(Generally on the raunchy side, though not actually obscene — but too heavy with sex toys (including some truly alarming dildos) and anal talk for kids and the sexually modest, who should stay away.)
Very late for one of my favorite holidays, National Underwear Day (8/5), this Daily Jocks ad on 8/25:
(#1) [ad copy:] Get party ready with the DJX Trough Jockstrap. Featuring a dual-layered breathable pouch, which is as soft to the touch as it is enhancing. You won’t want to take these off. [oh honey, yes you will, yes you will]
First, some AMZ verse; then an olla podrida of neon pink jockstrap-related topics.
To PNJM in his partywear
Oh, Pink Neon Jock Man!
I will root like a slut pig inthe softness of your pouch, in
the boldness of its color, in
the heft of your sweet penis,
the scent of your big ballsI will rip away your jockstrap
with my teeth and swallow you
Butch fagginess. Not the first neon pink jock on this blog, but an especially fine example of its kind; when worn by a muscular, conventionally masculine-looking man, as here, such underwear flies the flag of butch fagginess, where queer and macho elements mesh. (Given the brightness and saturation of neon pink, it would be fair to describe the queer element here not merely as faggy, but as screaming queeny.)
Queer jockstraps as items of decor. I have long admired such garments, mostly from afar. A great many years ago, I had a candy pink jockstrap — really more for my man Jacques to appreciate than for me to use. I never belonged to any gym where I thought I could have gotten away with such a thing, but I was much less outrageous then. Now I’d wear pretty much anything — freedom is another name for nothing left to lose — but I’m disabled and fat and long past my gym-going days.
It did occur to me yesterday that I could just buy the damn thing and add it to the huge collection of variously decorative, intriguing, and screamingly queer items strewn about my house. (One of the sadnesses of my living in isolation for so long is that I don’t get visitors who might appreciate the environment I’ve constructed.) Now that I think of it, there’s a spot that just cries out for a neon pink jockstrap. (Stay tuned for the French pink dildo — I am also past my dido-wielding days, alas — now ordered with a similar rationale.)
Hairy chests, of a sort. Having recently posted several times on body hair, especially chest hair, in men, my keen eyes noticed the manscaped chest hair on the model: trimmed so that he wouldn’t look like a Hairy Man with a chest rug — that would be too crude — but would still have a lightly furry chest, as a symbol of masculinity. I appreciate the delicacy of these calculations, but as someone who used to burrow his face in men’s chests on pleasurable occasion, I shrank back from the spikiness of clipped body hair. (If it’s your coarse body hair that gets clipped, it itches — but I guess that’s just what men have to suffer for their pursuit of beauty.)
Troughs. DJX Trough in the ad, slut pig in my verse. From my 5/24/19 posting “The ballet of Mango Meshman”:
The trough in the [DJX Trough collection] ad will suggest pigs feeding, and gay sexual excess [that is, sex pigs]
Partywear and the libfix –wear. Get party ready with DJX Trough: the jockstrap isn’t gymwear, it’s partywear — for gay dance parties (or perhaps for partying in the bedroom with another gay guy) — or, more generally, homowear, intended as a fashion statement or a sexual advertisement.
From my 7/7/21 posting “Lounge shorts”:
Labels of commerce: Xware and Xwear. Note the profusion of apparel types with semi-technical commercial labels in –wear (alluding to the function of the garments): loungewear, sleepwear, gymwear, sportswear, outerwear, and so on. (Underwear is, exceptionally, a long-standing piece of everyday vocabulary.) The usage has been extended to fetishwear and, in my writing on underwear aimed at a gay male audience, to homowear (referring to underwear designed to display the male body for the pleasure and arousal of this audience).
This terminological move echoes a similar move for categories of artefacts in the domain of food preparation and consumption — categories with Xware names [discussed in cited postings].
Underwear is no doubt the model for the other –wear words.
DJX actually has a category labeled partywear (for dance parties), comprising: crop tops, party shorts (most with clearly defined pouch), wrestling suits, party socks (knee-length athletic socks). (Even I am struggling to imagine such a party, but it clearly has a Sports for Queers theme.). Jockstraps, even those for parties, are in a different DJX category.
Shades of pink. Musing on shades of pink led me to look at French rose ‘pink’, which led me to sources on what that French pink might be. In particular, to Wikipedia‘s “Shades of pink” entry, where I found a list of “computer web color pinks” (pink, light pink, hot pink, deep pink), plus a list of 49 “other notable pink colors”. And there I found French pink:
(#2) “the color French pink, which is the tone of pink that is called pink (French: rose) in the Pourpre.com color list, a color list widely popular in France.”
Being the person that I am, I immediately associated the label French with fellatio, noting, however, that the color in #2 is far darker and more saturated than the skin color of “white” penises, though it does turns up as a fantasy color for dildos (more on that below). Meanwhile, French rose leads to the anus and its color, which is again considerably lighter than French Pink (more on that below, too).
In any case, I’d hoped that French pink for fellatio would be paired with Greek pink for anal intercourse, but Wikipedia has no listing for that. (Still, see the anus connection for shades of pink, still to come.) (On the geographical theme, the list does have Chilean, Mexican, Persian, and Spanish pink, and also New York, Congo, and China pink.)
Next I noticed Fairy Tale pink (which of course is associated with fairies the sprites rather than fairies the gay men — though in the popular mind, practically any shade of pink could call up fairies like me):
(#3) “the color Fairy Tale [which I prefer to call just Fairy], a pale and soft purplish pink color resembling typical fairy outfits in fiction. It is similar to orchid pink but slightly paler and more purple-toned.”
(I note that this shade approximates the color of some anuses.)
Finally, continuing with the gay slang, queen pink:
(#4) “a pale shade of pink. The color name queen pink first came into use in 1948.”
I haven’t been able to find out more about the history, which I presume involves some specific queen. Not Queen Elizabeth II, since she didn’t become queen until 1952.
The anal connection. From my 8/29/13 posting “Kissing the rose”, about a sensuous painting, The Soul of the Rose (1908) by John William Waterhouse:
The woman is smelling the rose, but she’s close to kissing it, close to treating it as a romantic partner (in which case the rose is a symbol of the lover’s mouth). Other, more carnal, interpretations are available to modern audiences, for whom the rose can serve as a symbol of either the vagina or the anus.
The posting has cites for rosette ‘anus’ (a simple metaphor). And GDoS has cites for rosebud ‘anus’ (also metaphorical). (And, yes, the posting covers The Miracle of the Rose.)
The pinkness of penises. Finally, having invested in a neon pink jockstrap as an item of decor, I went on to hope that neon pink penises — in the form of dildos — would be available for similar use. And so they were, even in an uncircumcised model (to remind me fondly of my man Jacques — though if J’s penis had ever turned neon pink, we both would have been extraordinarily alarmed, that can’t be healthy); but the uncut model was heavily textured for anal pleasure, so that it looked like a monster lizard phallus, which would never have done for decorative purposes.
As it turns out, simple pink dildos are all the rage. Because they’re so feminine! Meant primarily for women to use, they don’t suffer from the gigantism that attends dildos for gay men — small enough to slip into your purse, some of the pink dildo ads say. For comparison, here are some fantasy penises for gay men, from the catalogue of the gay-supply firm Circus of Books (text unedited from the original):
(#5) [top:] “This Rascal Best Seller is a massive 12″ dildo [to get the shaft length subtract an inch or so for the testicular base]. It is big, thick and just waiting for an incredible experience! It has a firm and thick shaft, a whopping 9” in girth! It’s realistic throbbing veins and head are waiting to devour. Inspired by the famous Chi Chi LaRue’s Black Balled gang bang series [of gay porn].” [bottom: two smaller dildos, still significantly larger than normal for penises (most are in the 4-6″ range)]
(Side note: BBC — big black cock — is a conventional abbreviation for ads of all sorts meant for gay men.)
My anus and intestines ache sympathetically at the sight of these monsters. Oh, the excesses of the male fixation with penis size!
But dildos for women, whether realistic or fanciful (nothing says a device for vaginal pleasure has to look like a penis), come in much more suitable lengths (and girths), with shafts in the normal range. Like the Adam and Eve company’s Lollicocks Slim Stick 7 (here in pink; it’s also available in astonishing blue and purple):
(#6) [features list:] flexible 7” PVC dildo, 6” insertable [shaft length]; lifelike shape with raised head and vein details; textured balls give you a great feel and grip; satisfying and flexible 1.5” wide shaft; secure stick suction cup base; in see-through PVC in fun colors
Despite all that realism, this is definitely a “fun color” penis-simulacrum, in a fantasy pink not known to man (approximately French pink, above).
I look forward to installing it on the desk in my bedroom. The obvious name for it would be Pinkie, companion to the gay icon Blue Boy, but I’d be happy to entertain alternatives.
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