Adapted for Christmas use

With a bit of adjustment, or just relabeling, almost anything can be made relevant to the Christmas season. For music, you can just throw in some seasonal reference, or — as in today’s Zits — a refrain of solfege syllables common in traditional English music, famously in the fa la la of the Christmas carol “Deck the Halls”:


(#1) Deck the rats with love of spleen

And then there are actual holiday songs transformed in one way or another, as in this Zits from  2013:


(#2) From my 12/24/13 posting “Xmas cartoons”

There is, of course, a rich collection of explicit / adult / X-rated / dirty / racy / suggestive etc. Christmas music, including versions of “Rudolph” (but not by Gene Autry). The nadir is surely Matt Rogers’s 1997 album Rated X Mas (panned by some as the worst Christmas album ever), with its “Rudoph the Deep Throat Reindeer”, which begins “He’s a homo a faggot…” and then goes downhill — unredeemably unfunny schoolboy dirty talk, which you can, however, listen to here (#3), if you have the stomach for it.

On this version of “Rudolph”: in Billboard magazine on 1/4/2001, “X-Rated Holiday Album Suit Settled”:

The songwriters and publishers of several holiday classics, including “Frosty The Snowman” and “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer,” have reached an out-of-court settlement with the distributor of an album that contains explicit and sexually graphic renditions of those and other holiday staples. Billboard Bulletin reports the settlement requires Kissimmee, Fla.-based Party On Parody Productions (POPP) to pay the authors and publishers — which include Warner/Chappell Music and Jewel Music Publishing — an undisclosed sum. It also requires that all copies of the album “Matt Rogers’ Rated X Mas,” which POPP has distributed in the U.S. for at least three years, be destroyed, according to an attorney for the authors and publishers.

But still it endures.

Remarkable Christmas music. Meanwhile, on this blog, a series of postings on remarkable performances of holiday music, extraordinary variants of existing songs, and fresh (in several senses) inventions for the holidays:

on 12/24/10, “Christmas stories and music”

on 12/25/10, “Happy/Merry Christmas”, on “Happy Christmas (War is Over)”

on 11/24/11, “Christmas music update”

on 12/4/12, “Christmas music bulletin”

on 12/19/11,  “More Christmas music”

on 12/25/11, “Hippoptamuses and other Christmas wants”

on 12/21/12, “Still more Christmas music”

on 12/22/12,  “The multicultural Christmas playist, mostly “Jingle Bells””

on 12/23/12, “Regrettable Christmas songs”

on 12/30/12, “Gay Santas”, with gay Santa Claus music

on 12/16/13, “More for Xmas”, on loathesome Christmas music

on 12/27/14, “Set of three”: #3, Zippy performing “Shingle Smells”

on 11/25/15, “Tinnitus, tinnitus, semper tinnitus”

— on 2/4/16,  “A late Christmas gift”, with a gay version of “All I Want for Christmas is You”

Anything can be used for Christmas. Just yesterday on this blog, in my posting “All I want for XXXmas”, a Daily Jocks ad for Helsinki Athletica homowear, as part of a Christmas sale:


(#4) Xmas-grade anatomy from Finland

There’s no pretense here of a real association between the company’s products (the athletic wear and underwear) and Xmas, merely a stipulation that the products are on sale for the occasion. Similarly for holiday sales for gay porn companies (and, I assume, straight porn companies as well) — and, indeed for companies or stores selling virtually everything: jewelry, cars and trucks, food, clothing, whatever. For Christmas 2015:

(#5)

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