[Sexual acts discussed in street language, so not suitable for kids or the sexually modest]
No, not like my excellent TeePublic DEI t-shirt —
(#1) A shout-out for diversity, equity, and inclusion
but a different sort of DEI t-shirt, one with a double entendre invoked on it, like this one in my 3/22 posting “Put a red apple in that mouth”:
(#2) A Double Entendre Invoking t-shirt: the slogan I like it spit roasted with the outline of a pig: innocently claiming that the wearer likes — that is, likes to eat — spit-roasted pork (with it referring to pig / pork); but raunchily suggesting the sexual act of spitroasting, conveying that the wearer likes — that is, likes to experience — that sexual act (with it referring to the activity), much like saying I like it bareback
(In this posting, separated spit roast, hyphenated spit-roast, and solid spitroast are simply variant spellings; I use whatever spelling my source happens to use.)
What’s the raunch in the Double Entendre Invoking t-shirt? I have a carefully worded definition of gay spitroasting in my 3/22 posting (the answer to your unspoken question: the verbs fellate and be pronged by), but now we’re getting into wholesale cock-sucking and ass-fucking and I see no way to stay behind a veil of modesty, so it’s time for plain talk. In any case: gay spit-roasting is a three-man sex act in which a man gets fucked by one guy while sucking another guy’s cock; the metaphor in the name is to the spitroasting of meat — pork especially — so the spitroast guy is sometimes called the pig (adding a connotation of piggish enthusiasm for the act).
Notes on sexual spitroasting. First note: this is a real thing. Real people sometimes do this. In a previous life, long ago, I was a spitroasted pig on several occasions at the gay baths.
Second note: but it’s not especially common. I’d guess that most gay men haven’t ever taken part in a spitroasting, in any one of the three roles (anally insertive, doubly receptive, orally insertive).
There are reasons for that. The act requires getting three bodies positioned comfortably with one another, not always easy. And the act requires coordinating sexual connections among, in effect, three pairs of men (note that each of the insertive men is a spectator of the other’s act, and these two can verbally egg each other on, or kiss; and that the fucker’s thrusts push the pig’s body forward on the third man’s cock). And the multiple sources of stimulation for the participants can be competing and diffusing; as in 69ing, it can be hard for a guy to maintain focus on any one pleasure.
Third note: but it’s really really common in gay porn, where the principle of To the Max rules: more guys, more cocks, more visible cock, more sexual acts going on simultaneously. More is always better. Plus, the actors can concoct a fabulous show, by fucking and sucking in extraordinary positions, exhibiting athleticism and acrobatic abilities that ordinary guys can only dream of and absolutely should not try at home (where they would be likely to wreck themselves and each other and the furniture). But the fantasies can be wonderful to watch.
Double entendres. Already illustrated, but here’s NOAD on the noun double entendre:
a word or phrase open to two interpretations, one of which is usually risqué or indecent [AZ: an innocent interpretation and a raunchy interpretation]: he was unable to get through two consecutive sentences without a smutty double entendre.
DEs are used in verbal play to convey the raunchy interpretation, with the innocent interpretation providing the cover of plausible deniability for the user.
The blow job t-shirts. Now for a festival of multiple entendre, starting with the compound noun blow job, which has one primary, raunchy, interpretation — ‘oral sex performed on a man’ — though there are a couple of attested innocent interpretations (denoting tasks performed with a blower): ‘hair styling with a hair dryer’, ‘clearing snow with a snowblower’.
Meanwhile, the noun job on its own has a number of innocent interpretations (I’ll list four of them), plus the interpretation ‘sex act’ — in the frequent compounds hand job (hand on penis), blow job (mouth on penis), and rim job (mouth on anus), and in a profusion of other coinings (on this use of job, see my 9/28/13 posting “X job”).
Raunchy blow job can then used as the first element of a compound with second, head, element queen denoting someone with an enthusiasm or preference for the denotation of the first element (on this use of queen, see my 12/19/15 posting “X queen”): blow job queen ‘gay man who likes or prefers to give blow jobs’; we are legion, but the distributor spreadshirt sells a nice t-shirt (designed by ronniensone) in which we can advertise this bent:
(#3) Available in 30 colors; this is fuchsia
(I suppose you could try to get away with treating this as a Double Entendre Invoking shirt, by maintaining that all the slogan says is that you like to have your hair styled with a blowdryer.)
And now the fireworks. A tshirt (designed by lazarusheart) from the distributor Redbubble uses blow job (plainly sexual) in combination with real job — where job is innocent, but many-ways ambiguous, and where the modifier real can be understood in several ways as well. The result is that the slogan on the Redbubble t-shirt is so many ways ambiguous that I can’t fully cope with it (Redbubble itself seems happy to let you get whatever you want out of it):
(#4) Available in 18 colors; this is blue
My favored understanding is that giving a blow job is an activity that’s difficult but substantial and worthwhile, a significant skill. But you might find, as many people do, that whatever your first understanding is, your mind quickly drifts through a fuzzy spectral world of other ways of thinking about blow jobs as real jobs.
The contributing meanings. Just a stab. The central item is job, with at least 4 relevant innocent senses. From the on-line Cambridge Dictionary on the noun job:
[a] the regular work that a person does to earn money … [AZ: the central sense]
[b] a particular piece of work: The builders are aiming to get the job done by the end of the month. He spent the afternoon doing jobs around the house.
[c] something that is your responsibility: [+ to infinitive] She believed her job as a politician was to represent the views of her party and the people who voted for her. I know it’s not my job to tell you how to run your life, but I do think you’ve made a mistake.
[d] informal a problem or an activity that is difficult: [+-ing verb] It was a real job getting the wheel off the bike. We were only given an hour for the exam, and I had a job finishing it.
Here I pause to point out sense d, and its example with real job much as in #4.
Then the modifier real, which covers at least the territories ‘serious’ (vs. ‘frivolous’),’substantial’ (vs. ‘trivial’), and ‘genuine’ (vs. ‘false’). Here’s the Urban Dictionary entry for real job (by D.S. Credito, 3/5/15):
Steady employment with fixed salary and working hours, as well as potential for growth and advancement. Having a real job may mean working in a field that is incompatible with partying, taking drugs, or assuming an otherwise unconventional lifestyle.
People with so-called real jobs might enjoy high salaries, but what they trade off is the chance to experiment and discover what they truly want out of life.
Then I realized that some people pointedly distinguish something they call real work, which is characterized by producing goods and services — setting off (for example) laborers, factory workers, skilled tradespeople, and service workers from managers, salespeople, writers, and scholars. I suppose they think that only those who do real work (in their sense) have real jobs. So that might be yet another relevant distinction.
But now I’m adrift in deep waters. But I’m all in favor of blow jobs.
March 24, 2025 at 6:08 pm |
I see echoes of “sex work is work”. Not that I think this is a serious t-shirt advocating for workers’ rights for sex workers, but I think it’s a silly tshirt intentionally evoking that phrase.
March 24, 2025 at 6:24 pm |
This one came to me as well. It’s not an actual interpretation of the slogan, but some kind of implicature, depending on the blow job being seen as a characteristic act offered by sex workers.