Swiss Navy

(Swiss Navy lubricants for sex, so not to everyone’s taste. But there will be Swiss Army knives.)

Accidentally encountered in one of my forays into things Swiss: Swiss Navy products:


The company offers both water-based and silicone-based lubes and a number of specialities, including masturbation cream and (clove-scented) anal lubricant.

The parent company is M.D. Science Lab, Pompano Beach FL:

Formed in early 1999, M.D. Science Lab, LLC’s mission has been to bring innovative and value-added health, wellness and lifestyle products to market for the natural product consumer. Each year, since our inception, M.D. Science Lab has released successful new sexual health and wellness products and gained notable market share.

Internationally successful products, which include Swiss Navy Lubricants, Viva Cream and Max Nutritional Supplement Products, have made M.D. Science Lab an American success story.

I see no connection to Switzerland or things Swiss at all, beyond the jokey name Swiss Navy (lubes), a play on Swiss Army (knives).

There is no Swiss navy per se, but the Army has a maritime branch with a flotilla that patrols lakes Geneva, Lucerne, Lugano, Maggiore and Constance (which lie across international borders). (Further information in this link.)

Swiss Army knives are genuinely Swiss; they are made by the Victorinox company, in Switzerland. From their website:

In 1884, the Swiss pioneer Karl Elsener founded his cutler’s business. A few years later, he paved the way for an unparalleled company history by developing the legendary «Original Swiss Army Knife».

Today, Victorinox produces and sells unique, high quality products worldwide which are of practical use in differing areas of life: Swiss Army Knives, Cutlery, Watches, Travel Gear and Fragrances.

The head office of the company is in Ibach, Schwyz, in the heart of Switzerland.

(Truly the heart; Schwyz is one of the three original cantons in the confederation.)

A multi-purpose tool is almost never as useful as a collection of individual tools each designed for a specific purpose, but it has the virtue of compactness, and some of its tools can be well designed for their purposes. As in this medium-sized Victorinox (the Evolution 14 model, selling for $38.75) with 8 tools performing (according to the company) 14 functions:


(In Swiss red, with a Swiss white-cross shield on it. This is almost exactly the model I have — but cannot at the moment find.)

Still, medium-sized, but at the top of the line in tools and functions, the Swiss Champ XAVT model, 19 tools with 35 functions (selling for $425):


Awfully cluttered for anyone.  A nightmare for someone like me whose hands barely work any more. And this is only the medium size; yes, there is a large size.

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