Let them eat cake

(Totally unsuitable for kids and the sexually modest.)

From the Raging Stallion gay porn studio, the 2020 flick Cake Shop, focused on cake ‘buttock’ and especially on cum as a culinary ingredient. The cover of the video, with the naughty bits fuzzed out:


(#1) At the top: Devin Trez, Jake Nicola, Wade Wolfgar — Trez and Wolfgar with long pendulous half-hard cocks you can view in an AZBlogX posting “Cake Shop” — and  below them, Beaux Banks and Donnie Argento, cupcakes in their mouths, their cakes (‘buttocks’) offered for fucking

There is much play on cakes ‘buttocks’ and on eating cum (that’s a queer thing).

Background: cakes and cum. Previously on this blog, in my 7/18/20 posting “Buttocks IV: cake(s) and tail”, on cake, cakes (and tail) as buttocks references:

both PL C[ount] cakes and M[ass] cake are slang of long standing, having been attested for at least 50 years

The posting then has a survey section on the usages.

Also, two postings on cum, seminophilia, and cum in or as food:

on 5/22/18, in “The cumless cake”, on semen and seminophilia:

Actual cupcakes or larger cakes with a cum garnish or with a creamy topping of cum are sometimes depicted in porn, and maybe also composed in real life

on 3/18/19, “Cum, sweat, and broccoli”, on cum in or as food, and on the magical properties of cum

Raging Stallion’s cake shop. The Raging Stallion summary of the flick is itself an over-the-top romp in advertising copy and porn talk, quite entertaining. The p.r. text (with some bits of porn-talk register highlighted in boldface):

Raging Stallion’s busy, bareback bakery ‘Cake Shop’ takes you on a behind the scenes look at two guys, a gay bakery dream and some very special ingredients! A sexually intense, gay porn comedic romp written and directed by award winner Steve Cruz, ‘Cake Shop’ delivers a hilarious group of all-natural, creampie kinksters who drop a lot of icing on each other’s cakes. Ex-lovers Wade Wolfgar and Jake Nicola set up shop, and their bareback bakery starts booming.


(#2) An amiable, high-macho Jake Nicola with a tiered tray of cupcakes (Jake happens to be one of my fantasy-men’s sex names; and Nicola comes with a furry chest, furry forearms, and furry thighs that stir my faggot desires — but that’s just my taste. Gay porn tries to supply something for everyone, of course, but this is a bingo for me)

Filling a special order for Donnie Argento’s first anniversary cake for his husband Sharok, Jake Nicola gets nasty with a raw three way right on the countertop. Donnie squats on a delectable dessert and Jake and Sharok bury their faces in the frosting, till their hardcore vers[atile] three way leaves Jake glazed in cum. Wade hires an assistant, sexy smartass Beaux Banks, who sneaks huge hung fuck buddy Devin Trez thru the back door to pound his back door. In the spirit of equality, the ‘Cake Shop’ caters to couples with differing beliefs, like a fictitious MAGA supporter played by Ricky Larkin and his antivax bride — till Beaux sabotages their big day and the new cashier, Draven Navarro, has to assuage the rage of the horned-up Ricky and drain his bull balls with a wet mouth and hot hungry hole. Health inspector Cain Marko pops by for a surprise visit, and Wade will do anything to make up for their code violations, including violating the inspector on the kitchen counter. With his job on the line, Beaux cooks up a scheme to ditch the cake shop for good. He calls up bad boy Romeo Davis for some booty call baby batter. As the health department finally puts an end to the rainbow confections, Draven Navarro comes up with a plan to save the business — by turning it into a porn studio with big dick stud Jason Vario fucking the daylights out of him. Jake and Wade face a bright new future, proving you can have your cock and eat it too, only at Raging Stallion’s ‘Cake Shop’!

The description of scene 1, which is even more over-the-top; I don’t recall having seen perky hole for a type of asshole before (many decades ago, when I had a side career as a sweet and easy fuck, I got a number of compliments on the attractions of my asshole, but never perky. Definitely a gigglicious adjective.)

Cake Shop’ owner, Jake Nicola greets his old flame Donnie Argento, who wants to surprise his husband, Sharok, with a special cake for their first anniversary. The secret ingredient he wants to add is his own jizz as the cream filling. Donnie is hot to trot and wants to extract it with Jake’s help, but the chef wisely suggests that they include his man. Sharok arrives, and the horny trio convene in the bakery for a three-way, bareback flip fuck with Donnie nude in position on the counter: rock hard cock, beefy butt and perky hole at the ready. Jake and Sharok strip down and take turns eating his ass, especially after Donnie squats down on the special dessert and gets his own cakes covered in frosting. Licking him clean, the boys get him primed and ready for a raw, deep-dick fuck as Jake’s thick prick pries Donnie’s ass open, and Sharok’s huge tool gets in for sweet, sloppy seconds. Donnie gives as good as he gets and he fucks his hubby hard, then climbs on the counter to sit on Jake while Sharok bangs the baker. Sharok blasts his seed in Jake’s hairy hole till Jake blows a load on his furry belly, then guzzles Donnie’s jizz in a cum-thirsty finish.

(Maybe perky is just part of ornamental adjective-talk in the gay porn register: horny trio, rock hard cock, beefy butt, perky hole, thick prick, huge tool, hairy hole, furry belly.)

On the matter of the construction of gay male sexual lives in porn (rather than the language used), I  remind you that the porn world is unrealistically fuck-oriented (sucking cock and getting sucked are the central features of everyday gay life; a fair number of men have no special interest in fucks, and for others they’re special events). But in gay porn, the slogan is pretty much:

Real Men love taking it up the ass.

It would actually please me if this attitude spread more widely (not just because when I was sexually active, I loved taking it up the ass), if only because it would help to subvert the intense misogyny that attends on women’s being the receptive partners in fucking, and then spreads to deep contempt for gay men, who are seen as utterly failed men, because, like women, they take dick (in their mouths or in their assholes, but anyway into their bodies).

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