Pub(l)ic notice

Posted by Jonathan Stover on Facebook:

Well, it might or might not be genuine, but it’s entertaining. And notice that it has a characteristic feature of many notices prohibiting acts: its indirection. It dosn’t say “Don’t masturbate in the showers”; it tells you instead that doing so violates a code. And then it tells you to masturbate in your own room, meaning, instead of in the showers — you’re supposed to work that out from the context — but it doesn’t say that, so it can be understood as an instruction to go and masturbate in your own room. Now.

I haven’t found anything on the UMass Housing Code, outside of this notice. And I’m dubious about the semen buildup in the drains. I do like the instruction to see your RA with any questions you might have. Do RAs give advice about jacking off?

4 Responses to “Pub(l)ic notice”

  1. Victor Steinbok Says:

    One thing that this notice lacks is an appropriate symbol, a “no-masturbation” icon, resembling a proscribing road sign.

    On another level, this reminds me of the headline in the Ohio State paper in the spring of 1988 (complete with photos of stained stacks): “Sperm Cleanup Begins at the Library”.

  2. Michael Says:

    The best part is the “excessive amounts of semen.” Ok, I gotta stop I’m getting a visual of all those horny UMass undergraduates… stop, stop,

  3. Annals of ejaculation | Arnold Zwicky's Blog Says:

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