Running a bit late, but here are four (US) Independence Day items: two pieces of watermelon news (just food); phallic hot dogs (food and sex); and a go-to guy for holiday gay porn (just sex). The last two items involve men’s bodies and mansex discussed in street language, so aren’t suitable for everyone.
Picture gallery:
(#1) Part 1: watermelon mold (the movie)
(#2) Part 1: square watermelons
(#3) Part 2: Rice Krispies watermelon slices
(#4) Part 3: pigs in ponchos, or dicks in sleeves
(#5) Part 4: Liam Knox getting serviced for the 4th of July
(#6) Part 4: Liam Knox getting serviced for Fathers Day
Digression: celebratory watermelon. Hot dogs, potato salad, and watermelon (Citrullus lanatus): standard picnic fare for the 4th of July. At least for wypipo; if you’re black and American, you probably have an edgy relationship with watermelon. Maybe you won’t eat it at all, probably you won’t eat it in public (or, at least, in the view of wypipo), or maybe you eat it in public defiantly and ostentatiously; see my 4/4/16 posting “The watermelon files”. Otherwise, watermelon is summer fare, and also the red of the red, white, and blue, as in these patriotic edibles (with blue supplied by blueberries):
(#7) July 4th fruit bowl, in a watermelon shell (with honeydew melon for the white)
(#8) July 4th food flag and fruit bowl on/in a watermelon shell (with jicama for the white)
(#9) July 4th watermelon salad, in a watermelon bowl (with feta cheese for the white)
Part 1: squaring the watermelon. From the melonmold.com site (original text, unedited):
The Square Shaped Watermelon Mold is used for shaping a standard watermelon that you can grown in your personal garden (No special seeds required).
Information about the mold itself [in #1]: This mold is constructed out of Polycarbonate plastic. This type of plastic material is fully transparent and non-toxic to humans or to nature. It has the high tinsel strength [note tinsel for tensile, well attested on the Eggcorn Forum, along with tensile for tinsel — both spelling confusions based on the pen/pin merger in many American varieties, in which [ɛ] is raised to [ɪ] before a nasal in the same syllable] needed to contain the watermelon as it is growing. Included with the mold are all the nuts and bolts needed to properly seal the mold. All parts are designed for outdoor use and will last many growing seasons to ensure you get the most out of your mold.
The actual size of the melon your mold will produce is 7.5” at its tallest point and 7.5” at its widest. It is 7.5” at its deepest point.
Type of watermelon to grow: This mold is designed to grow a watermelon [examples in #2] that weighs around 10-12lbs. If a different type of seed is used then there is a higher chance of failure
Part 2: citrullic cereal cuteness. Cute food abounds, and Rice Krispies are a favorite raw material for constructing such food. As in #3. From the i Creative Ideas site on 8/2/15:
Watermelon is one of the popular fruits during the summer. Instead of serving the regular watermelon, how about making some fun treats that look like watermelons [and have none of the thirst-quenching juiciness of real watermelons]? How cute are these watermelon rice krispy slices! They are crispy, crunchy and will certainly surprise your guests. They are super easy and fun to make. Kids will enjoy making and decorating these creative watermelon-like sweet treats. They are great for kids’ parties, play dates, bake sales and other summer gatherings. They are easy to pack up for picnics and travelling.
Here are the things you will need: butter; marshmallows; Rice Krispies cereal; food coloring; chocolate chips or raisins [for the “seeds”].
That the results are edible is pretty much a side benefit. The cuteness is the point.
Part 3: notching up phallicity. All sorts of sausage, hot dogs included, are natural phallic symbols (this blog has a Phallicity: The wurst Page about postings on the subject). The phallicity of a sausage is enhanced if it’s paired with a vaginal symbol: the bun holding a hot dog; or a dough sleeve, as in (US) pigs in a blanket (a croissant roll holding a hot dog, or biscuit or croissant dough wrapped around a hot dog and baked) and bagel dogs (bagel dough wrapped around a hot dog and baked); see my 8/23/11 posting “Corndogs and their ilk”.
Rachel Ray’s Pigs in Ponchos (tortilla-wrapped franks and beans, in #3 above), on her website on 12/28/11, since copied and varied by others, manages (to my eye, at least) to reach new levels of sexual suggestiveness, thanks to the sleeve-like flesh-colored tortillas.
The list of ingredients for 8 pigs, from Ray’s site:
8 good-quality hot dogs
1 can (16 oz.) vegetarian (lard-free) spicy refried beans
1 large poblano chile pepper
16 flour tortillas (8-inch), heated to soften slightly
1 1/2 cups homemade or store-bought salsa verde
Yellow mustard, jalapeno mustard or honey mustard
2 1/2 cups shredded monterey jack cheese
Part 4: Liam Knox, Titanic man about the holidays. In #5, LK in a cropped shot from the TitanMen July 4th sale ad; full image on the 7/4 AZBlogX posting “Liam Knox for the 4th”, showing Micah Brandt licking LK’s dick in Dick Danger 2. There’s nothing particularly patriotic about LK, the porn flick, or this image; it just seems to be that TitanMen has been using the hugely muscular LK as their go-to guy for sale publicity. Note the similarity in pose between #5 and #6 (which shows LK screwing Luke Adams for Fathers Day). The full set of recent postings about LK on my two blogs, in reverse chronological order.
the July 4th XBlog posting on LK has shots of three earlier holiday sales featuring LK (below), plus extras from Dick Danger 2: Dakota Rivers dogfucking LK, Rivers sucking LK.
HOLIDAY: Fathers Day (June 17th): LK screwing Luke Adams in Muscle Daddies
XBlog on 6/16/18 “Muscle Daddies Day”
this blog on 6/17/18 “Muscle daddies for Fathers Day”HOLIDAY: Memorial Day (May 28th): LK getting fucked (missionary) by Julian Knowles in Beef
XBlog on 5/28/18 “More Memorial mansex”
this blog on 5/28/18 “More porn for the holidays”this blog on 3/15/18 “Cumshots from muscle daddies”: LK in Muscle Daddies (not connected to a holiday)
HOLIDAY: April Fool’s Day (April 1st): Dakota Rivers fucking LK (missionary) in Dick Danger 2
XBlog on 4/1/18 “For Easter Fool’s Day”
this blog on 4/1/18 “Easter Fool’s”this blog on 3/9/18 “The further adventures of Dick Danger”: LK in Dick Danger 2 (not connected to a holiday)
From LK’s Twitter account:
Liam Knox, San Francisco CA, @LiamKnoxXXX: Howdy, y’all!!! Lover of men. Eater of protein, lifter of iron and certified personal trainer. http://titanmen.com . Live in this world but shape it for the future!
Late-breaking bonus: the Hostess Independence Day. Just arrived from Chris Hansen, who, knowing Zippy the Pinhead’s preoccupation with Hostess products, wonders on Facebook if Zippy might enjoy Star Spangled Ding Dongs for the 4th of July:
(#10)
(Note the drumbeat tetrameter of
Stár Spánglĕd Díng Dóngs
— suitable for chanting, like Hell, no, we won’t go! and other passionate sentiments.)
Hostess didn’t stop there. Two more effusions of snack-cake patriotism:
(#11)
(#12)
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