Arnold Zwicky's Blog

This is the first part of three telling a story about Jacques’s and my sexual lives together. All parts of the story are entirely unsuitable for kids and the sexually modest.

This part — “Manual labor” — is about a project of J’s, to become (in effect) the world’s authority on how to please me by masturbating me.

An enterprise that involved studying, at great length, how I jacked myself off, then reproducing my technique as faithfully as possible — but since the sensation of being jacked off by another man can’t be identical to the sensation of jacking yourself off (in fact, it has the potential for being even more satisfying, since the two-man act, versus the solitary act, is an occasion of genuine sexual connection), J also experimented with small variations in his techniques of jacking me off, until he could reliably supply a thoroughly satisfying experience for me, often subtly different on different occasions. (And all this was amplified by exchanges of facial expressions and verbalizations of many kinds.)

J’s project was an expression of great love, magnificently achieved. I have never felt more intensely attended to.

Part two of the story is, alas, “Decline”, in which J’s sexual abilities disintegrate, fairly rapidly, to zero, though he still sometimes recalled his intense desire to please me. Even jacking me off eventually failed; his attention wandered, and once, to his mortification, he just fell asleep mid-act and didn’t know where he was when he came to (or why he had my dick in his hand).

In part three, “Superbowl Sunday”, J transcends these failures of the body and mind to give me one more great gift of love.

(I remind you that all this is also about sweaty, noisy, animal sex.)

Meanwhile, this first part provokes some extended posting — mostly in separate postings — on male masturbation, the linguistic usages associated with it, and its functions in the world of men who have sex with men.

Let’s jack off. I have already described J’s project of manual labor. Here, a bit of setting it in context, from a 12/9/12 posting of mine, “Coming back to life” (about my return, after hip-replacement surgery, to a program of regularly, and happily, jacking off.). First, however, a musical interlude, Prince’s “Jack U Off”.

The Pansy Division version

If you’re looking for somewhere to go
Thought I’d take you to a movie show
Sitting in the back and I’ll jack you off
I can’t give you everything you want
But I can take you to a restaurant
If you’re not hungry
I’ll jack you off.

(The song was originally addressed to a woman, but this part can be read either way. And Pansy Division just treats it as celebratorily addressed to a man.)

From “Coming back to life”:

[medical people] probably have very little sense of just how central jacking off is for gay men. (Listen to Pansy Division rolling through Prince’s “Jack U Off!”) (On my part, it took me a great many years to realize just how profoundly little I knew about the sex lives of straight guys, beyond the most superficial understanding.)

… in the larger sexual world of gay men, jacking off plays a whole series of roles. In cruising for casual sex, jacking off (slowly and intently) works as an offer of your dick to other men, a lure for everything else that might come. In intimate relationships, jacking off is at the least a companionable connection with another man, sometimes the main sexual event on its own. Guys jack off together, face to face (giving a tinge of male competitiveness and challenge) or, an old favorite of mine, side by side, with plenty of kissing and stroking and verbal appreciation. (Jacques and I used to do that fairly often, when we had the luxury of being sexually available to each other most of the day and night, so we were under no particular pressure to make every connection a world-class suck or fuck.)

And of course gay guys jack each other off, simultaneously or (as many guys prefer) taking turns, so that their attention is undivided at each point. That’s an especially intimate act, since each man has his own jack-off style, developed and practiced from childhood; satisfying another man deeply means you need to get into these preferences and techniques. ([As I wrote above,] Jacques had my number perfectly …  and I was pretty good for him, though I had to take special care not to chafe his uncut cock. His was the first uncut cock I was close to on a daily basis.)

And lots of guys finish off other kinds of sex by jacking off (themselves or their partner) — either for the sake of supersafe sex (no coming in your man’s mouth, or in a condom in his ass, since condoms do break) or, more often, just for the theatrical show of shooting your load for your man.

This entry was posted on December 30, 2020 at 10:15 am and is filed under Gender and sexuality, Language of sex, Music, My life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.