Today’s Steam Room Stories is about “straight guys giving gay gifts”: what does a straight guy give as a Valentine’s Day gift to his best buddy, who happens to be gay? Two straight guys with this question talk together about it in the steam room, each explaining to the other what he proposes to say to his gay bro. You can watch the video here.
The guys get to know each other better, each admiring what a great buddy the other is, until they get to suggesting that maybe they should spend some time together, like maybe dinner and a movie. Oh, well, that would be a date, right, and that would be too fuckin’ gay. But they like each other more and more, eventually deciding that a date would be ok. And maybe some hot sex afterwards, that would be nice. So they hook up. (And then the third guy in the steam room, just off camera to one side, turns out to have been Cupid. “My work here is done.”)
A lot of the SRS episodes are about the permeability of the gay/straight divide. (The series is stunningly pro-gay, treating gay and straight with full parity, and depicting the men discussing sex (of all kinds) openly and easily.)
Here’s one on bro-jobs, to add to my brocabulary file: “BroJobs – there’s nothing more hetero than hooking up with your bud”, which you can watch here. The compaint is that it’s gotten so you can’t tell gays from straights any more: they look the same, act the same, wear the same clothes, do the same things, right down to enjoying anal sex (pegging by their girlfriends for the straight guys) and trading blow jobs (what a straight dude does for his bro when the bro is horny and his woman isn’t available).
And then, to add to my file on angle and curvature, an SRS episode on “curved cocks”, which you can watch here. Five straight guys show off — to one another, not to the viewing audience, these are cock-free videos — dicks that curve right, left, down, straight up, and then the surprise, the famed pretzel dick, and argue their merits. Guy comes in, straight guy says to him, “You’re gay, right?” — “Like Liza’s last husband!” he snaps back — so straight asks him to adjudicate, on the basis of his deep experience with dicks, which is best. Not a hard question: “It’s not the bend of the baloney, it’s the torque behind the tool”. All of the straights except Pretzel Dude troop out to hang out together, so gay guy asks PD what he has in the bag he brought with him. Equipment for his lady to deal with his Bavarian Pretzel, starting with a squeeze bottle of mustard and a bottle of Hefeweisen. Straight asks gay if he wants a sausage, gay says sure, straight hands him the mustard, leans back to make his crotch available and gets ready for gay to feast on his meat.
This is absurd and crude, also very funny.