago on MSNBC’s “Deadline: White House”, the host, Nicolle Wallace, delivered a pitch for the Deadline: Legal Blog, giving instructions on how to subscribe, concluding with what I heard as:

You’ll have a fresh new sweater delivered to your mailbox every Friday

Well, yes, she said newsletter, and though this actual word hadn’t appeared before in her brief pitch, a newsletter was an unsurprising thing to come up in the context of news television and blogs, while sweaters and other articles of apparel were far from  the material in her program.

Pixies, I blame pixies. And, of course, sunspots.

 

Annals of mishearing: effing gee, the carpet store

September 16, 2024

A frequently experienced tv commercial in recent days, encountered at first only through the audio, which I heard to be for a local carpet company called, apparently, effing gee or effing G, involving the verb F or eff /ɛf/, an initialistic euphemism for fuck. Given my nature and my professional interest in taboo vocabulary, it would be fair to think of my perception as Freudian mishearing, of who knows what original. But, surely, a carpet company wouldn’t choose a name with fucking encoded in it, maybe playfully conveying that it was fucking good (though that would be a bold commercial move).

The next time I heard the ad, I understood the company name to be effigy, which is at least an English word (and not a swear), but baffling as a company name. Significantly, having heard the name originally as beginning with /ɛf/, that perception persisted.

Next time around, I shifted my perception to something more likely, in which /ɛf/ is in fact a letter name: FnG, that is F&G. This would be a common pattern in company names; a sampling of F&R companies:

F&R Auto Repair (Woodland CA), F&R Auto Sales (Hialeah FL), F&R Towing (San Jose CA), F&R Engineering (Roanoke VA), F&R American Fine Fragrance (Winston Salem NC)

Finally, I looked at the screen, and saw that the company’s name was indeed initialistic, but was S&R, not F&R. /f/ and /s/ are minimally distinct acoustically, so are often confused in perception. My initial perception was skewed towards /f/ because of my bias towards fucking — and so towards fucking and effing — and once established that perception persisted, despite repetitions of /s/.

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Soft mice

July 15, 2024

Lightning posting: Downy fabric softener commercial on tv, heard out of the corner of my ear:

It brings mice into your laundry

I contemplated the other indoor plagues I  have suffered here in Palo Alto: houseflies, clothes moths, Argentine ants. No cockroaches. Only the occasional silverfish or centipede. Rats and squirrels yearning to get indoors, but without success. No mice.

And now a fabric softener could bring mice upon me.

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Nutellahealth services

November 15, 2023

Well, what the tv commercial said was:

… our telehealth services

But what I heard was:

… our Nutellahealth services

A clear example of mishearing fostered by context, since I had recently ordered (and much enjoyed) Hella Nutella ice cream from the Scoop shop in Palo Alto. (I didn’t grow up with Nutella — it first appeared when I was in my 20s — and it’s not part of my life, but I’m quite fond of both hazelnuts and chocolate, so was pleased to find the two tastes together in ice cream.) So the name Nutella was racketing about somewhere in the attics of my mind; Nutella was, at the moment, especially salient to me.

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The vipers of Santa Clara County

August 19, 2023

I wrote on Facebook a little while ago:

Just heard on a tv public service announcement from Santa Clara County: … Watch for walkers and vipers. (Ah, that must have been: bikers. Fortunately, vipers are sparse in the county.)

Follow-up: there seem to be plenty of Dodge Vipers in the county, also Pit Viper Sunglasses. And we have the Silicon Valley Vipers quadball team. According to the US Quadball site: “quadball is a mixed gender contact sport with a unique mix of elements from rugby, dodgeball, and tag”. (Until 2022 it was known as quidditch. Yes, that quidditch. Players must have a broomstick between their legs at all times. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.)


Logo of the Silicon Valley Vipers quadball team

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Iddle-Do and Not Zarella

May 5, 2023

As a temporary diversion from some truly awful times in my life (which I will eventually post about), two reprised One Big Happy strips recently in my comics feed, in which Ruthie struggles to interpret language unfamiliar to her.

The strips.


(#1) The Iddle-Do Rule; which should lead us to reflect some on the distinction between circumstances in which “good enough for some purpose” — it’ll do — is the appropriate goal (the general case for most aspects of everyday social life) and the special cases in which a perfect performance is called for


(#2) Not Zarella cheese (with Not Zoball soup as a bonus); I note that Zarella is a fairly common Italian surname, which Ruthie (who is of Italian descent) might well be familiar with, so that  a cheese named after a Zarella wouldn’t be at all surprising

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