It just got bigger

From the Daily Jocks people, announcing a sale (the savings just got bigger) and also toying with the idea of penis enlargement. And then there’s a point about the semantics / pragmatics of just, which I’ll get at by adding three captions to this photo:

1. The satisfied customer:

A little while ago, they promised
Immediate effects and
Christ, just now I could
Feel my dick thickening and
Lengthening. Great service!

2. The dissatisfied customer:

They promised erections that were
Bigger and
Harder and
Lasted longer, but
All I got was the
Size — a big but
Limpish dick with
No staying power. Just
The size, not the
Whole package.

3. The baffled guy:

I was toweling off
At the gym, when
Suddenly I got
Bull balls and a
Horse dick. Spontaneously.
No cause I could see,
No expectation on my part. It
Just happened.

Some linguistics. There are three distinguishable uses of just here:

‘just now, or very recently’

‘only, without anything else happening’

‘spontaneously, without evident cause’

It’s not clear to me what a good semantic / pragmatic analysis of these uses would be, but it’s certainly clear that the differences can lead to misunderstandings: it just happened (spontaneously, or just now); I just asked (only, or just now).

The underwear model appears to be mulling over which use is intended.

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