(Penis plush and dildos too, in detail, so not suitable for kids or the sexually modest.)
Breaking News for Penises: you can now purchase adorable soft-plush penis-simulacrum stuffed toys. Some for you to cuddle with. One that is, delightfully, a second-order simulacrum: a stuffed-toy simulacrum of a dildo, the dildo being a sex-toy simulacrum of a penis — and, even better, this one is a stuffed squeaky toy for dogs. Eventually, there will be a photo of Fido gently mouthing Peter Woofington, a gigantic plush play-dick in warm but unlikely flesh tones. With goofy crossed eyes.
As a bonus, you get two fabulous recordings of Billy Strayhorn’s jazz standard “Lush Life”: Ella Fitzgerald singing the words, John Coltrane transforming the music. Plus my confession that when I came across Peter I somehow missed the canine connection entirely and so fell to speculating about the anal life expectancy of a plush dick and to some alarm at the idea of taking into my body a dildo that squeaked (presumably with pleasure, but still).
The foreshadowing. On this blog.
— in my 2/26/22 posting “velour”, about velour, velvet, velveteen, and plush
— in my 6/21/19 posting “Mickey gets stuffed for Pride”, this photo:
(#1) Plush-toy Mickey simulacrum for Pride (not, however, made of plush … instead, plush toy is an AmE synonym of stuffed toy, stuffed toys coming in a variety of outer fabrics, plush among them
High kawaii plush. From the Penis Plushies site, gushing ad copy on “The fantastic world of Penis Plush”:
Penis Plushies are immensely awesome when you are aspiring to take the unique passion that you have with Penises to the next level. You can look forward to much fun and frivolous naughtiness by purchasing a cute penis plush.
… The Penis Plushies are designed to look like a giant penis. It goes without saying that they are super sweet, frightfully delightful and mischeviously adorable.
(#2) Six sizes (from 12n to 36in), two skin tones, erect, with testicles in roughly the right proportion, but eyes way too cute (for my taste)… The Penis Plushies are available for your purchase in different sizes. It is up to you to go through them and pick the best size that matches your preferences. We have a little penis plush all the way up to a giant penis plush, it really is your decision which size you will most likely enjoy 😉
(#3) In pastel pink, stubby, the testicles shriveled into little rabbit’s-feet, but with a more anatomically credible glans penis, and without the creepily cute eyes; in 4 sizes (4in to 20in)
Lexical background from NOAD:
adj. plushy: US made of or resembling plush; soft to the touch: her heels sank into the plushy carpet. noun plushy (also plushie): a soft toy.
Joint news bulletin: News for Penises / News for Anuses. In an e-ad of 9/7 from the Circus of Books (offering supplies of all sorts for gay males):
(#4) Plus penis simulacra as anal sex toys; the full set: Tug Buttons (anal balls), Mutt Plug McRuff (butt plug), Bunny Vanderpup (rabbit vibrator), Peter Woofington (dildo)
Then from the scruffy.dog site, all about Peter:
(#5)
Meet your pup’s new playtime toy, Peter Woofington. Why should you be the only one having fun? That’s why we developed plushie smut for the naughty mutt. This deluxe dog toy is perfect for everyday play to keep your pup active, entertained and healthy. Perfect for puppies and dogs who enjoy rough and tumble playtime, chewing, and fetch, but Peter is soft enough for cuddling when it’s time for a snuggle. Three squeakers entice play, provide extra excitement and keep your pup focused on the fun. (US$19.95)
The company maintains that Peter is tough to destroy.
A note on the rhyming slogan Plushie smut for the naughty mutt, calling to mind similar slogans for items designed for human use: Kinky toys for naughty boys and all that. Contemplate, for example, on the Etsy site, penis soap (4.5in long) by TheWanderingWilly, in 15 colors and 20 scents (among them: eucalyptus mint, bubble gum, and coconut orchid):
(#6) Again, these are second-order simulacra: soap designed to look like dildos designed to look like penises
Modes of phallicity. These entertaining products take us into the world of phallic symbolism broadly understood — a world that contains several significantly different phenomena, what I will call (somewhat adapting existing terms) phallic symbols, phallic representations, phallic designs, and phallic simulacra. Four modes of phallicity. (These are cultural phenomena, so the borders between them won’t always be crisp, but the four modes do somewhat different kinds of work, so it’s useful to distinguish then.)
phallic symbol: an object, whether natural or artifactual — a cigar, a cactus, a banana, the spout of a teapot, a nipple, a tower, an eggplant, a worm or snake, a screwdriver, a nose, a rocket — that resembles a penis; a phallic symbol exists as a material object independent of the associations people make from it to a penis.
phallic representation: an artistic creation — a drawing, painting, photograph, film, or sculpture — depicting a penis.
phallic design: an abstract design evoking a penis, as in a male triad (created for this purpose) or the Head Sport logo (intended to call to mind a ski tip, but inadvertently resembling a penis):
(#7) An especially minimal male triad, abstractly representing a penis (head and shaft) and two testicles
(#8) Head Sport GmbH is an American-Austrian manufacturing company headquartered in Kennelbach, Austria. … Head currently produces a wide range of products for skiing, snowboarding, swimming, tennis and other racket sports. (Wikipedia link)
Phallic designs are then like both phallic symbols and phallic representations.
Finally, phallic simulacrum: a designed object serving some independent function — as a dildo, as a pillow, as a figure in imaginative play, as food, as soap — but in the form of, or incorporating the form of, a penis. This is where we came in.
Plush life. The title of this posting. A punning play on “Lush Life”, the title of
a jazz standard that was written by Billy Strayhorn from 1933 to 1936. It was performed publicly for the first time by Strayhorn and vocalist Kay Davis with the Duke Ellington Orchestra at Carnegie Hall on November 13, 1948. (Wikipedia link)
Performed and recorded, over the years, by almost everyone imaginable. From these performances, two that I enjoy especially. First, for the text, Ella Fitzgerald (with guitarist Joe Pass) from the Take Love Easy album (1974), which you can listen to here. Then, for instrumental riffing on the tune, from John Coltrane ’58: The Prestige Recordings box set: Coltrane (tenor sax); Earl May (bass), Art Taylor (drums). Which you can listen to here.
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