Crude japery

(If the image and text in #1 make you uneasy, pass on to something else. Otherwise there’s only coarse humor here, of the sort that delights middle-schoolers.)

From Aric Olnes on Facebook yesterday, this bit of crude foolishness, to which Aric added the title “Get Lei’d!”:

(#1) Marilyn Monroe + oink (of a pig) = Marilyn Monroink (the hula-dancing pig)

Dancing on what appears to be a slab of Spam (the canned meat product made mostly from ham), from a roll of the stuff. Spam from pig meat, boned and processed.

Providing an opening for coarse sexual word play on bone and roll (in a context where sexual pig and pork lurk).

Of course, I wondered where the image and text came from, who composed them. Searching took me to a larger and much more complex page of crude japery (an ad for “Dickman’s Boned Rolled Pig: Institutional Meat Food”, from Dickman Rendering & Creaming Inc.), on Reddit, where it came from Imgur (without attribution, of course). I then found some of the components of the joke ad, and eventually the identity of its creator, the cheerfully crude graphic artist Cris Shapan.

The full ad:


Lexical matters, snickerfacient and otherwise. First the coarse snickerfacient verbs:  bone not meaning ‘remove the bones from’, roll not meaning ‘move or cause to move by turning over on an axis’, cream not meaning ‘work into a soft paste’ or ‘add cream to’:

From NOAD on the bone of they bone me:

noun bone: 4 vulgar slang a penis. [esp. an erect penis, a boner; metaphorical]

verb bone: 3 [with object] US vulgar slang (of a man) have sexual intercourse with (someone).

From GDoS on the roll of they roll me:

verb roll: 1. to have sexual intercourse (orig. meaning work, it was [metaphorically] extended in blues songs to mean intercourse, i.e. the physical effort involved). [1st cite 1842 ‘In the Days When We Went Rogering’ in Nancy Dawson’s Cabinet of Songs 30: Ve roll’d ’em in the haycocks then, / Or in the grass so green.]

… 3 to assault (one rolls the victim over). (a) to rob, usu. a drunk or any helples person… [1st cite1866]

And from GDoS on the cream of Rendering and Creaming:

noun cream: 1. semen [1st cite c.1629] [metaphorical]

verb cream: 1 lit. or fig refs. to ejaculation. (a) of a man, to ejaculate. [1st cite 1915; uses are mostly intransitive, but also transitive, as in cream one’s pants ‘ejaculate in one’s pants’, cream someone’s ass ‘ejaculate on someone’s buttocks; ejaculate in someone’s anus’]

Then, two snickerfacient nouns: the proper name Dickman, with first element dick, sometimes referring to the penis; and meat, sometimes referring to the penis.

Two non-snickerfacient words (from me, not Shapan): japery and snickerfacience itself:

verb jape: [no object] say or do something in jest or mockery. DERIVATIVES japery noun. (NOAD)

on snickerfacience, in my 5/3/18 posting “He said “prickles””

Some components of #1 and #2. A commenter on Imgur pointed me towards the truth about the apparent slab of Spam in these images: pink fiberglass insulation, which is sold in rolls like this one:


Compare this with slices of actual Spam:


Then the hula-dancing pig. Suprisingly, there are rather a lot of such images, as here:


But, eventually, on a Pinterest board I came across this Piggy Valentine card from ca. 1940s:

(#6) Bingo! Marilyn Monroink!

Next, Dickman’s Meat. Quite possibly based on an actual establishment, Dickman’s Meat & Deli, at two locations in Tucson AZ, offering “Shopping-center butcher & deli with specialty groceries, sandwiches & a few eat-in tables”.

Dickman’s has been featured in at least one other joke ad by Cris Shapan:


Finally, Dickman’s Rendering & Creaming Inc. at 1011 E. Slauson, Los Angeles. A genuine address, the site of Tool Specialty Co. in South Park, manufacturer of carbide cutting tools. South Park is densely populated, almost 80% Latino / 20% African American, with one of the highest percentges of young people in the country. Tough neighborhood for rendering and creaming.

Cris Shapan. There’s an Imgur gallery on The Genius of Cris Shapan, with images but no text to speak of. And the graphic designer maintains an entertaining Facebook page, under this banner:

(#8) The FB page of Chris Shapan (Clarington Shpoo), who also does graphics design and visual effects on tv (The Kroll Show and others)

(Crude play on fucks and spooge, at least.)

Other Cris Shapan ads offer Johnson’s Winking Glue, Joe Flynn’s Personal Eggs (they’re pre-cracked), getting facial hair instantly with Beard-O, Orson Welles speaking for Peeps (“When the desire for mallow-based confecton prevails, I must insist upon Peeps”), and more.

And then there are the joke book covers, like:


Compost Girl by Jimbo Michener, Defiled by Chickens by G. Alexander Trebek, Where the Hell Is My Underwear? by Houston Flournoy, and many many more.


8 Responses to “Crude japery”

  1. arnold zwicky Says:

    And, from Neal Whitman, this link to the radio comedy of Dr. Demento, “Chicken Dick’s Chicken Sticks:

  2. j a higginbotham Says:

    The horsefat is based on 1955 Kraft’s margarine ad. Seen on Flickr at

  3. Jon Dickman Says:

    My name is actually Jon Dickman. I would love to get an origin of these.

    • arnold zwicky Says:

      What more are you asking for? More on the Dickman company? If it’s the origin of your family name, that’s pretty straightforward: the dick part is related to English dyke ‘ditch’ — or if your name was originally German Dickmann, then the first element means ‘thick’ or ‘fat’.

  4. jeffmissinne Says:

    I am so goddam sick and tired of Cris Shapan and his fake ads and bogus LP covers. He is at best a one-trick-pony; his only “joke” is “weren’t our parents / grandparents a bunch of brainless sheeple, while WE’RE simply ever so clever and too fucking cool to live.”

    Maybe it isn’t even so much Shapan’s crap itself as all the online idiots who repost it insisting it’s got to be real. (So whooo’s a bunch of brainless sheeple??)

    No, Kayden, Doris Day NEVER posed for an ad for steam rollers. There’s no such thing as a restaurant called Mickey Rooney’s Potato Fantasy, and no record albums titled Alan Hale’s Roman Orgy or Learn To Count With James Mason and the Chipmunks. Winking glue and fudge potato topping were never actual products.

    But when I challenge these phonies (the people, not Shapan’s fakes) I get called everything in the book. It’s a losing battle.

    • arnold zwicky Says:

      The parody genre mocking ads and album covers continues unabated to this day (and predates Shapen, going back to the time when magazine ads and album covers first appeared; basically, as soon as there’s a genre there’s going to be a genre parodying it). Shapen just happens to be a notable contributor to the genre. It’s scarcely a parodist’s fault if some people mistake their parodies for real things. Direct your anger as these people, not the parodists (who bring entertainment into our lives).

  5. jeffmissinne Says:

    Except I’ve never found his stuff funny, just pointlessly snarky.

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