Arnold Zwicky's Blog

It’s Ridiculistmas Season again. This year’s offerings include music, food, decorations, clothing, and seasonal shirtlessness. Chapter 1, a regional musical treat (from Mill Valley, in Marin County) for the season, “Santa Lost a Ho”:

The album cover

Heard on KRCB (public radio in Santa Rosa CA) on Tuesday. And again on Wednesday. When it came around again yesterday, I looked it up and discovered that it was a local, North Bay, thing. It’s on the album, and you can watch a live performance here —

“Santa Lost a Ho” by The Christmas Jug Band at The Masonic Lodge in Mill Valley 12/21/09. Band: Paul Rogers, vocal & piano; Austin deLone, guitar; Tim Eschliman, percussion & kazoo; Dan Hicks, percussion; Jim Rothermel, clarinet; Turtle Vandermarr, guitar; Blake Richardson, bass; Gregory Leroy Dewey, drums; with Bonnie Hayes sitting in on percussion. Video by Marianna August.

Some of the lyrics, packed with double entendres: a lot of mileage from ho the interjection vs. ho ‘whore, prostitute’, plus getting a doll in the sack (doll ‘woman’; get s.o. in the sack ‘bed s.o., have sex wth s.o.’):

Santa used to like to chuckle.
He’s always been a bellyful of laughs,
Sittin’ in his Santa Claus chair
Posing for the photographs.
But now he don’t laugh so much,
In fact, about one-third less.

Old Saint Nick got a problem.
Man, he’s in an awful mess.
‘Cause he used to go ‘ho-ho-ho’,
Now he’s only goin’ ‘ho-ho’ (Oh-oh! Where’d the other ho go?).
I don’t know.
But Santa’s feelin’ mighty low.
He used to do ‘hidey-ho’,
Now he’s only doing ‘hidey-‘ (Oh-oh! (typewriter ding) Where’d the other ho go?).
I don’t know, Santa lost a ho.

Now, Santa’s been doin’ his best
To get into the Christmas mood.
Keepin’ his little elves happy,
He’s the number one Christmas dude.
But there ain’t no joy,
‘Cause just one toy
Is missin’ from Santa’s shack.

He never had a doll go AWOL
Once he got her in the sack.
‘Cause he used to go ‘ho-ho-ho’,
Now he’s only goin’ ‘ho-ho’ (Oh-oh! (whizz) Where’d the other ho go?).
I don’t know,
But Santa’s feelin’ mighty low.

This entry was posted on December 15, 2017 at 10:49 am and is filed under Double entendres, Holidays, Language of sex, Music. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.