Dick Dino decor

(Well, yes, penis-simulacra heavy on the ground, so unwelcome to some eyes, though it’s all pretty silly. But there’s the warning.)

It started with this dickosaurus photo from Aric Olnes:

(#1) Cross a dick with a carnivorous Tyrannosaurus or Allosaurus, you get a Dickosaurus (also spelled Dickasaurus, syn. Cockasaurus), a fearsome despoiler of sexcavities — but, somehow, cute

This one is pictured with a gaggle of its recently hatched offspring. There’s a lot we don’t know about dinosaur sex, so you’re free to fantasize freely about how this Dickosaurus might satisfy your tingly desires.

After some false starts, I finally discovered a number of Etsy sources for Dick Dino models (created by using 3D printers). So to advance the genital theme in my household — every gay household needs at least one naked man as a design element, and, of course, more is always better — I have ordered up three Dick Dinos, in neon pink, purple, and (as in #1) red. They will keep the shocking pink Lollicock dildo company.

You’ve seen the dicks and cocks, now gaze on the phalluses. Yes, there are Phallosauruses and Phallusauruses (even Phallisauruses, though I won’t handle them here).

On Facebook, this adorable creature:

(#2) The adorable herbivorous Phallosaurus, clearly a phallus x Apatosaurus (aka Brontosaurus), molded from a clay-like modeling material

Back to carnivores, with this Phallusaurus from 9gag.com:

(#3) That would be a phallus x Spinosaurus

From Wikipedia on this dinosaur:

Spinosaurus (meaning “spine lizard”) is a genus of spinosaurid dinosaur that lived in what now is North Africa during the Cenomanian to upper Turonian stages of the Late Cretaceous period, about 99 to 93.5 million years ago.

… Spinosaurus is the largest of all known terrestrial carnivores; other large carnivores comparable to Spinosaurus include theropods such as Tyrannosaurus, Giganotosaurus and Carcharodontosaurus.

… The distinctive neural spines of Spinosaurus, which were long extensions of the vertebrae (or backbones), grew to at least 1.65 meters (5.4 ft) long and were likely to have had skin connecting them, forming a sail-like structure

Don’t forget the penises. My XBlog posting of 11/16/10, “Phallicity: the penisaurus”, repeated here in its entirety (though formatted a bit differently), now that I believe its contents are acceptable on WordPress.

First there was the discovery of the dinosaurs, then the assembling of their remains into skeletal images, then the visual reconstructions of them as wholes — giving us creatures with various degrees and kinds of phallicity, especially the horns on some of them and the long necks terminating in rounded heads on others.

Then came the word dinosaur (first attestation in OED2 in 1841) and names for particular species, like Tyrannosaurus rex (with the prominent horn) and Brontosaurus and Stegosaurus (of the long-necked variety). [This posting is not about the “correct” names for the creatures; I’m merely citing well-known names that might have contributed to the next developments.]

Who knows how early people put together the (reconstructed) appearance of these creatures and the name, to devise images of composite creatures. And the portmanteau name penisaurus. Here are three penisaurus images, cribbed from the net, of penisauruses of the long-necked variety:


(#5) (#6)

Then there are variants based on the horned dinosaurs, most notably the penisaurus of the spoof movie Flesh Gordon (Wikipedia article here, brief mention on my regular blog here). From the Wikipedia piece, referring to the hero Flesh Gordon and the scientist Dr. Flexi Jerkoff (Hans Zarkov in the original):

… the rocket ship has just landed on the planet Porno. A long necked, sauropod dinosaur with a glans-like head is seen out the window in the landscape. Flesh asks Dr.”J”, “What’s that”? “Must be some kind of penisaurus”, Dr. “J” replies matter-of-factly.

(The movie is packed with bad innuendo puns.) The later, fraught, encounter between Gordon and Zarkov and the penisaurus can be viewed here. Yes, it’s an extraordinarily cheesy movie.

The creature has a penis on its head, and it’s portrayed as a sex-crazed and extravagantly effeminate gay man, with The Voice, the vocabulary, and even big lipsticked lips and a handbag. Eventually Gordon and Zarkov, pursued, retreat into a suspiciously omphalic cave, which the penisaurus then fucks. And comes into, in a torrent of green ooze that carries the space travelers into the cave’s inner depths.

That’s already probably more than you wanted to hear.

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