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The Xmas package

From Undergear today, a holiday offer with a pun on package:

The model is presenting his (genital) package as a gift package. On offer on the site is this remarkable California Muscle® Under World Jockstrap (model costs extra):

With a description emphasizing the sexual properties of the clothing:

Made with bold silver accents, this tough-looking jockstrap will help you make someone an offer they can’t refuse. The pouch and waistband come together at a silver ring that lets everyone know just what kind of a hardware you’re packing. Made from a comfortable nylon/spandex blend, this jockstrap underwear is designed to leave a lasting impression.

“Just what kind of a hardware you’re packing” has a play on the verb packing and on the noun hardware, plus the treatment of hardware as a count noun, with the determiner a — “countification”, as discussed on Language Log here.

Similar usages aren’t hard to find. One example with a:

I am not egocentric, all I would like to do is to collect information for people (like me) that wonder what kind of a hardware they really bought. (link)

And plural hardwares ‘pieces of hardware’ is incredibly common, as in this example:

i have my numark total control and 2 technics 1200 mk2 and my sl3 hardware how do i connect the hardwares to work together (link)

This entry was posted on December 15, 2010 at 9:22 am and is filed under Conversion, Gender and sexuality, Language of clothing, Language play, Modification, Puns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

8 Responses to “The Xmas package”

  1. Rick Sprague Says:
    December 15, 2010 at 9:48 am | Reply

    “…this jockstrap underwear is designed to leave a lasting impression.” As tight as jocks typically are in my experience, I should think it would. Looks distinctly uncomfortable to me. But (with apologies to Keats) beauty is pain, pain beauty.

  2. arnold zwicky Says:
    December 16, 2010 at 7:11 am | Reply

    And note that the hunky jockstrap model has a completely shaven-smooth crotch. The saying goes: when there’s no underbrush, the tree looks taller.

  3. The Xmas package 2 « Arnold Zwicky's Blog Says:
    December 17, 2010 at 7:32 am | Reply

    […] is at it again, with another Christmas package for lovers of the male body and visual puns — this time with no visible underwear at […]

  4. Expressive matter/material « Arnold Zwicky's Blog Says:
    December 21, 2010 at 5:21 pm | Reply

    […] it’s subject to countification (see here and here), as in this piece of Alabama legal code, with the relevant occurrence boldfaced: Property subject […]

  5. More underwear links « Arnold Zwicky's Blog Says:
    February 3, 2011 at 10:27 am | Reply

    […] 12/15/10: The Xmas package (link). Undergear ad. With a pun on package, plus a remarkable jockstrap and a note on […]

  6. Jockstraps « Arnold Zwicky's Blog Says:
    May 6, 2011 at 9:00 am | Reply

    […] rainbow flagwear”, here) and then three remarkable items in “The Xmas package” (here), “The Xmas package 3″ (here), and “The Xmas package 4″ (here). […]

  7. software development « Arnold Zwicky's Blog Says:
    September 19, 2011 at 8:20 am | Reply

    […] reported for PORN, PORNO, and SLANG — here. I have since added FOLKLORE to this list, and, in a later posting, HARDWARE in the both the sexual and the computer sense, and, in still a later posting, EXPRESSIVE […]

  8. Rudy the Christmas Elf « Arnold Zwicky's Blog Says:
    December 5, 2011 at 8:32 am | Reply

    […] as background one of Undergear’s suggestive “Xmas package” ads from last year (here), with a holiday double dactyl […]

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