Red hots, getcher red hots here!

Anticipating Memorial Day (May 29th this year), Pinterest has provided a big Hot Dog board. Memorial Day is a US holiday honoring Americans who died while serving in the armed forces, but it has also come to be the unofficial beginning of the summer vacation season and so the occasion for patriotic picnics (like the Fourth of July, but usually without fireworks or marching bands): hot dogs, hamburgers, mayonnaise salads (especially potato salad), watermelon, and so on.

Now, hot dogs are natural phallic symbols, more potent in a bun, and even more potent with the tip of the hot dog protruding from the bun, simulating a glans penis.

As a bonus, one Memorial Day picnic site suggests fruit skewers for the holiday — just the thing for Queer Memorial Day, with rainbow fruit in Pride Flag order and bright strawberry dickheads.

Three hot dog suggestions: Bacon-Wrapped Hot Dogs, Cordon Bleu Hot Dogs, Pastrami Hot Dogs (with pickle phallicity as an extra).

Wrap it in bacon. Charred glans alert!

(#1)

Wrap it in ham and pour blue cheese on it. From the source:

Cordon bleu doesn’t have to mean fancy – these Cordon Bleu dogs have hot dogs wrapped in ham and then topped with a creamy Dijon cheese sauce.

(#2)

Is that a pickle in your bun? The first two are notably trayf. But here’s a thoroughly kosher alternative. From the source:

Pastrami Hot Dogs: Kosher All-Beef Jumbo hot dogs steam cooked, tossed in a potato bun loaded with New York style pastrami, yellow mustard and a dill pickle

(#3)

The prick peeps  / From beneath the / Pickle and pastrami

Stick an American flag in it. For the full patriotic picnic effect:

(#4)

Totally queer bonus. From a site offering lo-cal and no-cal treats for Memorial Day picnics, these fruit skewers:

(#5)

These are apparently offered in all innocence, though they’re clearly gay dicks on sticks — in rainbow (purple, blue, green, yellow, orange, red), just like the Pride Flag, and with strawberries for inflamed dickheads. Picnic feast time!

 

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