Spanish fetish all over the guy

(Extraordinarily steamy ad, Mr. Fetish Spain in nothing but a pageant banner, and raunchy mansexual talk, so dubious for kids and the sexually modest.)

Today’s Daily Jocks ad re-uses an earlier flagrantly NSFW image in an offer of “Spanish fetish brand Locker Gear” underwear. Well, besides the hot guys in the ad, there’s the parsing of the nominal expression Spanish fetish brand (as a modifier of the brand name Locker Gear).

And the text of the ad, with another significant bit boldfaced:

The DailyJocks Backroom hand picks the best fetish-wear brands from around the world & brings them directly to your inbox. [directly to your inbox was probably carefully chosen, but let that pass]

Check out our hottest new addition, Spanish fetish brand Locker Gear. Featuring a rugged, classic look on all of their products.

From jockstraps with an open pouch to chest harnesses or unlock your addiction with the zipper pouch jockstrap.

Then these two expressions triggered a chain of associations that led ultimately to the romantic comedy movie All Over the Guy.

From my 10/1/19 posting “Up to the line, and sometimes over”:

(#1) From my 9/24 posting “In the cowboys’ locker room”: a DJ Locker Gear ad, labeled NSFW, with one (naked) model plunging his hand into another model’s open-front jockstrap and fondling his (not visible) genitals

(The Locker Gear guys, in Spain, seem to be willing to push the limits of advertising, even in the high homowear genre, as far as they can go.)

An ambiguous moment. For Spanish fetish brand. Two parsings, with rather different meanings:

A: [ Spanish [ fetish brand ] ]  ‘fetish brand from Spain’

B: [ [ Spanish fetish ] brand ] ‘brand for fetishes associated with Spain’

For whatever reason having to do with the way my mind works, I got reading B first, and was reflecting on what kinds of fetishes associated with Spain might be at issue — bull-and-toreador sex? — when I realized that the Locker Gear people were in fact supplying vanilla fetishwear: harnesses, bottomless briefs, open-front jocks, and the like.

Alex in Associationland. (Alex is my sex name, and Alex is my sexy alter ego. He writes my colorfully queer stuff.) By then the damage was done, and I saw Alex doggedly pursuing unlock your addiction with the zipper pouch jockstrap and Spanish fetish down the rabbit hole of association:


unlock leads to unzip, and out of the Locker Gear Zipper Jock (they think of it as a Zippered Jockstrap, but Zipper Jock is just so much better metrically) —


— spills Alex’s fetish dick, it comes in Spanish, ¡hola!, his Spanish fetish uncontrollably aroused by the blue-bannered Mr. Fetish Spain:


Spanish fetish chimes with Fish Mellish, name of a tough Nazi-hating Jew who dies on Omaha Beach —


— who’s played by the usually adorable and quirky Adam Goldberg, who shines as the also adorable Dan Bucatinsky’s best buddy in All Over the Guy —


— and we’re back in gay fantasyland, but now in a romantic comedy. Hey, stick your hand down your trick’s flagrant jockstrap to grab his dick and end up palling around with Adam Goldberg (who you might remember as Chandler Bing’s crazy roommate Eddie in Friends).

Meanwhile, Alex fucked his trick and came all over the guy — and then, the sonofabitch, he was all over the guy, done with him, no longer gave a shit about him.

Notes. Of course there have to be some notes. Alex is a sexy fuck, but I am an academic and a writer.

— #3, the Locker Gear Zipper Jock, in deep blue. The Alex there is Mr. Anonymous, never shows his face, just his handsome and impetuous dick.

— #4,  Mr. Fetish Spain 2019, who sometimes poses in Locker Gear jocks of various styles, but often in more fetishcore gear, and sometimes (as here) in nothing but his blue banner.

Spanish fetish called up Fish Mellish for me, taking things in a dark direction. From the Saving Private Ryan wiki:

Private Stanley “Fish” Mellish [in #5] was a supporting character in the film, Saving Private Ryan. He was a Jewish-American soldier, and a member of Miller’s Squad during the later stages of World War Two. He had a strong dislike for the Nazis due to their public persecution and slaughter of his fellow Jews.

And he dies in hand-to-hand combat on Omaha Beach.

— Mellish played by Adam Goldberg. From Wikipedia:

Adam Charles Goldberg (born October 25, 1970) is an American actor, director, producer, and musician. Known for his supporting roles in film and television, Goldberg has appeared in films such as Dazed and Confused, Saving Private Ryan, A Beautiful Mind, and Zodiac. He has also played leading roles in independent films such as The Hebrew Hammer and 2 Days in Paris.

Goldberg tends towards quirky, highly strung, but charming characters. Wikipedia doesn’t mention it, but he also played an adorable character in the gay romantic comedy in #6 — he’s straight, but then nobody’s perfect — with a fine cast:

— from Wikipedia:

All Over the Guy is a 2001 American gay-themed romantic comedy film directed by Julie Davis and written by Dan Bucatinsky.

All Over the Guy is about Eli (Dan Bucatinsky) and Tom (Richard Ruccolo). The film is told mostly in flashback, with Eli recounting his side to Esther (Doris Roberts), an HIV clinic worker as he waits for test results and Tom to a guy he meets at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Tom is the son of emotionally distant alcoholic WASP parents who never quite accepted his sexual orientation and as a result is a heavy drinker himself and has a penchant for random hookups with different men. Eli’s parents are both Jewish psychiatrists who raised him to be emotionally open but ended up making him neurotic.

… Tom and Eli are set up on a blind date by their best friends, Jackie (Sasha Alexander) and Brett (Adam Goldberg), who think they would be a perfect match. [Tom and Eli are] both looking for ‘The One’, but don’t recognize it when they find it.

Two of the cast, on this blog

from 4/20/15, “Doris Roberts”

from 9/3/18, in “Goldenrods and Boston cops”, a section on Sasha Alexander

And then Dan Bucatinsky. From Wikipedia:

Daniel Bucatinsky (born September 22, 1965) is an American actor, writer and producer, best known for his role as James Novak in the Shonda Rhimes drama series Scandal... In 2014, Bucatinsky starred on NBC’s Marry Me, as well as the newly revived HBO series The Comeback, which he also executive produces.

Bucatinsky is openly gay; he’s married to screenwriter Don Roos.

— finally, the ambiguity in all over the guy: Alex came all over the guy — and then he was all over the guy. From NOAD:

prep. over: … 4 expressing passage or trajectory across: she trudged over the lawn.

phrase be over: no longer be affected by: we were over the worst.



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