Today’s Bizarro, with the suggestive word screwage:
It turns out that screwage is attested in at least three senses, involving differet bases screw and different uses of the derivational suffix -age.
First, there’s the screwage the waiter intended, which is in OED2, where, however, it’s marked as rare:
The action or process of screwing.
with only one cite:
1865 T. Carlyle Hist. Friedrich II of Prussia VI. xx. vi. 146 The Butes and Hardwickes working incessantly with such rare power of leverage and screwage in the interior parts.
Then there’s the screwage the waiter was avoiding. From Spears’s Dictionary of American Slang and Colloquial Expressions, 4th ed. (2007):
copulation; acts of copulation; the people and actions of copulation: His mind is on nothing but “screwage” and how to get some of it.
(This has screw ‘fuck’.)
Finally, there’s a computer sense, which the Jargon File (12/1/94) characterizes as:
Like lossage but connotes that the failure is due to a designed-in misfeature rather than a simple inadequacy or a mere bug.
(This appears to have the screw of screw up.)