Invitation to the groaning phallic board

(Below is the introduction to what was intended to be the fourth and final posting — “The groaning phallic board” — in what I’ve come to think of as The Tale of Raunchy Appetizers. But I was felled, once again, by hours of irrestistible exhausted sleep (no, I don’t know why, but my life has been very unpleasant for a while). Back in the world to get some dinner, but I’ll never get this posting done today. Think of this as a Halloween teaser; save it for its eventual continuation, along the lines promised below

🐈‍⬛ 🐈‍⬛ 🐈‍⬛ (for Ultimate October, not tigers, but Halloween black cats) The final chapter in the story of the raunchy appetizer board, which began in my 10/20 posting “The Funny Aperitif Board”, with its entertaining word confusion between appetizer and aperitif — but the story was notable because of the phallicity of the board itself:

(#1) From a Facebook ad for a wooden appetizer board in the outline shape of the male genitals (head with frenulum and urethral cleft, gently bent shaft, and testicles) — highly stylized, highly schematic, but with these quite specific details; shown here with the compartments filled with appetizers of various sorts, and with accompanying bowls of other appetizers

Where I’m going, eventually, in this posting is some reflection on the modes of phallicity, extending my thoughts in two earlier postings, “Enhanced phallicity” of 12/10/21 (about things that are not merely phallic by nature, but (also) deliberately designed to resemble penises in some detail) and “Plush life” of 9/11/22 (about four modes of phallicity). What, in this world, are we to make of the raunchy appetizer board?

But first I’ll run through my previous postings on the raunchy appetizer board, setting the scene for a delightful adventure in “those fancy food boards” (as one net guide put it) — made of various materials, in various shapes — and the foods they are designed to hold.

Recap. The story so far, in three installments.

my 10/20 posting “The Funny Aperitif Board”, setting the scene as above

my 10/25 posting “Appetizer boards”, on the the foodstuff category to which appetizers belong and the implement category to which food-service boards and platters belong; and on the lexical fields corresponding to those categories, the vocabulary for naming items within these categories. On board in its general sense ‘a thin, flat piece of wood or other stiff material used for various purposes’, then with reference to its specialized purposes in the compound cheese board ‘a (wooden) board on which cheese is served; a selection of cheeses served alone or as part of a meal; the combination of the two’. And then:

Once this conventional sense of cheese board was established, it fixed a specialized sense of the head noun board ‘board on which food is served’, so that we then get the compound noun appetizer board ‘board on which appetizers are served’.

my 10/26 posting “The dubious appetizer board”, in which the raunchy board in #1 is described as an appetizer board, but it’s being marketed (especially on Etsy) as as a gag gift, suitable for bachelorette parties and the like; I came to suspect that the photo is a scam come-on (probably with a Chinese source), though I admire the concept

… Here ends the introduction …


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