Annals of Dutch phallicity

(This posting starts out merely being racily suggestive, but then I diverge into cheerleading for smaller penises and cataloguing the pleasures of fellatio, so it turns into something unsuitable for kids and the sexually modest. Though I look back at this section and think: I wish I’d had this to read as a kid, as a very young fagling with shame about the size of his penis and an unfocused yearning to learn how to perform fellatio to my satisfaction and my partner’s)

From Steven Levine on Facebook this morning, posting from the Netherlands:

[SL:] Pastries in Haarlem, about which I have no comment but the obvious.

What are we seeing? The ensuing exchange on Facebook between Steven and me:

— AZ > SL:  The top ones are filled with chocolate; just what are the bottom ones filled with? Little Würste?

— SL > AZ: I don’t know but surprisingly they look appetizing to me. Sausage in rich pastry usually looks too rich.

— AZ > SL: They are cute. (As a cheerleader for little dicks, I would be pleased if they did indeed turn out to be little Würste.) Could those possibly be little cylinders of chocolate, though?

— SL > AZ: Oh, I’m pretty certain they are sausages. That was clearer in the flesh, as it were.

“Clearer in the flesh”: wonderful.

And they are indeed adorable. And for praise of little dicks, I quote once again the best thing anyone has said about mine: a casual sexual partner at the baths, when we’d gotten past that awful moment when the other guy sees my dick — at 5″ erect, at the lower edge of the normal range for American men, so in no way actually small, but given American men’s obsession with big dicks, it counts as small, so as unworthy of sexual attentions — and hears my anxiety about whether he’s going to reject me (he was a hot guy, I was really yearning for a blow job , especially from him), and says (more or less — this is a very old memory):

Its just perfect: small enough to be easy to handle, but big enough to be thoroughly satisfying.

It’s the mouthfeel, with enough bulk to provide the psychological satisfaction of taking another man’s dick, the emblem of his masculinity, into your body, filling your mouth with it, feeling the blood beating in its veins, and then tasting it and smelling the powerful sex sweat that’s pouring into his crotch.

I have dealt with micropenises, as a gift to the desperate men who have them and not for my own pleasure. As for really big dicks, I have simply refused to try to take one in my mouth to any depth, though I can use my hands on the shaft and my mouth to massage just the dickhead. But that doesn’t give me much mouthfeel, though I still get the taste and smell.

Fortunately, most men are in fact in the normal range. My man Jacques was at the upper end, at 6″, and his dick was entirely pleasurable for me (as mine was for him; he was sweetly appreciative of my dick).

4 Responses to “Annals of Dutch phallicity”

  1. Bill Stewart Says: was an old favorite, now long gone.

  2. arnold zwicky Says:

    From Joel Levin on Facebook:

    Actually, pigs-in-a-blanket came first to mind, but the pastry looks so much more appetizing than what p-i-a-b usually has. (The sausage too.)

    Pigs-in-a-blanket are tasty but crude. These little guys are elegant.

  3. Gijs Doorenbos Says:

    Searching the net for (Dutch) “knakworst in bladerdeeg” should give you plenty of example images. Knakworst is apparently knackwurst, a variation on frankfurter. Bladerdeeg is puff pastry.

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