Things I can’t give away to local agencies as toys, because they’re adult toys, in particular figures whose reason for being is that they’re ostentatiously phallic. The figures are supposed to be funny rather than arousing, but there’s no denying that they’re displaying phalluses.
There are two bags, one of doubly phallic things in plastic, a whole lot of them; and one of gay male action figures (three of them, each paired with a superhero action figure — passion among the mighty). In detail:
Bag one, the doubly phallic. From my 12/10/21 posting “Enchanced phallicity”:
A recent theme in my gay home decor (which is deeply playful but also flagrantly sexual …): 3-D printings of things that are not merely phallic by nature, but (also) deliberately designed to resemble penises in some detail; they are doubly phallic. The neck and head of a brontosaurus, or of a giraffe; an elephant’s trunk; a banana.
These are surprisingly cute. Most people report that after looking at them for a while, the fact that they all sport erect penises sort of fades into the background and they just become eccentric creatures (or bananas). (I’m in favor of using penises as significant items of decor, because they quickly become just part of the background, part of ordinary life, neither shocking nor arousing, and I think that’s the way things should be.)
Bonus for bag one: a very large shocking pink dildo, an unreal object, astonishing to behold (“look upon my dick, ye mighty, and despair”).
Bag two, the gay action figures. The Action 3 — Leather Carlos, Army Tyson, and Tom of Finland’s Rebel, all displaying (proportionally) elephantine penises — plus three D.C. Comics superhero action figures: Batman, Superman, and the Flash, paired with the Action 3 (Batman with Tyson, Superman with the Rebel, and the Flash with Carlos, but of course you can mix them up any way you want; they’re famously promiscuous, all six of them).
Trying to mail these would be a serious hassle, so they’re available only for pickup at my house (or home delivery, at Opal Armstrong Zwicky’s pleasure, if you’re not too far from downtown Palo Alto).
To request either of these bags, send e-mail to: arnold dot zwicky at-sign gmail dot com
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