Vases for phallophiles

(Warnings: penis simulacra by the handful. And not much about language.)

Home furnishing news for penises, starting with a bud vase featured (very briefly) in the Bel Ami porn flick An American in Prague. Actually, this gauzy shot is from an unused solo scene by the pornstar known as Chance. The vase, with a single red rose in it, appears in the background, on a nightstand next to the bed Chance is lolling lustfully in, and simultaneously in a foreground shot that very quickly dissolves, so this is a sex-red dream-like moment.


The bright red dickhead is a bit of a shocker. And it takes a moment to get used to the fact that the rose stem is inserted in the vase’s urethra — floral sounding! — or else shooting out of it, like cum or piss.

A similar item, rather more life-like, in dark brown:


Then something more like ordinary vases, highly stylized in shape (so that you might just be able to get away with it even if penises aren’t a design motif in your living room):


(This one is available in a number of colors.) Here, the flowers pretty clearly spring from the dickhead.

Finally, a wide-mouthed vase that boldly simulates an entire crotch, including an erect penis. No getting around what this one’s about:


Like the bud vases, this is a decorative touch for private quarters.

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