Crotch news bulletins

Two news items about men’s junk: a Guardian story about the mammalian penis bone, and its lack in human beings; and an ad for a new line of quirky men’s underwear, the Eletrunks (“Now you can adjust your manhood discreetly”).

 Stiff Times at Dickmont High. Or: Science marches on. A piece by Ian Sample in yesterday’s Guardian, “Why don’t humans have a penis bone? Scientists may now know: Speed of human mating might be behind the lack of a baculum in humans, suggests study tracing bone’s evolution”.

Kit Opie[,] who ran the study with Matilda Brindle at University College London, said that penis bone length was longer in males that engaged in what he called “prolonged intromission.” In plain English, that means that the act of penetration lasts for more than three minutes, a strategy that helps the male impregnate the female while keeping her away from competing males. The penis bone, which attaches at the tip of the penis rather than the base, provides structural support for male animals that engage in prolonged intromission.

In chimps, the penis bone is no longer than a human fingernail. The tininess of the bone correlates with the very short spell that the male spends mating, in the order of seven seconds. In chimpanzee groups, females mate with all the males, in what appears to be a strategy to reduce the risk of her children being killed by older males. “It gives each male an idea that they may have fathered the subsequent offspring, and it is in her interests to get that done quickly,” Opie said.

Humans may have lost their penis bones when monogamy emerged as the dominant reproductive strategy during the time of Homo erectus about 1.9 million years ago, the scientists believe. In monogamous relationships, the male does not need to spend a long time penetrating the female, because she is not likely to be leapt upon by other amorous males. That, at least, is the theory.

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Penis bones from various mammals. The baculum varies so much in terms of length and whether it is present at all, that it is described as the most diverse bone ever to exist.

On the baculum (Latin baculum ‘stick, staff, baton’), from Wikipedia:

The baculum (also penis bone, penile bone or os penis) is a bone found in the penis of many placental mammals. It is absent in the human penis, but present in the penises of other primates, such as the gorilla and chimpanzee. The bone is located above the male urethra, and it aids sexual reproduction by maintaining sufficient stiffness during sexual penetration. The homologue to the baculum in female mammals is known as the baubellum or os clitoridis – a bone in the clitoris.

On the speed of ejaculation in human beings, from Wikipedia:

The 1948 Kinsey Report suggested that three-quarters of men ejaculate within two minutes of penetration in over half of their sexual encounters.

Current evidence supports an average intravaginal ejaculation latency time (IELT) of six and a half minutes in 18- to 30-year-olds. If the disorder is defined as an IELT percentile below 2.5, then premature ejaculation could be suggested by an IELT of less than about two minutes.

… There is no uniform cut-off defining “premature”, but a consensus of experts at the International Society for Sexual Medicine endorsed a definition including “ejaculation which always or nearly always occurs prior to or within about one minute”.

… studies report PE prevalence ranging from 3 percent to 41 percent of men over 18, but the great majority estimate a prevalence of 20 to 30 percent — making PE a very common sex problem

Be kind to your balls-bearing friends. Brought to my attention by Kim Darnell, this entertaining video ad for Eletrunks boxer shorts. A still version:

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The ele- from elephant, elephants being animals with trunks; and from elevate, elevating your junk being the point of the underwear. The garnent is designed to be kind to the testicles of boxers-wearing men, and to allow for lifting them discreetly in public — though you still have to stick a hand in your trousers to get at the lifter.

Background information from Wikipedia for understanding the company’s ad copy (to come):

Modal is a type of rayon, a semi-synthetic cellulose fiber made by spinning reconstituted cellulose, in this case often from beech trees. Modal is used alone or with other fibers (often cotton or spandex) in household items such as pajamas, towels, bathrobes, underwear and bedsheets.

Now for the company’s breezy copy:

How we started

While taking a sabbatical to travel Peru, Ecuador, and Colombia, founder Michael decided to buy a motorcycle to explore the mountains and jungle at his leisure. He found that every pair of boxers compromised the comfort of his family jewels.

He decided to fix the issue and designed what you see today – Eletrunks!

The making of Eletrunks

Manufactured in Brooklyn. Sourced in NYC from material made in the USA.

Made of breathable, environmentally friendly, incredibly soft modal fabric.

Modal = Beachwood tree fiber. 20x less water than cotton, 10x more production. 99.5% recycled process.

Soft, silky, sustainable.

How are Eletrunks different?

Eletrunks literally let you elevate your manhood without reaching below your waistband. They also create chafe-free zones under the legs and keep you from sticking to yourself.

How you ask?

Your manhood goes into the pouch, keeping it away from your legs. When you need to readjust, you simply use the patented ‘Lifter,’ a string that attaches from the waistband to the bottom of the pouch, and it elevates your entire manhood.

Because of the pouch design, you receive the benefit of gaining maximum coverage along the legs which eliminates any skin to skin contact. This is the brilliance and difference in the design.

Or you could wear briefs.

 

 

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