Easter bunnies

(Intensely into men’s sexual parts and man-on-man sexual acts, in street language, so completely inappropriate for kids and the sexually modest.)

Today is Palm Sunday, and then next weekend come Good Friday (plus the first day of Passover) and Easter Sunday. (I might have left the church, but I still have the liturgical calendar in my head.) The religious holiday of Easter is, as the Christians tell it, a remembrance of the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus.

The modern American secular holiday of Easter is a wholly different occasion, with Easter parades (with hats), Easter bunnies (and some chicks), Easter baskets (lined with green faux-grass), Easter eggs (actual hard-boiled eggs, candy eggs of many sorts, decorative eggs of plastic, metal, jewels, whatever), egg hunts, chocolate, Peeps, god knows what else. All of it at some considerable distance from Golgotha.

For Easter this year, two things: a Mike Twohy cartoon in the 4/11/22 issue of the New Yorker. On rabbits, easter egg hunts, and modern corporate culture. And then in an e-mail ad a few days ago for a Next Door Studios gay porn flick for Easter. Featuring Easter eggs, a grotesque outsized Easter Bunny figure, and a visual metaphor for gay spitroasting (a three-man sexual act) — those eggs are poised at both ends of a naked, sexually receptive man.

Yes, it’s all secular Easter. Meanwhile, humor. The Twohy is of course intended to be funny. The Next Door Studios ad is intended to be playfully entertaining (while the sex in the actual flick is intended to be intense and arousing, not funny at all), but ends up being unintentionally, laugh-provokingly silly.

Twohy. The cartoon:

(#1) A wonderful juxtaposition of the Easter bunny world and the corporate world

Fuck Like Bunnies. The Next Door Studios release of 4/5/22 (just in time for Easter), featuring Dakota Payne and Michael Boston. The ad shows the DVD cover:

(#2) Eggroasting? Spitegging? Payne applying the ass egg, Boston himself supplying the mouth egg (it’s all a visual metaphor)

The grotesque rabbit head comes from a bunny costume that Boston wears at the beginning of the video. A p.r. shot for the video, plus the studio’s ad text:

(#3) Boston (clutching a shiny porn-sized egg) and Payne

Shhh! Cute and confident Dakota Payne is rabbit hunting! Every year that dang bunny tries to get away with something but now Dakota has a plan… Binoculars in hand and spring vest unbuttoned, his cocky chuckles soon turn to moans as he discovers the man beneath the mask: sexy bae Michael Boston! Celebrate the cumming of spring with these two as they take their party home and spend the day fucking like bunnies. Enjoy!

I’ve watched the trailer, which shows the silly rabbit-hunting short intro and then gets down into the sex, which looks genuinely hot, with the two actors playing very well against each other.

Gay spitroasting and metaphor-talk. Gay spitroasting comes up every so often on this blog; it’s a three-man act, involving a target guy, the pig in the spitroasting, who takes one cock in his asshole (for fucking) and one in his mouth (for sucking) — and so is metaphorically roasted on a spit.

From earlier postings, a gay spitroasting, with the genitals fuzzed out for WordPress modesty:

(#4) The act is often interpreted as man fucking man, with the third man taking advantage of the availability of the fuckee’s mouth (in my previous life as a fuckhole slut, I was spitroasted a number of times at the gay baths — always as an elaboration of my getting fucked in public)

For comparison, a whole hog and pig spit roast rotisserie system from the SpitJack (“tools for food and fire”) company’s site:

(#5) Crucial details: spitting involves impaling the pig, with the spit forced through the pig’s body (smaller bits of food can be held by two spikes or prongs, one on either side, but something the size of a pig needs to be impaled); and spitroasting does indeed involve roasting, over a fire

(I’ve attended several pig roasts — the whole procedure is lengthy and complex. an elaborate ritual — and enjoyed the smell of the roasting and the taste of the meat.)

You will note just how deeply metaphorical the term spitroasting is for the sexual act in #4, where neither impaling on a spit nor roasting over a fire is part of the picture. Considered in this light, the label spitroasting doesn’t seem particularly felicitous; maybe double-teaming or double-cocking would have been a better choice, or surround sex or bookend sex or double-door sex. But the terminological ship has sailed: spitroasting is the conventional name. (And anyway, all metaphors are imperfect.)

Previously on this blog. Where the bunnies fuck, there fuck I.

— in my 4/1/22 posting “Bunnies with baskets”, some amiably very dirty doggerel:

(#6) [from the posting:] Though the doggerel is (deliberately) crude and vulgar, I am celebrating, not mocking, all of the acts referred to in it — and I note that there are some poetic touches, in imagery and wording, in the verse, especially that final sweet green grass

— in my 4/2/22 posting “Bunnies with baskets: more dirty fluff”, on (among other things) fluff, fluffiness, baskets, bunnies, eggs, and that green grass (plus fucking, of course)

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