Kiss my nuts, Sunny!

(There will be man-man sexual acts, frivolously though accurately described, so probably not suitable for kids or the sexually modest.)

From Alex Elliott on Facebook this morning: the bag of cherries, with an illustrated ad on it, plus Alex’s comment:

(#1) AE: This bag of cherries has one of the most unsettling commercial illustrations I think I’ve ever seen.

Ah, naughty nutkissing (aka ballkissing), which rapidly leads the practitioner into the abominable vice of nutsucking (more commonly called ballsucking). In any case, lips and testicles are (symbolically) involved in a way you don’t expect in a grocery store.

More detail from a meme site, with the caption “Teabag the Sunman” — alluding (among other things) to the practice of teabagging, which involves one man’s testicles rested on another man’s face or placed in his mouth, a practice made famous, though not originated, by John Waters in his movie Pecker:

(#2) Oh, those Canadians!

Meanwhile, on Pornhub, dropping all metaphors and dipping right into the hard stuff, a video (of a nice size, not too short and not too long, entitled “Dude Sucks Shaved Teen’s Balls”) showing a tremendously skilled and enthusiastic performance of cock- and ballsucking by a sweetly gay young man (yes, he gets his seminal reward). I felt obliged to watch it through twice, in an attempt to figure out what eye and mouth gestures (well, lip gestures before he filled his mouth with dick and nuts) marked him as so delightfully faggy. (I am on something of a campaign to celebrate ornamentally faggy presentations of self, but I wasn’t expecting to see one on Pornhub, where most of the men, including devoted cocksuckers, present themselves as butch.)

The Pornhub title did inspire me to concoct a news flash from San Francisco:

Dude Sucks Shaved Teen’s Balls,
Crowd Shouts “Eat it! Eat it!”

A large crowd of tetrametrical queer activists gathered outside a picture window at 19th and Noe in Eureka Valley yesterday to watch and cheer on a young gay man (described by one spectator as “wonderfully faggy”) enthusiastically engorging the penis and testicles of the teenage bagboy at a local grocery. The crowd was noisy but not unruly, and area police declined to disperse it, choosing instead to join the audience.

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