It’s come around again

(Consider the topic before reading on.)

That would be National Masturbation Day, May 7th, today — launching National Masturbation Month, lusty May:

(#1) From my 5/4/18 posting “Then, if ever, come lusty days”

(#2) “Black Solo” (from the Porn for Women TV site), cropped

Specifically, self-lust, self-pleasure.  A regular topic on this blog — write about what you know, they say, and I’ve been practicing this one for about 67 years — also an occasional hook for movie comedy.

The back files for the chirosexual holidays (cf. chiropodist, lit. ‘hand-foot-ist’):

from 6/2/13 “A holiday I missed”: National Masturbation Month (May) and Day (May 7th); attitudes about masturbation

from 5/13/16 “stroke”: masturbation and its vocabulary; masturbation sleeves

from 3/24/17 “Hand jobs”

from 3/24/17 “The invention of the X job”, taking off from the idea that the hand job was an invention

from 5/13/17 “Months and days”: why May for National Masturbation Month?

Masturbation at the movies. Four picks. Masturbating oneself, rather than another. Male masturbation, specifically. And comedies, though the Comedy category embraces a wide range of approaches.

1 Spanking the Monkey (1994). From Wikipedia:


Spanking the Monkey is a 1994 American black comedy film written and directed by David O. Russell. The title is a slang phrase for masturbation and is used in the film by one of the teenage characters.

Frustrated masturbation; prostitutes; incest; suicide attempts. But somehow funny.

There’s Something About Mary (1998). From Wikipedia:


There’s Something About Mary is a 1998 comedy film, directed by the Farrelly brothers, Bobby and Peter. It stars Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller and Matt Dillon and it is a combination of romantic comedy, slapstick, and gross-out film.

In 1985, high school student Ted Stroehmann (Ben Stiller) lands a prom date with his dream girl Mary Jensen (Cameron Diaz), which is cancelled after a painful and embarrassing zipper accident.

Ted gets his dick caught in his zipper. And then there’s the hair gel clip:

 (#5) With cum on Ted’s ear

3 American Pie (1999). From my 10/22/15 posting “From shirtless Monday: Seann William Scott”, on the actor as Stifler in 1999’s American Pie:


[Wikipedia: The title is borrowed from the pop song of the same name and refers to a scene in the film, in which the lead character is caught masturbating with a pie after being told that third base feels like “warm apple pie”.]

… Even from the poster — with its slogan “There’s something about your first piece” — you can see it revels tastelessly in teen sex. And so it does, hilariously. But with many very sweet touches.

4 Don Jon (2013). From Wikipedia:


Don Jon is a 2013 American romantic comedy-drama film written and directed by Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Produced by Ram Bergman and Nicolas Chartier, the film stars Gordon-Levitt, Scarlett Johansson, and Julianne Moore, with Rob Brown, Glenne Headly, Brie Larson, and Tony Danza in supporting roles. The film premiered under its original title Don Jon’s Addiction at the Sundance Film Festival on January 18, 2013, and had its wide release in the United States on September 27, 2013.

Plot: Jon Martello is a young Italian American and modern-day Don Juan living in New Jersey, with a short list of things he cares about: “my body, my pad, my ride, my family, my church, my boys, my girls, my porn.” Though he has a very active sex life, he is more sexually satisfied by viewing pornography and masturbating, which he claims allows him to “lose himself.”

Another theme from the masturbation literature: that it’s so satisying, and so easy, that it can supplant desire for sex with a partner.

2 Responses to “It’s come around again”

  1. Robert Coren Says:

    And then there’s the “peach” scene from Call Me By Your Name.

    • arnold zwicky Says:

      Indeed, and scenes from other movies that are not comedies. But I restricted my focus to make the task of choosing a few examples manageable — and also light-hearted.

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