BCNÜ

(Lots of gay sex stuff in here, so use your judgment.)

The most recent Daily Jocks ad:

  (#1)

BCNÜ have launched their all new Varsity collection of sports tanks and shorts!
The slick, sporty gear has been designed for the active man, with form-fitting contouring and mesh paneling for extra breathability.
Both tanks and shorts are made from polyester and elastane fabric and come in 3 color styles so you can match up your complete workout look!

The ad inspired me to write a fantasy short story, in the form of (relatively) long-line free verse.

Bradley Chase and Charlie Nash
Fled their home towns at 19 to
Seek a life of gay porn in
San Francisco.

Both were solidly gay, loved sex with
Other men, loved displaying themselves
Theatrically, both had gorgeous bodies –
Part a gift of nature, part
Hard work at the gym – both
Enthusiastic, inventively dirty, fiercely
Energetic, versatile, and

Mostly oblivious to the indignities of
The business, surmounting the need to maintain endless
Hard-ons, meeting the challenge of being paired with
Strangers to perform a long menu of
Sex acts, no choice of their own, even
Coming to wryly enjoy douching their manholes.

They kept their initials, performing as
B.C. and C.N. and under the cheesy
Porn names Baloney Cumming and
Cocky Naked. They fell in love, thinking
No one else could appreciate them
The way they appreciated each other. They
Parlayed their porn fame into steady
Incomes as rentboys and giving live
Sex shows. They were married at
SexHawk Studios in S.F. in June 2008.

They left SexHawk a few years later to form
Their own portmanteau production company, BCN,
Churning out outrageous in-your-face flicks, starting with
Faggot Sluts, that also managed to be both
Funny and romantic.

Then they discovered BCNÜ and
Took it on as their company brand: their
Actors would disport themselves in
Prominently labeled BCNÜ gym gear, until their
Engorged cocks and balls burst out of the
Skimpy (but eminently comfortable) garments and
The boys ripped them off each other’s bodies and
Went at it like crazed minks —

A sturdy formula that earned them a small
Fortune, though they still hustled for money,
Just for the pleasure of giving their johns
What they needed.

Notes:

The referential ambiguity in the last line — does they refer to the johns or to B.C. and C.N.? — is intentional.

As far as I can tell, Baloney Cumming and Cocky Naked have not been used as names by any gay porn actors.

There’s also no gay porn SexHawk Studios (meant to suggest Falcon Studios), but sexhawk has been used as a name in several contexts, most notably as the name of a “Minnesota sleaze rock” band (link here). A thumbnail:

(#2)

Nicely sleazy album title — plus a crude crotch grab.

I don’t think Faggot Sluts has been used as the name of a gay porn flick, but  the expression faggot slut is so widely used that I could be wrong. Bonus here: a new posting on AZBlogX, “The pleasure of humiliation”, with a thoroughly X-rated BDSM image with the caption “Two faggot sluts being led by their worthless dicks”.

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