Heard on an old episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, a reference to some films as “primo monkey-spank material”. Similarly:

Most men probably only know American Apparel as primo monkey-spank material. But there are a few men who actually wear the clothing. (link)

Now a few words on morphological developments from the colorful euphemistic idiom spank the / one’s monkey ‘masturbate’.

N + N compounds. I’ll start with various N + N compounds monkey-spank with the verb spank nouned:

(a) ‘male masturbation’; the sense above

(b) ‘a jackoff’, that is, a man who wastes his time in figurative or literal masturbation (figuratively, by playing computer games or the like); often used as an insult (“you (stupid) monkey-spank”, “you’re such a monkey-spank”)

(c) ‘semen, sperm, jizz’, that is, the product of masturbation; no doubt encouraged by the phonological similarity of spank to spunk (“monkey-spank on my keyboard”)

A synthetic compound. The object monkey in spank the money can be incorporated in the synthetic compound monkey-spanking. Some entertaining cites:

Monkey Spanking Happening, Only In SFO
… have fun at this group genitalia fondling Wack Fest San Francisco SOMA happening. (link)

Venice [CA] Wants Higher Fences, Less Monkey-Spanking
… One lady said she wanted higher fences because she once saw a guy “jerking off right in front of her house.” (link)

Monkey Spanking on a plane
… As the jet taxied for take-off Mr Prendeville was seen to expose himself and masturbate as he sat in his seat. Mr Prendeville was seated in the front row of the aircraft facing two air hostesses. He was flanked by a female passenger to his right in a window seat and a male passenger to his left in an aisle seat. (link)

Back-formation. From a synthetic compound, we can get a back-formed two-part verb to monkey-spank, as here:

Stop trying to monkey spank intellectually and argue reason (link)

i need it for both hands when i monkey spank (link)

(In the first of these, as in sense (b) for the noun monkey-spank, we see the familiar framing of masturbation as worthless, unproductive activity — earlier mention here.)


2 Responses to “monkey-spank”

  1. Ben Zimmer Says:

    Green’s Dictionary of Slang dates “spank the monkey” to 1985 (from Connie Eble’s Campus Slang), though the 1994 David O. Russell movie Spanking the Monkey no doubt introduced it to a wider audience.


    in Ukraine there`s “to suffocate a gnome”. I find the american expression also funny.

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