Another phenomenally bad idea

(Mostly about food, but there’s a mansex interlude, so be warned.)

A couple days ago it was (thanks to Margalit Fox) the hologram-bunny (a hollusion) that comes to life to decorate homes and parties. I’m not quite sure why the idea struck so many people (including Margalit and me) as disturbing, but it was. Now comes an edible counterpart, but this time I think I understand the source of the unease that it arouses.

Reported by Kim Darnell, this is Delighted By (sometimes: delighted by) dessert hummus. On the grocery shelf:

(#1)

It comes in four flavors: Brownie Batter, Snickerdoodle, Orange Dreamsickle, Vanilla Bean.

Thing is, hummus is a savory food, and these flavors are all sweet (apparently, achingly so).

A refresher on hummus (treated in a 10/13/13 posting): it’s a savory dipspread consisting of mashed chickpeas blended with tahini [a paste of ground raw sesame seeds], olive oil, lemon juice, salt, and garlic. (Dipspread is my name for the category of foodstuffs used as dips or spreads.)

Fancier images (with hummus in conjunction with other foodstuffs), from the Delighted By website:

(#2)

(#3)

To come: first, a digression about the company’s passionate, save-the-world, mission. Then a further digression on another company with a similar mission, this time involving performing fellatio rather than consuming hummus: eat hummus and save the world, eat dick and save the world (I am not making any of this up). Third, on the opposition of sweet and savory foods. Fourth, on foods that (like dessert hummus) violate this opposition: think clams with maple syrup, or strawberry jam on prime rib.

Dessert hummus will elevate the consciousness of humanity. From the DB company’s website:

DB MISSION: How we came about making dessert hummus isn’t nearly as important as why we do so. When people ask us why we do what we do, we simply respond with ”We’re just spreading our glitter.” Of course we source quality ingredients. Of course we refuse to use animal products, gluten, preservatives or GMOs. But what truly sets Delighted By apart is our mission to expand beyond just the nutritional component of our hummus. With DB’s purpose to elevate the consciousness of humanity, we bring additional focus to the energetic vibration of the food we create. From Day 1, our conscious production practices have set the tone for the impact we can and will have on the world. Our example in how we lead Delighted By is an invitation to others to live in full freedom and delight with us. Our INTENTION is to create such a high-vibrational product and brand that it reminds people of their Truth: Who they are, Where they come from, and the Light they possess within. We are DELIGHTED BY the opportunity to serve at such a high level in this lifetime. When our team, our product and our brand inspires humanity to spread their own glitter, that is when we are in integrity with the true DB Mission.

I’m going to let this statement of purpose just stand there on its own, in its glittery aura.

Another way to spread your glitter: Glitter and Be Gay (song title from the musical Candide). About the video Suck Dick Save The World, from Paul Morris’s Treasure Island Media (“Sucking cock and swallowing loads – it’s the best thing one man can do for the world”), on the company’s website:

(Starring: Jerry Stearns, James Roscoe, Marcus Iron, Sage Daniels, Nick Forte, George Glass. Directed & Produced By: Paul Morris) Some men say cocksucking isn’t really sex. In this Paul Morris Cocksucking Masterpiece it’s more than “just sex.” Cocksucking is a way of life.

“It’s a way of life,” says Paul Morris. “A means of communion and communication. Whether it’s in a room filled with a dozen buddies or in front of a gloryhole, sucking cock is life at its best. Sure, for some it’s a warm-up for fucking. But for many men — myself included — cocksucking is why we were born.

“So when I say, Suck Dick, Save the World, I mean it. And it isn’t just the world you’ll be saving — it’s yourself. Every session from this video is an honest and scorching example of the true art of sucking cock. My goal in making it is to inspire you to go out and suck off a horny man or to open your pants, pull out your cock and give a cocksucker the time of his life.”

On AZBlogX today, a posting (“Paul Morris’s dick frenzy”) with covers from the first SDSTW and from volumes 2, 3, 5, and 6, plus two front covers for Morris’s Drunk on Cum and DOC6. Phallic overload, phenomenal devotion. What could I add?

The opposition of sweet and savory. There’s the famous opposition of the raw and the cooked. Then there’s the sweet (sugary, often fruity, sometimes sour) vs. the savory (meaty, umami, usually salty or spicy),: two taste-based categories of foods that figure in a number of cuisines. (In English, the terms sweet and savory are used as category labels by food writers and the like, but aren’t necessarily understood as (semi-)technical terms by ordinary people.)

There’s a category of foodstuffs that are vehicles for fillings or toppings: soft flatbreads, tortillas, pancakes, waffles, crêpes, Indian dosas, Chinese bing. These are typically neutral as between sweet and savory (though they can incorporate ingredients that make them one or another). There’s no standard label for the category; here’s I’ll call them crepetillas. As neutral vehicles, they’re compatible with either sweet or savory, and discussions of particular crepetillas often distinguish the two uses.

For instance, a crêpes site gives separate lists of sweet and savory fillings for them. Summarizing:

sweet fillings: Nutella, peanut butter (commercial peanut butter is quite sweet with corn syrup), chocolate, fruit preserves or jam, fresh fruit (especially bananas, fresh peaches, raspberries, sliced cherries), sweetened ricotta, dulce de leche, roasted nuts (especially almonds, walnuts, pecans)

savory fillings: sautéed vegetables (mushrooms, caramelized onions, spinach, roasted red peppers), pulled pork or chicken (perhaps with barbecue sauce), eggs  (fried, poached, scrambled), cheese (goat cheese, blue cheese, shredded gouda, cheddar, feta), beans (navy, pinto, garbanzo, or black beans), pickled vegetables, sour cream or unsweetened ricotta

Two or more items from one category can be combined in one crêpe, but an item from one category generally can’t be combined with an item from the other, Nutella and blue cheese? Pulled pork and banana slices?

In a similar vein, ordinary tacos are tortillas filled with a combination of savory ingredients (beef, pork, chicken, seafood, vegetables, or cheese).  But a HuffPo piece lists “17 Tacos That Dare To Be Dessert”, which are filled with things like chocolate, coconut, ice cream, bananas, diced fruit, berries, and Nutella.

And in the waffle section of my 2/1/12 posting “Waffles and gnocchi”, I wrote about topping unsweetened waffles with either sweet stuff (maple syrup, jams, etc.) or savory stuff (dilled shrimp in cream sauce, saumon fromage, bits of chicken, beef, or pork in gravy, cheese sauce, sour cream, etc.).

Violations. If you’re trying to eat kosher, you don’t mix meat and dairy. And whatever your religious inclinations, you generally don’t mix sweet and savory (though there are exceptions, like various meats with sour fruit sauces or glazes — duck à l’orange, red wine cherry sauce for meat, Chinese sweet-and-sour dishes — and meat or poultry dishes with Mexican mole sauce, in which chocolate counteracts the heat of chili peppers).

Dessert hummus violates the principle, as do some of the dreadful combinations I’ve mentioned above in passing. And that brings me to #1 in a 6/15/14 posting featuring a Rhymes With Orange cartoon “Chocolates for Men: The Whitman’s Savory Sampler”, where the Father’s Day chocolate box offers:

General Tso’s Crunch, Shepherd’s Pie Parfait, Beef Tender Caramel, Nacho Cluster, Beer Cordial, Hot Wing Truffle, Pizza Crème, Bar-B-Chew

But then some people seem to think that anything tastes better with chocolate on it, or in it. And if you’re a real guy, beer goes with anything, including baklava, cherry pie, and chocolate cheescake.

4 Responses to “Another phenomenally bad idea”

  1. Sim Aberson Says:

    In Cuban cuisine, you *must* have something sweet along with your savory dishes. That’s why plátanos maduros are ubiquitous – sweet with the savory. Locally, many order dessert with their meal, and eat it together, if there isn’t anything sweet offered on the plate.

    • Robert Coren Says:

      That’s not quite the same as combining them in one dish, as in sweet hummus, where you cannot avoid having both in the same mouthful.

  2. Alon Says:

    Actually, I think that “you generally don’t mix sweet and savory” is a bit of an overstatement.

    As you mention, fruit sauces for meat dishes are quite ubiquitous (including many recipes for pork, even pulled pork, with bananas as a side). But sweet-and-savoury combinations go far beyond that: from maple-glazed bacon to carbonada (beef stew with peaches) to the endless salads involving pears and blue cheese to Galizianer gefilte fish.

    I’m not a food historian, but I’d bet dollars to doughnuts that the centrality of the sweet/savoury distinction is a peculiarity of the post-Medieval European cuisines.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: