My Lollicock has come home!

Lollicock, lollicock / Oh lolli lolli lolli

(Look, this is going to be about startling pink dildos — but adorable! — and phallofellatial lollipop playfulness, in art and song, so it’s clearly not to everyone’s taste, but it’s mostly goofy rather than raunchy; and it might actually be useful for kids to learn to suck with pleasure on a rainbow lollipop with adult self-awareness rather than adolescent snickering: yes, we understand exactly what it stands for, and we’re down with that.)

My pink Lollicock dildo arrived yesterday and has been integrated into my très-gay bedroom decor. I’m past using dildos for their intended function, but am now exploring their potential as elements in artful compositions of sexually charged objects.

The visuals 1. The ad, with the imperfectly punning trade name Lollicock (cock vs. pop, velar /k/ for acoustically very similar bilabial /p/) and a swirling rainbow lollipop — lollipops being phallic symbols, of course, but even more potent because you put them in your mouth and suck on them.

(#1) “7ʺ Slim Stick w/Balls” refers to the dildo, which I turn to next

The visuals 2. From my 8/26/21 posting “Pretty in neon pink”:

[in contrast to dildos for gay men, which suffer from gigantism,] dildos for women, whether realistic or fanciful (nothing says a device for vaginal pleasure has to look like a penis), come in much more suitable lengths (and girths), with shafts in the normal range.  Like the Adam and Eve company’s Lollicocks Slim Stick 7 (here in pink; it’s also available in astonishing blue and purple)

(#2) [features list from earlier posting:] flexible 7” PVC dildo, 6” insertable [shaft length, from base to tip, excluding balls]; lifelike shape with raised head and vein details; textured balls give you a great feel and grip; satisfying and flexible 1.5” wide shaft; secure stick suction cup base; in see-through PVC in fun colors

Despite all that realism, this is definitely a “fun color” penis-simulacrum, in a fantasy pink not known to man (approximately [what’s called] French pink…).

The sound track. Well, of course, the name Lollicock inevitably produced an Olympic-sized earworm to the 1958 song (1958 was the year I graduated from high school). From Wikipedia:

“Lollipop” is a pop song written by Julius Dixson and Beverly Ross in 1958. It was first recorded by the duo Ronald & Ruby — Ross herself was “Ruby” — and then covered more successfully by The Chordettes.

The song is a firm favorite amongst many performing barbershop music [because of its close harmonies].

Here’s the Chordettes’ recording, with a video, on Youtube. Note that these are well-dressed adult women, doing (as always) a thoroughly professional performance, in this case of a bouncy teen love song. There’s something wonderful, but kind of ridiculous, about the whole thing; I find the film mesmerizing.

Meanwhile, the lolli lolli lolli choruses adhere to my consciousness like giant limpets. Will no one rid me of these troublesome lollipops?!

There are three verses. Verse 1 has the coital-rhythmic image his shaky rockin’ dance; verse 2 has the sweetly suggestive anchor line Sweeter than candy on a stick: and verse 3 provides the climactic like a lightning from the sky.

Call my baby lollipop
Tell you why
His kiss is sweeter than an apple pie
And when he does his shaky rockin’ dance
Man, I haven’t got a chance

Sweeter than candy on a stick
Huckleberry, cherry or lime
If you had a choice he’d be your pick
But lollipop is mine

Crazy way he thrills me
Tell you why
Just like a lightning from the sky
He loves to kiss me ’til I can’t see straight
Gee, my lollipop is great

Male singers covered the song; in particular, teen heartthrob Bobby Vee did a nice Bobby Vee cover —  with the pronouns reversed. But even as a teenager, I longed to hear a male performance of the song as solid as the Chordettes’, but with masculine pronouns, so that the line in verse 3 He loves to kiss me ’til I can’t see straight would have special meaning for me.

Gay boys just wanna have fun.

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