Codpiece swim trunks!

(Obviously not to everyone’s taste: consider the title and #1 below.)

This morning’s genital surprise from Daily Jocks, the Alpha Swim Trunk for the alpha dog, the big dog on the beach:

(#1) [ad copy:] ALPHA SWIM TRUNK: Available in 3 colours [black, white, blue]. Like a little more coverage but still want to show off your assets? The Alpha Swim Trunk [from Elia beachwear] has you covered.

Obviously enhanced somehow, but nowhere I could find on the DJ site is there any information about how the Elia company achieves its codpiece swim trunks. Way past moose-knuckling and into massive hood-ornament territory.

I find codpieces entertaining, because they’re so earnestly blatant: pure display, giving no hint as to the size of the equipment within, in fact hinting that the codpiece is entirely compensatory. That huge bulge in #1 doesn’t look life a gigantic penis, it looks like a big  pillow. Obviously, what it needs is some metal spikes, as singer Adam Lambert projects here:

(#2) “High energy, gigantic fantasy dick, decked out in spikes for figurative battle” (from my 4/17/11 posting “Bulges”, about codpieces)

But then Lambert is openly, celebratorily gay, and his costume above is a deliberate joke.The model in #1, on the other hand, just looks dead earnest.

Then a 7/23/17 posting “Codpieces on Cellblock 13”, on Hybrid Shorts, which amount to a codpiece; links to two earlier postings on codpieces, the 4/17/11 “Bulges” piece and from 11/17/15, “Alaskan cod-pieces”:

The codpiece is cousin to the jockstrap, the thong, and pouch-enhancing underwear — all clothing focusing on a man’s package … Add to this the celebration of Batman and Robin’s packages in the 1997 movie Batman & Robin:

(#3) Everything in excess: George Clooney’s and Chris O’Donnell’s characters in their often-derided costumes; [AZ opinion:] what a waste of amiably masculine actors

Now awaiting fresh appearances of the Alpha Swim Trunk in DJ mailings. Stay tuned for updates.


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