Fags Before Flags, and other in-your-face t-shirts

(Plain talk about men’s bodies and sexual practices, so use your judgment.)

Thanks to Greg Parkinson for a link to this John Crisvitello t-shirt:


The slogan is a send-up of the odious BROS BEFORE HOS, preserving only the rhyming, the street language, and a message about balancing allegiances. My reading of the slogan is that it calls for gay men to generally value bonds to other gay men — fags stand with fags — over the sorts of allegiances expressed in flags: nationality, regional identity, religion, race and ethnicity, political affiliation, etc.

Earlier on this blog, a 3/27/17 posting about (among other things) Michael Kimmel on the slogan  “Bros Before Hos”:

the basic rules of masculinity … have scarcely changed at all for many decades; the first rule is that “masculinity is the relentless repudiation of the feminine”

“Fags Before Flags” is, in contrast, a call for solidarity and tolerance.

Crisvitello’s studio offers a variety of outrageous t-shirts, including several that aren’t WordPressable because of their high phallicity. Three of these are now viewable in a posting on AZBlogX, “Cocktees”. The studio’s descriptions for them:

#1 What do you get when you cross 70’s uncut Tony Danza goodness with punk troll Danzig / DANZAIG !!!!!!!!

#2 Raising Cock Holster Awareness since May 2017

#3 Wish You Were Here [an invitation to being bukkake’d]

In #1 we see a naked cross between actor Tony Danza and punk rocker Glenn Danzig, featuring the composite Danzaig’s cock. On Danzig, from Wikipedia:


Glenn Danzig (born Glenn Allen Anzalone, June 23, 1955) is an American singer, songwriter and musician from Lodi, New Jersey. He is the founder of the bands Misfits, Samhain, and Danzig. He owns the Evilive record label as well as Verotik, an adult-oriented comic book publishing company.

Having begun in the mid-1970s, Danzig’s musical career has encompassed a number of genres through the years, including punk rock, heavy metal, industrial, blues and classical music. He has also written songs for other musicians, most notably Johnny Cash and Roy Orbison.

Danzig has made a career out of acting and talking outrageously, so the idea of a hybrid between his persona and Tony Danza’s genial, playful persona is intrinsically comical.

#2 comes right from the headlines, by way of the May 1st episode of CBS’s Late Show With Stephen Colbert, in which Colbert ripped into POTUS and declared, “The only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin’s cock holster” — using the compound cock holster ‘mouth (esp. for the purpose of fellatio)’. You can watch the passage here, but note that the YouTube video bleeps the word cock.

Meanwhile, the t-shirt in #2 shows a sizable (simulacrum of an) erect cock jutting out of a gun holster, rather than ramming into it, so that the fellatial interpretation is obscured. Well, art is hard.

Finally, the tank top in #3 has a line drawing of six erect cocks pointed into the central space, which has “wish you were here” in it: we want to shoot our loads on you, bukkake-boy..

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