Beach bare

(On appallingly bad taste in menswear, also about men’s underwear and its contents, but without dwelling on the anatomy and without any mansex at all — so tasteless, but not over-the-line raunchy.)

From the bottomless annals of preposterous men’s underwear: transparent polyester beach shorts. To add to see-through mesh underwear and many much more outrageous garments chronicled in my postings over the years (see my Page on underwear postings).

An illustration:


(#1) MaverickSwim brand “Berlin Transparent Waterproof Shorts” ($26.99) with neon orange trim (also available in neon lime trim), shown here worn over  minibriefs for modesty (but in matching orange, as a fashion statement)

They look hugely uncomfortable, whatever their value as crotch display cases. As Ellen Evans advised on Facebook:

plastic clothes: just say no

(Hat tip to Aric Olnes, who pointed me towards this fresh vein of outrageous homowear.)

Ad copy from the MaverickSwim site (reproduced here without editing):

The next generation of transparent beach shorts is here! Berlin waterproof transparent shorts are completely see-through and leave it totally up to you if you wanna wear a colorful statement speedo underneath or just go bare for fun! The polyester shorts come with neon lining that makes you pop out of the crowds! Exclusive limited edition – get yours now!
*the briefs inside are not included! 

Another variant, in white, with pockets:


(#2) More from MaverickSwim: “Ibiza Swim Shorts” ($19.99)

The ad copy (editorial note as above):

Caution alert! These Swim Shorts in sheer material in white are not for the shy fellas! They are completely see through, and it is totally up to you if you wanna wear them just by themselves with the included white lining, which keeps you more private. Optionally you can customise the shorts to your liking, by taking out the inner lining and wear it with a colorful tanga [type of thong underwear] instead, or just bare!

Aric’s alert led me to a New York Post piece “Clear shorts leave absolutely nothing to the imagination” by Zachary Kussin on 8/9/19, who observed that

nothing for sale on the MaverickSwim site — whose styles appear to be marketed toward gay men — is for the modest. Think leopard-print thongs ($9.94) and lace-up mesh trunks ($16.99).

Their offerings are indeed entertaining. Think of it as performance art.

MaverickSwim is far from the only transparent-homowear game in town. The International Jock site (which I’ve written about a number of times), for instance, offers McKillop Ice transparent plastic shorts (in polyester for $38) and Rufskin Nuage translucent pocket shorts (in nylon for $72). Hey, high-end beach bare doesn’t come cheap.

 

3 Responses to “Beach bare”

  1. kenru Says:

    I sort of like the color coordination of the orange stripe with the orange undergarment. Say what you will; but it looks cool.

  2. Gadi Says:

    I was thinking it might be hot for my boyfriend (if I had one) to slip these on, come into the room with me, show his goods, and then slip them off. (A total of about two minutes’ wearing time.) Then I considered the fact that the plastic would be extremely ungiving, so a soft dick would get smooshed against it and look weird, while a hard dick would strain against the plastic and be very uncomfortable.

  3. Arnold Zwicky Says:

    Bravx!

    As for practicalities, let me recommend a snap-pouch jockstrap in a soft breathable fabric and fashion-forward colors. (For beaches where bare-assed isn’t a legal option, the corresponding jock brief with snap-fastened rear panel.) In any case, easy-on, easy-off for the exigencies of the moment; comfortable; and stunning to look at.

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